xmas~~

actually i was thinking, pondering whether i shld blog this down anot~ becoz i dont wanna leave any note of misery down anywhere to remind myself of sad things that happened to me~~ but in the end~~ i decided to blog it down~~ becoz~~ i really need to~~ i know i wont look back to my previous articles to see what i've wrote to remind myself of the pain~~ i juz hope that once i throw it into the computer~~ i'll forget it and leave it to the com.

this xmas is the worst xmas that i ever will have. though is the most holy one~ but is the worst. it makes me feel like i'm cursed~~ i'm cursed to be lonely for all my festive seasons. the first left me before v day, second left me before xmas~~ n yet.. the third. the one i love most, the one i treasure most, the one that love me most~~ the one tht.. i hate to see him cry n hurt him most~~ i got no choice but to leave him all alone this xmas to go for some holy class...

i really dont know~~~ dont know how to make it back~~ i know i cant make it back in any way, there is not another 2005 xmas.. but my love, my heart, my mind is still all with u~~ i left u something that i hope u wil like it... i hope that can represent me in bringing light to u when i'm not ard. i love u~~

u might feel that i can choose, i can rebel, i can juz go with u n fell out with my parents. but it is really something i cant do~ i'll try hard to gain my independent. trust me.

i love u!!

merry xmas

SO ACCURATE~~

wow~~ yesterday something funny happened~~ actually is the day b4 la~~ hhahaha

okay~ was talking to my collegue~ den her "scandalous" was like msging her n all~~ some nerdy guy la~~ but we think he like her la~~ den msg here n there~~ den i say sacarly later he msg ask u go for lunch~~ she was like..: "er.. better not~~" in the end~~ that guy really asked her out for lunch sia~~~ wahaHAHAHAH

den after that we talk talk~~ den dont know why talked abt she taking transport~~ den i asked her~~ " have u ever missed ur stop?? if missed den how?? what will happened??" den she told me so far she has NV missed her stop~~ nv slept till nv wake up b4~~ n ON THAT VERY DAY!!! she actually really over slept n almost missed her stop lor~~~ wahahahhahaha... but luckily got ppl wake her up la~~ den she was like~~ wow~~ eerie!!!

hahaha.a.. yup~~

today work?? boring~~ realise ppl there are com idiots~~ really know nuts abt com~~ only simple stuff they can do~~ den helped "witch" to do her com job today~~ SO COLD!! her place is like antartica sia~~ damn damn cold~~~ freezed!!

boring day~~ ended!!!

st john~~

wow~ i went st john for the wkend~ which is totally cool~~ but.. kinda short~~

27/11/05
we set of from my hse to raffles place mrt~~ we took nel to outram den to raffles place~~
den reach there at abt 9.15am~~ one of the latest~ ops~~ coz i tot is 9.20am meet there~~
den we waited for food and some in charge to come with the food~~ they reached abt 10++ i guess~~ den we set of to st john by boat~~
looking at the movement of the boat~ starting so not use to it~~ felt giddy for quite some time~~ den after that quite alright~~ stood at the back of the boat~~ in the open place~~ quite crowded but was cool~~ dar dar was sweet, he actually tot of bringing guava with prune powder scare i'll feel giddy n vomit in the boat~~ but i was fine~~ no one vomitted actually.

abt 11+ we reached the island~~ waited outside our bunk for quite some time coz they went to office to get the keys n all~~ at the mean time we had our first activity, drawing grp FLAG!! hahaa.. 4 grps in total, tok gong, ai zai, gang hor,gong gong~~ yup~~ i'm in gong gong n dar dar in ai zai and JY.. er.. i only know first grp but dont know the name~~

soon after we got the bed sheets n all~~ forgot where i went or what i do~~ wasnt at my bed when they distributing the bed sheet n dar dar did the bed sheet thingy for me~~ so nice n tidy~~ thanks dar~~ so SWEET! kekee...

after lunch we started our program~~ first with our wonderful story of a past saint "SHUN". he is an emperor. YS N ER really can act sia~~ so so funny~~ n Ber.. funny birdy~~ lol.. and YM is the ELEPHANT~~ skinny elephant~~~den moved on to some introduction of our whole program thingy, the religious stuff.. quite dry but informative~~

den to the cooking of maggie mee~~ we used mass tin~~ used stones at the base to stable the tin~ den got solid fuel~~ 6 matches to light up the solid fuel~~ i know nuts abt all those~~ so the guys did the stuff~~ all i do is juz cooking the mee~~ n almost got he whole thing down the drain coz the base wasnt stable~~~ but in the end we are the first grp to omplete cooking the mee and taste the best~~ lol~~

den after that~~ hmm... got some outdoor treasure hunt thingy~~ that was like COOL~~ juz too short n not challenging enough~~ but was quite fun~~ 4 stations.. one is to act some part of scriptures out~~ one is to run abt looking for some one resemble some sage and look for some password~~ one is to go round doing survey at a very quiet empty place like st john..lucky we manage to complete the task~~ n lastly is to join up some stuff la~~ after that was BBQ!!
n dar dar got alot of nice extra food~ he was all the while doin the bbq stuff~~ scare he nv eat den i feed him here n there~~ ppl complain we too sweet~~ hahaha... while others ask is he my elder brother~~ wahahahaha.. but here i conclude he is my DARLING> DEAR> LAO GONG!! after that got nite trail actually but me n dar dar didnt go~~ continue doing up last part of the bbq~~ he made a great food that all likes sia~~ so nice so crispy so wow~~ lol.. n all juz chiong for it~~

actually didnt wanna slp~~ wanna go beach area have some romantic time with dar dar~~ but they didnt allow~~ say too dangerous~~ so watched movie~~ but was too tired~~ den went slp at abt 2 i guess~~ no watch dont know time~ den got some blind folding stuff~ some water games~~ dar was like so so fast la~ got all ppl wet~~ hahaa.. but the water was like not very deep la~~ no fun!!! den cant go far too~~ sianded~~~

den after that lunch~ prize presentation~~ nothing much le~~ yup~~
went back home~~ yeah~~
enjoyed~~~
I WANT THE PIX!!!
=)

i hurt him~~

hai... long story that i dont want to remember~~ but i've hurt him~~ again n again make him unhapy n sad~~ not because i've done anything that betrayed him.. but.. juz make him sad~~

darling i love u..
nothing gonna change my love for u~~
u are the one n only for me this life n forever
i dont know what to do to cheer u up~~
i juz wanna see the sunshine smile u use to have again~~
hearing u trying so so hard to talk properly in tears..
really HURT me so so hard~~
i juz cant stop tearing thinking of u crying all alone on ur bed~~
darling~~ i wont let u go~~
never~~ no matter what~~ i'm urs.. u are mine~~
nth can change this fact~
thanks for the love u've given me~~
thanks for the care u've shown~~
thanks for the tears u've shed for me~~
thanks for the change that u've done for me~
i can see~~ i can feel~~
i love u with all my heart n soul~~
darling~~ i LOVE u~~

why m i like that?

sometimes i really wonder~~ why m i like that~~ i used to be so so contented with my life~~ so happy with everything ard me when i was a kid~~ when i start growing up~~ things changes.. i have my own views i have my own friends i have my own things to do~~ yet i dont have my own freedom, own choice, own world. i always admire ppl with firm character~~ do what they want~~ what they feel is right, defiant to parents at times to get their way thru. yet i can't. i really can't. i'm born in a way that as long as all are happy, i m happy~~

life shld be simple n happy~~ juz come to a conclusion that all are happy with.. will be gd le~~ BUT the complication comes when it is always not the case as all ppl have different views on different aspect. Y?? cause they live in a different environment, met with different ppl, different encounter, learn different things, see the world n life differently. thru experience, they have their own believe, perspective, mindset. u cant possibly have all to live life the same way. hence, all grow to have different mentality~

the problem arise here~ one family has more den one person~~ everyone got their on thinking and problem will arise~~ so who wins in the end?? of course the ones with louder voice, strongest stand will win~~ but doesnt mean those who juz kept quiet will lose. juz that they dont wanna talk in anger~~ they prefer to talk things out after all has cal down~~ calming down is real hard~~ i always cant do it too~~ getting too emotional is bad too~~ how?

i also dont know how~~ cox i also cant control my emotions too.. at times i feel like juz vanish in thin air... so that all problems will be solved. as i dont have to face them. sometimes i feel like juz running away totally. from my restricted home n go~~ but i've got my responsibility as a child. sometimes i feel like running away from the relationship~~ but I LOVE HIM!! SO SO MUCH!!! that i DONT want to. sometimes i hope that i'll get knock down by a car~ so that both my parents n darling will know that both parties love n care for me alot~~ and they can work hand n hand to see me recovering~~ sometimes i juz hope i can marry off straight away, so that i can at least break free from one side of the story~~

i know running away isnt a gd way~~ i m still thinking of a solution~~ i m trying to~~ really hope both my dar dar n my parents and stay in peace n harmony~~ hope to see them being happily together~~ coz they are all the ppl i LOVE MOST in the whole wide world~~ can lose anyone~ but THEM!!

lost weight!!!

me n dar dar got sweeter den before le~~
lol... so happy~~ we got so sweet.. reunion le~~ lol~~ okay.. gg mad~~

okie.. today weighed! lighter le~~ now 77kg!! kekee..
den got ppl say i look pretty den slimmer~~ wahhahahahaha..

so happy today.. making a secret pressie for dar dar for our 4th month

YES!! 4th month is coming!!! fast right?
wahhahahahahaha...

kekeke.e.. k la~ kinda crap here...

yesterday cla paper done le~ now with maths n chem le~~ jia you!!!!!!!

a very wrong moved

told him something i shldnt have told him yesterday... haiz...

my mum n i were talking den suddenly she brought the issue that my relatives like dont have very gd impression of him... he used to be asking alot about how my parents thought of him and all.. so i decided to let him know abt that.. haiz.. i was a wrong moved...

because i told him that.. den he actually got very bu shuang abt my uncle.. cause it was juz recently that my uncle saw him~~ juz we brought this issue up~ haiz... dar use to say that he don't want to have any tea ceremony when we got married. dont even want to have any wed dinner.. i was quite upset cause to me that marks the start of our marriage and is when that i can announce to the whole world i found my mr right who will love me and dote on me forever..

not long ago.. he got to know a fren of mine.. changing his thinking of not having a tea ceremony and the wed dinner.. because he found out that it is a gd way to so call earn back the money we use for the whole wedding thingy. den he agreed to have all that.. i was so delighted.. because my dream of my wedding day is going to become reality again~~~

haiz.. but all things juz ruin in my hands... i actually told him abt the impression thingy making him dislike my uncle now and saying that no more tea ceremony and he will nto be invited to my wedding dinner... my that uncle is my god father as well.. he dote on me alot too.. i really hope to have his blessing for my marriage too.. n hope dar dar can get along well with him too.. but now things turn out to be otherwise.. dreams is back to dreams again~~ haiz.. i made the very wrong moved...

our third month~~

our third month falls on a friday.. dar dar normally will go home after he is release from his camp and we normally will only meet up on saturday morning.. but this day.. he came my hse!!! ekekeke.. so happy~~ we spent the whole night together.. din do much stuff.. but juz sit down talk talk... den exchange pressie~~

he was so so sweet.. he actually spending lots of his time doing cross-stitch for me~~ meltz~~ cant imagine the process.. a guy making a cross stitch~~~ wonder if he had ever made one for his ex... hmmm... oh!! and her gave me a necklace~~ kekeke.. to tie me up?? lock up my heart to be juz for u? kekekee.... nice necklace.. is a heartshape den.. but is like 2 heartshape putting together making up a 3 D effect~ dont know how to describe. dont have good vocab here.. ops! kekekee...

i gave him a book. juz a book that hopefully he is still interested in and help him in his interest~ yup!

love u forever!!! HAPPY 3RD MONTH!!! and the 4th is coming~~ what shld i do for him???

mum's operation~

ya~ as my title goes.. my mum really went for an operation not long ago.. she had some.. er.. chinese is called niao shi jing n if i m not wrong is some bladder tension thingy. ya...

she went to KK hospital and had her operation~~ it was a minor operation so wasnt that bad~~ she was admitted a day before.. den the next day she had a minor operation which lasted for think around 2 hours?? after which den she got to rest there for a day.. den the next day can go home le~~ dar dar went with me to fetch her back~~

we thought that everything is gonna be fine.. but when she's back.. she said that the problem still persist.. sianZ~~ den she went back for appointment and the doctor said that it is juz the initial state.. it will be better.. but after a few days.. the doctor called back and said that my mum got to be admitted again for a second round of operation~ she say that she will charge her lesser as she felt bad not being able to cure her for the first time too..

den another whole day spent in hospital again. luckily.. she is feeling better now.. no more leakage when she has cough or when she's sneezing.. initially she is not allowed to do a single hsework.. but now she's able to do some light job le~~ yeah~~ but now... haiz.. coz mummy din work for a month and is not allowed to work for another 2 more months.. sobz... our family is having a financial problem soon~~ hopefully i'm able to start work straight after my a levels so that i will be able to at least lighten their load by not taking money from dad or sis anymore~~

so long nv blog le~~

it's been a long time since i last blog in.. think.. is really long le la... cant track back.. so so so many things happened in the period of time.. dont know where to start too.. hmm... guess... er... i really dont know. i shall start from what i wanna write today.. will put in more entries with the events that happened.

tml is the start of my a level. scary isnt it?? tml is my chem practical... monday is my CLA!! oh man~~ how how how?? hmm.. anyway.. i guess i m more prepared than i m last yr. at least i know what is going on in sch and all.. tuition did paid off as i m getting better with more personal help. however, sad to say.. havent start working i m having debts le.. luckily is without interest.. gd teacher!!! kekeke...

tml is dar dar's last paper after the 3 months.. den he'll be moving on to tuas to work le~~ wonder if that is good or bad~~ wonder if he'll be more busy or less. wonder will we have more time together or not..

today saw TY(godsis) scary la~ she like slim down so so much till like a bone in skin ?! her diet is that she dont eat lunch n no rice for dinner~~ oh man!! n i told her that she needs to get on some weight yet she says she wanna lose 2 more kg~~ she is crazy la~~ looking so so bony n unhealthy la~ scary... i hope i won't be like her.. using the same diet but with a low fat n carbo lunch instead of none. i s till prefer her to be "Fatter?" ya.. not like now~~~

den today went ning's hse.. called the agency for a job in some bank~ that was ning's agency in the past. den sent my resume in n all her reply was thanks for the resume.. hope she's able to get me a job~~ heard that i still need to go for interview~~ scary~~ nv been to any interview in my whole entire work life~~ may god be with me~~

today got to prepare for tml's pract... cannot talk to dar dar.. guess he muz be missing me like mad~~(HE BETTER BE~~ lol) i'm missing him too~~

~~shopping day~~

today is shopping day~~ hahhahaa.. meeting my great beloved friend knowing her since sec 1 the great thannaletchimy d/o thannagopal.. hahaha.. aka.. sara wilcox. hahhaa.. yup.. she is indeed a special fren of mine as she does speaks CHINESE!!! fluent chinese... (note: fluent doesnt mean chim complex or high standard of chinese) hahaha.. yup.. so.. how come we meet?? why??? it is all because of the great mooncake that she remembers my presence.. haix.. kinda sad to know that i am equivalent to a mooncake.. but it's okay.. we got to meet and see each other!! wow!! hahaha.. yup..

we suppose to meet at orchard mrt at 11am.. but so so so happened that we met at bishan mrt station and went orchard together.. she became so so skinny.. so thin.. envy.. but she follwing a strict diet.. almost like what i about to start with.. scary... but with the effect that i've seen~ i guess i'll have more confident to slim down le~~ she wanted to get a french dictionary as she is studying french now.. hahaha. so we went kinokuniya first~~ after she found her french dictionary.. i went on to find a present for my dar dar..hope that he din get it before me~~ i doubt he is able to get till next month la~~ haha.. coz last copy and i order from them de~~ kekeke..

next up we went to taka foodcourt for lunch.. share one plate. yup.. hahhaa.. with a cup of lime juice.. den went to hmv to get the vcd that her brother wanted.. haha.. but in the end.. all the way there and found out that not out yet.. den we move on to scotts road for yumi yogert!! so so nice!!! healthy too.. hahaha.. 97% fat free.. kekeke.. with strawberry toppings.. yummy!! hahahaha...

okay.. so we are back to wisma.. yup.. went to charles and keith to look for shoes.. hahhaa.. she got a 20% voucher.. so we both looked ard and got ourselves 2 pairs of slippers each.. nice nice de.. one pair is same de.. the other is not.. spent $45.50 on both shoes.. heart ache!~ but all my shoes spoil le.. no choice... yup.. but really nice and comfy. yup! another gd thing is they got bigger sizes.. so that i'm able to get it. hahhaa...

den went on to pepperplus to look around as she's planning to get some skirts.. in the end she got a pants and a skirt.. nice nice.. hai.. slim le wear wat ever also nice.. so gd!!!! i oso want to be like that!! ahhaha... yeah!!!!

after that walk around... found a place to sit den we chat chat a while den went back home le.. same journey back~~ yup.. oh~~ we met 2 ppl today.. while walking towards charles and keith.. she met her crush.. R ... hahah.. den she was so so happy~~ keke.. after that when we went back.. we saw Zi yuan at the mrt station.. haha.. so long nv see le~~ still as pretty.. haha.. more famine lor~~ yup!!! kekee...

4.20 reached home.. tired.. den slp.. haha.. 6++ woke up.. wanted to msg dar tell him i wake up le.. den juz tot if we are linked.. as in mentally in mind in heart... he will msg me de.. went toilet to relief my bladder and there.. he really sent a msg to me!!!! hahaha.. love you dar dar!!!!

day trip to ikea~

hehe.. last saturday dar dar goldfish and me we all go ikea together.. hahaha.. why?? buy the wok my mummy want.. kekeke.... 8.50 nia lehz.. cheap cheap sia... kekekee...

we suppose to walk to the 147 bus stop la~~ den i.. haha... i lost my way.. den we walked a long long way b4 we reach the bus stop.. den got on the bus and the journey was.. wow.. almost an hour long~~

here we reach ikea~~ cool~~ the place is so so big!! so so fun!! got to see how different type of furniture make up a wonderful place.. den think abt how we should design our future hse.. the different things we like to place in our hse and all.. den nice nice weird weird furniture..yeah!! that;s the way man!!!

after that went hagendaze... dont know how to spell la~~ ya. the ice cream shop.. wow. the ice cream so so nice~~ the crunch.. so so tasty... wow.. nice man~~ hahahaha.. love it~ den after that sit there talk talk.. wah!! $51.20 for 3 only wor.. ex nehz.. heartache for him ar~~ but nice wor.. hehehe....

after that came back home eat long tong.. nice nice.. mummy make day.. eat n eat all day.. fatter le la~~~

dont leave me in silence..

this few days.. we din talk much.. din meet him last wk.. miss him so much... yet.. seems like we have nth to talk on the phone le~~ dunno why.. been thinking why.. but no ans even when i msg and ask.

he called me ytd.. twice.. yet.. din talk much too... juz a few sentence den put down le...

miss those days...

missing you...

missing the love u used to shower me with..

miss those talk rubbish days...

miss those sweet moments we had together...

miss the secure feeling u gave me...

miss you~~

do you miss me too??

frankly... i can take it even u dont...

i wun do silly things to force u to be mine...

juz be frank with me~~

....

hmm... wonder why.. wonder why i got so much so in love with him le.. hai.. wonder is it a gd thing a not.. i felt that i a bit too possesive le.. like.. i juz want to be with him all the time.. want to know wat he is doin.. want to know everything abt him.. all his frenz.. wanna know how to be the only ger that he'll want. i actually shld trust him... but sometimes.. it's really hard for me to trust a person when i really fall for him.. i start to wonder if he really like me.. start to wonder if i'm in his heart all the time...

at the beginning.. we msg almost every min every sec.. soon... we talk on the phone when i got home... den he got quite poor den cant really msg that much.. in the end only get to talk at nite... when we are both free... miss all the msges that i got.. miss those time when i felt so much loved... when time pass.. i grown to have a fear in me.. i scared he'll go.. i scared he'll leave me.. i scared he'll juz go without telling me... without knowing why he's gone. i'm scared that coz i got too possesive that he'll dislike me.. scared coz i love him too much that he got sick of me.. scared that one day if he found his ideal ger.. i will have to leave... so much fear in me that i dunno wat to do..

i really felt that i'm getting too possessive but i dun want to. i wanna let him has his freedom. has rm of his own do wat ever he want. sometimes i will wonder if our difference make him dun want me as his ger... the more i got myself into the relationship... the more i will think.. think abt whether he truely like me anot.. think abt whether the more he knows abt me.. the more he will like me or the less he will like me..

i think i'm really thinking alot.. maybe i too sensitive.. little things will make me wonder alot n think pessimistically... i juz cant help be being like that...

i miss you.

5683 366 4382

my parents and sis went back msia le~~ on last saturday.. and from that day till now i'm alone at home.. saturday went hospi see XH mum. so scary... the moment i saw i really cant stop myself to tear lor.. she turn so so skinny~~ hate to see that lor~ den she semi conscious.. sad scene...

after tat went to religious class with CW.. stupid ger.. in the end make use of me den go out with her bf.. win liao la~~ owe me a life le ar~~

den the next day is 7th aug!!! me n dar's 1st month!!! kekeke.e. he gave me a bottle with stars and capsule supposedly with some strips of papers with words on it inside.. in the end.. accident happened.. he took back that bottle say pass me next time.. he gave me a box with a nice smelling little.. er.. pillow? inside. hahahaa.. kinda china.. but is nice~ coz from dar dar ma~~ den we went simei that pet safari to see see look look.. den lots of cute dogs lo.. the husky so nice~~ but the eyes very scary.. den got one very carpet looking dogging.. so furry and soft like dat lor.. very cute~~ hahahaa... after that we walk ard that east point. den came back.. preparing to go kick boxing.. in the end nv go.. haahaa.. den stayed at home.. talk.. den he use com.. den i went to watch tv.. haha. shang hai noon.. nice wor... den he came out watch with me a while.. den went into the kitchen dunno do wat.. in the end he was cutting fruits for us to eat~~ kekeke.. nice fruits.. sweetest ever.. felt so great!! like newly wed couples like dat!! hahaha.. died!!! got a sudden urge to marry him!! ops.. hahahaha

actually was some unhappy thingy ytd too.. coz i need to be back home to pray by 5pm.. den he plan actually to bring me see pets den go his hse watch initial D de.. in the end.. coz of me having to come back den spoil his plan.. sorry dar dar.. he got quite worked up.. hai.. see him like dat i oso duno wat to say.. den i suddenly tot i might loose him some day some how coz of my religion and believe.. or coz of my mum or wat ever.. my wonderful future of living with him suddenly seems so blur.. hai.. keep thinking shld i gif all out in the relationship.. coz i really scared. scared that if one day he turn to me n say.. "i cant take it anymore!! let break up!" wah!!! kill me man!! i really duno wat i will do then la~ suddenly thinking i shldnt love him so much anymore~~ but i still cant keep all my love that i've already given out.

but later the day.. he said he's at fault too.. shld be more understanding twd my life and learn to adapt to it.. Lao Gong~~ love u so so so much.. thanks for all u are doing for me and gg to do for me~ cant wait for 4 yrs later... he reassured me that we will love till eternity!! love ya boy~~

SHE DUN UNDERSTAND, SHE'S NOT UNDERSTANDING AND SHE'S NOT TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

hai.. my mum.. today i told my dad i'll be back by ard 8++ den in the end i reach home at abt 9+ den in the end.. kena black face again.. for the past few days.. she's been giving me this black face all the while.. since the day that i went tuition from 11pm till 1am.. she's so so so unhappy abt it.. den till yesterday shes still not very much talking to me.. only until last nite.. den she got talk to me a bit bit.. but today.. hai.. back to norm.. say i dun regard this home as my home. always not in at all.. wat is call i'm always at home den?? since monday till friday i've been coming back straight after sch and all.. din go out. din stay out till late nite. only ytd went out studying with ning n mark.. den today went dar's hse.. tt;s all!! is that too much?? my only 2 wkend i only want it to be days where i can do wat i want!! but den.. she juz unhappy abt it.

wat ever i do .. she''s always bu shuang.. i did the hse work.. i did do watever i can to help.. though at times i'm really lazy or tired.. but if i can.. i wil help.. but she juz dun see it.. when i have the money.. i dun ask from them.. i even will get things for them.. but she dun see it.. well.. i dunno why.. she's juz so so against me~ ever since she know tt i'm attached.. she's becoming so so weird.. i dun like this her!!! she says i dun like to come home.. so she;s giving me black face wanting me to realise that i'm at fault. isnt that funny!! i dun haf the ability to read mindS!!! moreover.. i dun see that i'm wrong!! in addition.. the more black face i get.. the more i'm unwilling to be at home.. so.. conclusion.. the vicious cycle will juz go on n on!!! juz hate it!!!

sian totally

hai.. daddy juz came in.. saying he had already took the leave on 8th aug le... SIAN TOTALLY LA... my first month with dar dar is on 7th.. the trip to msia is from 6th till 9th... OUR SUNDAY!!! gone!! sobz.. i dun wanna disappoint him.. he said he will throw away wat he made for me if i m unable to turn up.. but.. hai.. i really wanna see him i really will miss him too.. i really hope to spend my first month anniversary with her too.. i really want!!!! but.. hai.. why?? why always like dat??
sian la~~~

KILL ME!!!

4 days cant contact HIM!!!!!!! argh!!!!

KILL ME!!!

wat a wk

alot of things happened recently... really alot~

let's start with something not so pleasant. She disappoint me alot.. we treat her as our great fren. share all our sorrows and happiness with her.. trying hard to work hard together n go into uni together.. we really dun wanna see her juz give up at the very last lap.. we wanna help her.. but She juz cant see how hard we are trying to help her.. how much we are doin to help her and how much we really care for her.. She hurt her mum so so much.. She juz got so blind by all her personal thoughts that She duno how much her mum is worrying for her. She juz know that she is feeling very stressed up and vex by her own problem but She nv realise that She has hurt and disappoint so so so many ppl... She juz went missing.. juz missing... vanish in the world n no one can be able to reach her except HIM. i hate HIM. really HATE HIM. i use to have neutral feeling for HIM. treat HIM as a fren.. BUT NOW... i saw the real HIM. the selfish HIM the HIM that is always presenting a gd front ONLY! hai.. i'm realy very ANGRY at HIM.
She started my gear on the study an strive hard.. She scolded sense into us and worried for us when we are kinda off track and distracted... She pulled us all back on track. BUT NOW... She herself juz jump out of the track having a great berlin wall in between us not allowing us to even express how we feel abt it...
NOW all things have come to a conclusion.. she still MIA... sometimes i really cant stop myself to think that we are losing one great fren coz of HIM. HE bring abt all this problem. HE is the culprit of all.. if not for HIM. things wun turn out this way. is HIS fault! i will NV forgive HIM ever! NV!
( i might sound very much in my extreme mood.. but that's how i feel at this moment. i;m really very angry and disappointed. we really will accept all ur decision but think properly and pls... we are not fren becoz we are in the same sch and having the same aim and the frenship dun end with juz u leaving the sch.. but with u not wanting to contact us and trust us as ur fren anymore~)

forget abt that.. now abt my own thingy. mY parents know abt my dar dar le.. on sunday.. though i nv see much sign of approval but i oso see NO sign of denial. hahhaaha.. i love DAR DAR.. kekee... but sad to say.. our first month anniversary i have to go Msia!!!!!! i dun wanna go!!! first time lehz.. having a FIRST MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! i wanna spent it all with dar dar. juz dar dar n no one else.. but.. hai.. hope my dream can come true...
we talked alot yesterday.. and i promise him i will score AAB or at least BBC for my A level this yr n i REALLY WILL! i have the motivation now n i will strive hard to get it there! love u dar dar.. i wun leave u n pls dun leave me... even u want to.. dun leave me in silence.. do let me know abt it~~ love ya lots.. 520 184 1314 3344...

Dar dar house

hehehee... very long nv blog le hor?? hehehe.. my stupid com a bit the cannot make it le.. stupid!!!! type one letter den come out alot of letters... lazy to use that stupid com le la~~ sian..

now at dar dar's hse~ hahah!!! he now cooking spaghetti~ wow.. jing de liao chu fang chu de liao ting tang de gd dar dar nehz~~~ hehee.. lazy to type le la~~ wahahahhahaa...

hmm.. k k.. shall continue.. went east coast this morning with Pei Pei and Pei Wen... hehehehe... PP dunno how to cycle.. we manage to teach her today wor.. ahhahaa.. such an achievement.. but butt very pain ar~~ sobz.. hahahahah.... but PP very poor thing .. though she nv fell... but still got alot of scars and injuries.. poor ger~~ *sayang*

k la.. lazy to type le la.. really end here le.. hehehee.. looking fwd to more outings~~ hahahahaha

tata~~~

sweet DARLING

my sweet sweet darling~~ i LOVE u!!

hahaha.. juz 2 days ago.. wednessday that day.. was quite a busy day.. or shld i say afternoon cum evening. morning din go sch la.. overslept. so.. yup.. slept till abt 9+ den eat breakfast, watch tv a while.. den after that start doin my chem NMR. den after that did some maths.. Hypothesis testiing.. den after that do some hsE work den went for tuition at "RJC" hahhaa.. from 4 till 6+ den after that came back home. when i juz got down the bus, my hp rang, mummy called. "hey, u giving tuition today ar? how come u told me u having tuition urself?" den u was so so shock coz really din plan to have tuition that day, but my collegue change hp number den din save my number down. so she came all the way down n try if i am available for tuition as friday her child cant make it.

yup~ down for tuition again!! den half way thru my dar dar called. "hey, sorry lehz.. having tuition.. call u later at 9 k?? tuition ending at 9pm." he replied,"oh~ den see u at 9pm lor.." shock right? haha... den he really come down!!! den i shock la~~ den had to lie to my mum say go down pass thingy to my fren, den meet him.. kekee... *guilty* lolx.

Xin Fu Shi Shen Me

hmm... i'm attached. ya.. attached after 2 yrs. with him. on the 7th of july 2005.

he is someone i got to know online. not very safe i know. but he is a gd guy as far as i know. he treat he ex so so well that i'm actually quite jealous. when his ex got sick. demanded that he have to go down to cook for him, he did it. straight after work, from tuas to bedok juz to cook dinner for her. when he is juz 10 min late, his gf shouted at him threw all the temper and all yet he still coax her till she ate sth and all.. scold him and all. den hai.. alot la..

he treats me well.. but he working as a navy have to go back to camp for wkdays and only wkends are available. so kinda busy and din really have much time for me. alright la.. is a blessing in disguise i guess.. coz only den i can concentrate on my study.

miss him. today he nv msg me. coz he forgot to pay his hp bills den in the end singtel cut off his line. sobz.. den only saw one msg of his today. saying abt this using his fren's hp. tt's all.. hai... dunno muz wait till when den will receive his msg le..

LONG DREADFUL DAY

hai.. today.. long long day..

6.20 am woke up..
painfully drag my body out of the bed. wonderful soft bed. den went to wash up and got myself my breakfast. so so long nv wake up so so early le.. really cant get use to it... first period is CLA 2. din really complete my work.. but able to discuss and all lor~ den the test still can do.. so still alright~ after that comes maths.. got kinda lost coz din noe abt the new tutorial we've got. gd thing that simon has it and helped me photocopy it. THANKS. den follow up next is chemistry. wow.. ms S juz comes in BOMB the class! complaining we are not being initiative enough to get the ans for tutorial abt grp II elements and all saying that she wondering how we can take our chem CT today. scolding us abt our attitude. and heard that she even scolded the class yesterday for the electrochem test not doin it well. sobz. scared le~

up next. is ... hmm.. BREAK~ wonderful part of the day. finally can let my brain, eyes, hands, wateva have a gd gd rest~~ wow.. but yet.. alright la~~ did some resting some hw and all.. den times UP! sianded. went in for maths LECTURE~ coz i had my notes copied last yr. so din have to copy any stuff. in the end got so so slpy in lecture that i doze of in a way that the lecturer can see.. coz i din mean to slp lor~~ den she walked up to me to check my books and all.. realising i m a repeat student. den saying that i shld be listening not slping. though she is nice in a way coz she nv reprimand me in front of the lecutre hall and din really scold me. but got me a real big SHOCK. ya.. den kinda woke up a bit.. but still slpy. den she continued her lecture.. den suddenly i heard she say that our prelim is in 10 WKS time~~~ I GOT THE SHOCK OUT OF MY LIFE!!! time really FLIES~~ sobz.. not much time left for my a level preparation le~~~

den after that is another long break coz i din take GSC. yap. completed my CLA hw.. den did some studying on chem test. den slack ard for a while. den start our CLA 1 lesson. wow.. i was kinda bad.. coz juz couldnt get my eyes to open. TRIED real hard... but failed~ felt bad. but gd thing the teacher is real gd. din really scold me or wat for that.. she really very motherly and understands us best~ come to think of it.. our sch chi teachers are the BEST~~

after that got GP. din really know wat they doin today. dry and boring stuff again. ya.. den did my CLA1 hw there. den complete studying my chem test there too.. yeah~ great~ den joke ard den gone for PE. hai.. always fail my NAFA. den haf to redo and redo. training and more training. sian lehz. but come to think of it. can jian fei oso not bad la~ hahaha.. ya...

den CHEM TEST~~~ wow.. 1 pc of paper with 5 questions. all need to have like quite long ans lor~~ den write and write and write. din even have much time to really think deeply.. hope i dun get the ans too off. den cant even think abt the last question. the calculation part juz see le anyhow hamtum in numbers and get watever values i can first. sobz.. forgot the equations and stuff. wasted quite alot of marks.. saded...

ya.. 6.30pm and we are dismissed.. TIRED~~

first day working as SALES

today is my first day working as sales...

first thing in the morning~~ ALMOST late~~ kinda bad la.. first day den like dat.. but who knows.. my two other fren living nearer to tamp than me got there even later.. best right? but luckily they din go without us la~yeah... started off feeling so much so those hated sales gg from door to door.. coz me myself oso din really like to entertain those door to door sales ppl lor~ but quite excited to be challenged to be a sales la... so got quite crazy at the start.. think quite AA too la~~

den we moved on to get our t shirt n got our tag.. we changed and met back at tamp mrt station. yup.. after that we moved on to those nearby block which are mansionate(hope din spell wrongly) den we start our first meeting at the void deck at block 148. ya.. den we were splitted into 2 groups.. dunno why.. i got to be one of the group leader la~ ya.. hahahha.. *blur* den one very gd n funny thingy.. our grp is the "Girls' Sch Group" all of us were from gers sec sch de.. haha.. so click on real well n fast~

starting we really go door to door.. knock on everyone asking everyone...den met with different kind of ppl...target is to get 2 toothpaste sold off by one hour.. which we have to sell 8 per day actually.. but in the end... quite bad la~~ after one whole hour.. we still made no sales as yet.. which is BAD!!! but we actually met with alot of weird n funny ppl... hahaha.. there is one auntie.. very funny la~~ she answered us when we asked is there anyone in.. den her reply was..." No~~ no one at home~~" wow.. GHOST ar~ ghost answered lehz.. in the daylight wor~~ funny right? den after that.. got our grp the two gers got to sold 2.. after like i think 2 hours i guess.. but we got none out la~~ maybe too inexperience n not thick skin enough ba~

after that got back for meeting again~~ our grp got the best result~~ coz of the two gers.. *claps* den they got to share their experience.. den we moved on to start out work again.. this time~ we change our grouping lor~~ ning, daph n jiaying(best promoter of the day) one grp... sheree and i another grp. den we moved on~

second part of the sales.. we got to realise.. christians and eng educated ppl are more willing to listen to us.. and UNCLES they are so GOOD~~~ they listened and really gave us hopes n chances la~~ yup~~ a few of them ALMOST wanted to buy lor~~ but in the end.. their WIVES!!! argh!! really zui du fu ren xin~~ (opps.. think i m female too.. ops... a bit too exaggerating) but really la~ if not of them ar~~ think those uncles will buy from us lor~~ they got the thingy.. ask wife.. den the auntie will come out.. dun want la dun want la!! sorry la!!

den we tot mansionate ppl are hard to persuade hence moving on to flat.. hai.. worst~~ we walked the whole flat only like 2 to 3 listened to us.. den quite demoralising.. moving on to the other block~ WOW~ love the 6th floor uncle~~ he got it from us!!! wahhahahaa.. so happy... my first toothpaste sold!!! really hard earned money sia~~~ though alot of funny ppl.. weird things that we've encounted.. a day of real experience learning alot more abt the world.. abt the reality.. abt the society.. that we din use to know.. a great eye opener~

after that last debriefing.. the pros (those in the job quite some time de seniors) ACTUALLY SOLD 4 juz from one block lor~~ win le right? hai... jia you~~~ we can make it beta the next time!!!

PS: now i learn to appreciate different jobs n has less dislike for sales ppl le~~ really pity them for getting into the job but.. i think all i will is to listen to them but still doubt will buy anything from them la~~

concert nite

Saturday :

Sushi making day. woke up quite late la.. den after lunch start making my sUSHI~~ kekeke... the rice was kinda too sticky le.. coz put too much water when i cook the rice.. den after that put some salt , sugar n vinegar~~ kekeke.. den start wrapping.. was fast n gd la.. juz that starting one or two my mum say too er.. loose? ya.. den not firm enough.. planned to make only 10 la.. but in the end.. made 18 i think.. i mean rolls~~ each roll can cut out 8 sushi pieces.. so.. can imagine how much i've made!

after that ning came my hse..coz i asked her to come over.. kekek.. coz i wanna go her hse borrow shoes ma.. keke.. concert muz wear formal a bit.. got clothing no shoes.. so.. yup... wore a pink top inside with a black long sleeve top out. den a pink base strip skirt. den got a pair of black heels from ning. ya.. very formal n lady like wor.. first time ever. but suffered alot lor...

suppose to reach the concert by 7pm.. tot it was 7.30.. den late lor.. saded. got ning to go with me.. kekeke.. den i went concert n she went shopping till the concert ends at abt 9+. den go meet her again... kinda road idiot la.. from esplanade to suntec.. half an hour plus den reach. hahhaa.. went wrong way... den wanted to eat ice kachang till ard 1030 den go de.. coz very tired and legs aching ma.. but the food court closing down ar.. den pai seh to stay too long.. den walk slowly back lor.. promise ning that will go home with her den go home from there.. indeed i did it.. n reach home juz b4 12midnite.. like cinderalla like dat. hahhaa..

tiring day~~~

wow...

SO SO SO LONG NV BLOG LE~~
kekeke.. alot of things happened la.. my blog change a bit..the MOO MOO... my niece come my hse stay... learn to wrap the rice dumpling... the relative OUTING~~ sentosa outing~~ oh man~ alot wor...

hahah.. too much le.. shall say a bit here n there...
sentosa one was cool~~ went all ard sentosa for treasure hunt.. so tired.. den wei ren kor kor treat us drink at subway... den teach us psycho stuff... hahaha.. make me wanna learn psychology too.. you sheng oso haf the same mentality as me~~ kekeke... after that play water game~~ WAH SO MALU everyone look at us see duno wat we doin... hahhaa.. eyes so pain!!! den after that play monkey in the water!! wahha.. FUN!!! kekeke.. y?? coz got ppl like bernard to do stupid stuff to enertain us.. den ya ming there playing along.. den still got this couple for us to suan... den we are at the water end.. the ball come we will juz smash into the water! wow.. COOL~~~ great day!

next... dumpling day~~ i made 11!!! kekeke.. coz mummy scared my standard not gd enough den dun let me continue... in the end!!! ONLY 1 IS SPOILT!!! the rest very nice k!!! den ar... only one not very nice lehz.. mummy dun cut that one coz she scared cannot differentiate mine n hers!!! see!! got standard k?? den dunno i crazy or wat.. that day VERY guai lor.. do all the household chores till almost died!!!

last~ the RELATIVE OUTING... with jing yi (niece) and cai wei (cousin). CW so chio lor.. where till so ger!! den ar.. catch alot of attention~ scary!! den that crazy JY keep singing xio ba chang ( hot meat dumpling in hokkien). madness.. den dunno wat's gone into her.. keep singing oldies n all.. crazy la!! den after that went to orchard!! boring place actually.. den we went quite early.. dun haf much ppl. went to heeren to take NEOPRINTS~ hahaha.. took 2 wor.. ex hor!! but JY paid first la.. she rich ma!! ahhahaha.... den so fun!! that CW care so much abt her xing xiang... take the neoprint almost all same pose!! kekeke.... alot of close up pix. nice!! but the whole body one NOT NICE!! can see my FATS!! sobz.. wahhahahaha....

STUPID MP3

hai.. this stupid mp3 is so so troublesome.. i'll nv get any brandless or lousy brand stuff ever sia... stupid lor. n is really not cheap la.. 150 bucks lehz.. okay la.. not i buy de la.. my sis got it for me,.. oh.. ya.. haven say why.

this stupid mp3 which is branded as SYNERGY is lousy la.. is like that time she got it for me.. after less den 2 months.. the stupid thingy dunno why.. when i listen one side got sound one side no sound.. tot is my ear piece.. but change le still same.. nvm.. den i go find the shop to see if they can help me service it.. den ar.. went down to orchard cant find that stupid midpt orchard... in the end.. think walk for abt half an hour den found it.. still haf to ask ard den know.. ulu area!!! den that person say help me send for service.. for one whole wk i dun haf a mp3!! so tong ku le lor....

this morning i got his phone calll. telling me that i can go get a new mp3 , they will to change one for me.. when i reach there they say coz the person request for 50bucks to service it for me.. so they decided to give me a new one instead.. den ar!! that new one is worst la!! can even use lor.. is like dunno the batt part too loose or wat lor.. sian lehz.. really cmi lor!!! den now.. look at it make me angry!! PEK CHEK AR!!!!

after mid yr...

MID YR IS OVER!! but i only happy for 3 days... now.. stress again. hai...

chem i din do really well.. though did beta den previously in sch la.... but think at most i can only pass la.. not even a D?? hai.. my aim? GONE!! sobz.. hope aiming for a C in prelim is not a dream.
den for maths.. dun haf much hope too.. paper 1 almost half cannot do.. p2 only can do stats. ya.. so.. equally bad.. only hoping for a E too.. ya... sobz... as for CLA... not known yet.. teacher haven review anything yet.. not for today la.. i nv go sch.. so dunno. hahaha.. ops.. why? coz.. coz.. too tired le la.. need some rest. today all lecture.. rather not go sch.. PL again!! haha... as for gp... dunno la.. under that teacher i oso dun think i can do well la.. with her.. hai.. so bored so dunno la. juz think she cant teach la.. compare to KT last yr.. though fierce but really gd lor.. hai.. now only listen to more grandma stories everyday.. getting so so bored!

anyway.. after mid yr is my best time.. for 3 days.. but now.. back to suffering.. back to hell..

hai.. my mp3!! when can it come back to me.. so bored without it!! argh!! i want my mp3!!!

yeah!! out whole day!!

today went out almost whole day.. busy day!

morning 10.30am.. tuition starts.. suppose to be at 10am.. but my student came late. so started later. den ends at 11.45.. coz her mum came earlier.. den i got sth on at 1pm too.. so release her earlier.

den rush down to hougang sports complex at 12.30.. luckily reach there at 1245pm.. coz told HN to reach earlier.. told her meet at 1245 but in the end.. she rush from tuition oso.. den late. while waiting saw a sr band senior jun long. ya.. den.. lucky thingy is that the free trail today for the body sculpt started late. den funny thing is only 2 of us went!! mad lor.. den the yoga class ppl some joined us.. coz is free ma.. juz went lor.. den pathetic 5 of us. starting is some warm up with aerobics steps.. den after that had some work outs with dump bells. wah!! can die!! keeping the arms in the air with the weight almost killed me! kekee... den after tat did some leg stuff.. tiring! den is some ab stuff.. that one.. oso quite tiring. keke.. overall is tiring la. but fun! now arms n legs very suan!

den after that ard 2.45 came back home. bath. den go for tuition at 4+ suppose to be ar 4. den we postpone to 4.15 but still late.. keke.. 4.20 den reach.. today we gone crazy in tuition. out of control. den ryan looks so troubled. coz dunno how to stop us! ahhaha. who ask him use wrong eg. kekee..

den after tuition went orchard! abt 7.30 pm like dat.on the way to kovan mrt... btw.. we walked la.. coz HN's bus fare ex ma.. den on the way.. saw benji(sr ex councillor) den saw andy n his gf, ya.. den took train down to orchard. keke.. so long haven been there le.. actually go there to get my mp3 repaired la. den it;s at midpt orchard. dunno where it is.. look high n low walk from orchard to somerset to orchard pt to meradians to orchard pt again den to UOB bank area den saw the word midpt orchard!! madness lor.. so tiring n hot! humid actually.

after which we go HMV. i mean heerens la. outside there say chong beng( sr vball de.. i dunno him la.. S n HN's fren) den walk ard.. saw marcus n his gang when S bought us ICE CREAM! kekek.... den S wanted to get a top coz very hot. den went up.. saw phyllis.. cedar band senior.. den saw MH!! keke.. long time no see le! kekeke.. den after that nth to do.. so went PS. S's boy there la.. keke.. den HN got to buy "sth" lor.. so waited for her. after which we went take neoprints!! KEKE.. nice wor.. hope can upload to frenster den ppl can see our cute chio face! kekee... (bhb) ... after which i go home le.. is ard 10.15 ba.. din noe we were out that long till shelia told me is 9.45 le. haha..

on the way back saw alan xu n pei shan on the train. they went out with their sec sch gang. keke...

dropped at SK. den reach home sharp at 11! hahhaa.. not over the curfew timing. keke...
had a great day today. miss all my frenz! great time walking ard being mad talking abt all sorts of rusbbish coming out with all sorts of crazy ideas. den acting here n there. singing too. haha.. so happy!!!

TML LAST PAPER!!!

hahaa... wat a big contrast from the previous one.. yes! tml is last paper.. shld say half of a paper!! kekek.. coz only maths paper 2~~ n is in the afternoon!! ahhaha.. can slp till i shuang! hahaha.. den after that can enjoy! no la.... go tuition.. kekeke.. coz student's mid yr coming.. haha.. nice one right? right after my paper.. heng ar..

so.. let;s see..my plan for friday!! ahhaha.. wahhahaha.. wanna go watch movie lehz.. but now ar.. increase by a dollar again lehz!! scary right? siao liao la.. stupid cinema.. dun wanna survive liao is it?? like dat ppl all go buy vcd beta right? go watch movie for wat? bu hua sia....

yeah.. den wanna go repair my mp3!! sian lehz.. only like 2 months old?? den got problem liao.. hai... saded!! xin tong!!!!

yeah!! cant wait sia... wonder how would i turn out to be after a level this yr.. after all the hardwork not like last yr.. hahahahhahaaaa....... cant imagine! hahahah cant wait!!!

TML MID YEAR!!! NO CONFIDENT!!!

hai.. tml is mid yr le.. first paper is maths.. now still studying.. till i pek chek... i mean.. i study till very frustrated.. hai.. so many things forgot so many things dunno.. so many things cant do... how how.. hai... scared lor.. moreover tml there is chem paper 3 too lor.. that one though not as scary.. yet.. nv really study like dat.. juz do excercise only.. maths. maths.,. maths.. how???

mathematical induction cant do... integration not gd... AP GP can die... trigo not very stable.. wah!!! die le la.... how?? depend on 2nd paper?? dunno can of not.. hai.. SAVE ME!!!!

BABY!!!

rui qing jie jie give birth le!! baby ger!! today(6th May) at ard 11++am. keke... was so so excited.. wanted to go see baby today.. but mummy say ppl who are first time mummy will feel very tired n very painful de.. no energy to talk to us. go see le oso no use. not as if we are her immediate relatives... ya.. so nv go lor.. hai.. wanna see her n her baby!!!!

after so long...

hey you!! hahahaa.. this wk is study leave.. but i'm like so so busy...

tuesday morning got tuition... learnt chem eqm n electrolysis.. den after that came back home do some hw n stuff.. slp.. den at nite go tuition for little kid call angelyn. cute la.. playful. hard to control. think too nice to her le... lazy ger... but quite smart n chatty la.. challenging one. den she got a younger bro.. so cute! hahaa.. pull me here n there play with him. den after our tuition... he actually dun wanna me to go home! hahaa.. stop me at the door. kekee.. cute! love him! hahahaa...

den wednesday.. went for tuition with her again.. why? spelling learn whole nite oso cant finish. hai... almost vomit blood.. complain here n there.. so haf to go there to teach her spelling again.. this time round. got some in her head. but still dun wanna study... called her mum when she got 5 in her head.. claming that she will pass le.. dun need to study le.. so.. her mum oso no choice.. so ask her to learn her chi spelling... same outcome..

after that got a last min tuition with ryan. he taught us maths this time.. dicrete random variable.. not that diff yet.. so.. still alright.. den... came back hm with shelia.. she studied at my hse.. i din study la.. qutie tired.. den do my hse work.. den cook dinner.. den J came to go dinner with her.. ya..

thursday which is today.. went to angelyn hse again.. tuition again,.. ya...chi spelling lor.. den she kena mummy beat. y? reluctant to learn her spelling la.. felt quite useless there.. din manage to help much... in the end she still got finish learning her spelling la.. but is becoz her mum was there n force her to learn. hai.. useless me.. later gg her hse again... this time.. is her elder sis.. felt more sense of achievement to teach her.. more willing to learn n all.. more mature too... gg there soon!

btw.. my last chem test was great!!! hahahaa.. i got an A!!!! oh man! first time seeing an A in my chem result! ahhaa.. but is thermochem..so no big deal actually... ya.. but still happy la! kekekee.... jia you!!!

yeah!

hehehee.. today got back cla paper.. hai.. can be happy can be sad.. coz i got second this time!! haha.. something to be proud abt coz got improvement since the 3rd the last time. but den.. only HALF a mark to be the top!!! oh man... i want that book! though dunno wat bk.. but i wanna read n see if it is a nice bk anot lehz.. sobz...

anyway, got back my chem last wk.. wasnt that great.. got an AO.. but is quite an achievement that i still can get an AO.. coz normally is a F. but i still home that i can do beta the next time.. on thermochem.. i m aiming for a C. hope i can la..

tml is maths test.. dunno how many question.. but i hope can at least pass this test.. think shldnt be that difficult..

rather tired today.. slpin early today ba.. but hard to slp lehz.. yesterday went swimming with ning ning.. at the most perfect timing.. 12PM to 2 PM. hahaa.. tot no one will be crazy like us to go swimming at that hour.. but was quite wrong.. coz they only go after 1pm.. den ya.. got sun burnt!! n is very painful now!! oh man!!

back to sch

hey bloggy.. so long nv put in any entry le.. wow.. very long le.. back to sch le.. first chi test was very impromptoo. ya.. luckily still manage to score alright.. 3rd in class tog with another ger. den chem test over too.. that wasnt very gd one.. but at least i can do them.. haha.. though not all.. but i think beta den b4 la.. hahaa... yeah... back to sch wasnt a bad thing. i get to know the importance of study, the joy that i receive when i really studied.. great study grp where we discuss n excel together... real great experience... ya..

pass few days fell sick. had fever since thursday but only got to see doctor yesterday. slept at home whole day din really do much work.. kinda guilty for that.. den today suppose to go test.. chi test.. but my fever was still there.. n the weather not so gd.. dun dare to go sch. after that took my med.. feeling beta.. den went for tuition.. sobz.. a few more marks to my test n i can haf 15bucks off.. muz try harder the next time.. muz build up my speed. yeah!!! made some stupid mistake too.. ya.. after that suppose to haf a tuition with a p6 ger.. but her mum wasnt free.. so she din make it here today.. den make the rest of my day quite free.. gd weather.. so SLP again!! hahaa... din get to do anything again.. sobz.. *guilty*

i promise.. will do sth at least tonite if not by tml muz finish my maths work!! jia you!!!

Shelia's Bday!

yeah!! sunday is shelia's bday..hahaa... had a hard time but.. no fun la.. she knew sth is up lor.. but i actually saw tears in her eyes. haha. dunno is fake one or wat.. or juz that she yawned?? hmm.. anyway.. ya.. here it goes...

on friday.. i contacted huining n asked her abt everything. den decided to add adeline into our present shareholder.. hahaa... den we din haf enuff money..*poor la..* got shelia's mum for help. we got her to helped us make a cake for her bday. den we bought her a cushion with tasmania on it.. haha. that;s very very cute!! coz it's leg is 3D!! hahaa. pink cushion.. den got her a pair of dangling earrings. hehee.. her first dangling earrings i believe. den got a box of rochale?? dunno how to spell la.. some chocolate la huh? yup! den we discussed and got to a conclusion on saturday nite. ya!

sunday morning i asked ning where n when to meet. she juz told me 12pm. nth else.. i was like.. dotx.. 12pm meet where.. den she say anywhere u decide.. den it was 11plus le lor.. den i asked 1pm can or not.. she juz say okay.. den asked her where she say i decide le den tell her,... machiam as if i noe wat time she meeting shelia's mum and whether we can go her mum's hse anot. cox everything is she discussed with her mum not me!! den i realise she still slpin. so juz heck her n say 1.15pm at CP. in the end.. i was late. hahaha.. why? got to help my mum dye hair. cook lunch. eat lunch. make my mum happy a bit den can go out!! hahaha...yup.

den here we reach CP. den she told me she dunno where to stop when we were abt to take LRT. win liao right? hahaa.. den called her mum n asked her of course. haha... her mum sound so kan jiong so nervous. cant blame her.. she very nice lehz.. woke up early in the morning 6am tried to make the cake that shelia wants.. (oreo cheese cake) den failed... made another one at 8am. den rush out with her husband to bedok... den rush back to meet us juz to get us back to the hse and got shelia back home. GREAT MUM right? ya.. when we reach her hse.. it;s abt 2+pm. meeting shelia at 2.30pm. we intend to gif her a surprise. so we actually told her that we cant celebrate for her on her bday coz of this n that earlier. den got to her hse n hide!! hahaa.. hide in her bro's rm. hahaa..

(details n more details) in the end.. everything out. hahaa.. hope she is happy la huh? she said her mum n jeremy's acting skills cannot make it. so she actually got to know there muz be sth gg on. haha.. den she n Ning got to eat almost half of the cake. i cant eat la.. so din touch. only eat oreo. hahaa... yeah!! den after that shelia n her boy went to her boy's relative's hse. den too early for ning n me to go back. so went out. decided to go bugis!! hahaa.. yeah!!

at bugis.. ahhaa.. we decided to play ard, wear those clothes either we cant afford or we will nv get to buy or nv will wanna buy de.. hahaa... so.. we went to dorothy perkins. hahaa.. tried 2 spag top and a long sleeve black top, 2 bottom which are a bit 3 quart type de. yeah!! to my surprise. one of the spag top actually look quite nice on me lehz.. can u imagine a fat pig wearing spag and yet it dun look disgusting? i cant but really looks alright. den the black long sleeve top is NICE!!! 19.90!! wanna get lehz.. hahaa.. next wk!! hahahaa... den went on to another dunno where la.. tried tube top! hahaa.. told u.. those we will nv buy or wear kinda clothes. hahaa.. alright la.. not that great. ya.. den went to S n K... like on of the top. but to wear that need to get a spag for the inside de... quite ex lehz.. spag is ard 12 or 14? the top is 25!!! total??? OH MY GOD!! hahaa.. so juz wear for fun la.. hahaa.. anyway i dun really look nice in that la.. hahaha.. yup!

went on to see ard.. din intend to get anything la.. but in the end.. we both bought a pair of earrings each!! 2.50 only. hahaha.. pink colour for me n blue for ning!! nice nice wor!! hahahaa.. yeah.. intending to go back there next wk. get my black top yeah!! den need to study!! oh! btw.. my first tuition was great!! learn alot of stuff!! COOL!!!

seems like...

seems like this dun support chi.. sobz.. my compo cant be read by anyone... hahaa..

My compo

here i wrote sth in chinese. a compo la.. my feeling too.. ya... hope can share with u bloggy...

<< 我的未来在哪? >>

“嘀嘀答答…” 雨点一滴一滴地落下。早上那晴朗的天空已不知何去何从。 秒针嘀答嘀答的走着，我早上那仅有的笑容也随着那声响，一点一滴的消失。心越沉越低，似乎已落入千谷深渊中了。再过半个小时，我便会来到我人生的另一个十字路口。这是一个不完全能由自己选择去路的十字路口。心中的一切彷徨与无助是谁也无法给予任何帮助的。

此时此刻的我正朝着学院的方向走去。坐在那巴士上，望着窗外的街道，不知何故都好象被蒙上一层暗淡的色彩。虽然我非常清楚我正朝着学院方向走去，但对自己未来的道路，却像只迷途羔羊般迷糊。在那朦胧细雨中，我似乎看见了自己的未来，看见不久后将发生的事。。。

慢慢地，我拖着那沉重的脚步，一步一步，有点失去平衡般的踏入了校门口。应该是因为天气的缘故吧，整个世界变得昏昏暗暗的。荫风阵阵吹过。那寒风吹进了我心头里去了。我打了个寒颤。我停下了脚步，总觉得有种不祥的预感。是我多心了吗？

来到了礼堂，大家都聚集在那兒，气氛是十分的紧张。校长滔滔不绝地说了很多。她在台上分析了很多对我们来说都已毫无意义的一堆资料。校长说了很久。看着她那一张一合的嘴，却听不到任何的声音。是我聋了吗？我似乎已开始封闭自己，将自己锁在只有自己的世界里。对于这次的考试，我是一点信心也没有。 我不期望自己能考得多好，但至少也该及格吧。站在最后的我，一直装着看得很开的样子，与大家说说笑笑的。

终于轮到我了。上前拿了一堆没用的书刊，纸张。老师分完后，又拖拖拉拉的交代这儿，交代那儿，才将成绩单递给我。我不敢看，没勇气去看。拿了便放进书包里，离开了礼堂。走到全校人烟最稀少的地方。我慢动作的掀开了成绩单。天啊！我。。。我居然只有一科是及格的，而且也只是刚刚及格罢了。我一生学习的生涯中，从未失败过。这是地一次。我看傻了，只能呆呆的望着那张如同废纸般的文凭。这时的我，脑袋一片空白。我真的不知该如何是好。我的未来要如何走下去？我现在因该想些什么？该做何打算？该如何面对父母对我的期盼？ 该如以失败者的身份去面对着世界？不知道，真的什么都不知道。

此时眼前一片朦胧。泪水不断涌出，像瀑布般的怎么也控制不了的。我现在只想静静地从这世上消失。只要离开这里，所有的‘不知道’，所有的‘怎么办’，也都会随着消失。从此再也没有所谓的不安，没有社会所带来的压力，没有人们所给予的眼光。哈！那是多么棒的事啊！

不知何时，也不知怎么的，我来到一座组屋的顶楼。看着无边无际的天空，多美好啊！顿时感到一种前所未有的平静，似乎来到天堂似的，好舒服，好舒服。这正是我想要的感觉，想要的世界。我来了！

“紫婷！下车了！还发什么呆啊？”







星心

First Major Setback

Why do I only update my blog now? after 8 days since my birthday? Because I was in depression mood for qutie sometime after i took my result on 4th of march. I've always been a ger whereby i dun haf to study much... dun haf to be very hardworking n yet i can continue my study by luck or wat so ever. manage to get by all my examinations and reach till jc level. 4th of march mark a special day in my life. i got my a level result then.. as my my title goes... it was indeed my first major setbacks.

i always potray a strong front. cheerful, optimistic and every positive words u can find. but 4th march is the day when i m totally lost. lost in the world, lost in my world, lost in lalaa land. i've got to see my result. yes! i failed! i've got O O E and a C6 for my result. E is my grade for my CLA. that was really a shock! i actually tot i might get a C or even a B. but yet.. an E was shown. the other 2 was more or less expected as i really din put in much effort then.. played too much, too much involvement in any other activities other than studies. till around august or so.. i was lost. totally lost in the world of book, in the world of study. i din noe wat to do then, din haf enuff courage to face the fact that i m really laggin way behind others. having too much of self confidence thinking that i did it in the past, i will be able to do it again now! but i couldn't. JC life is very much different from secondary sch. it is only now then i realise JC students are a bunch of elites in singapore, all study very hard very well. it's very different from o level where the standards really varies alot!

with this setback, i think i do grow up a little. i got to know the importance of studying, i know the importance of every single things that we haf to do in schools. i know how to prioritise my time. i got to know the feeling of FAILURE. if not because of this setback, i will nv wake up, nv will i able to noe that there is indeed a limit to my cleverness. i was actually juz over confident of myself.

O O E C6 is really not a cert that i will want to see. here is my aim, my target!

mid yr : D D D C6

prelim: C C B C5

A level: B A B B4

(first column in chem, second is maths C , third ClA and lastly is Gp.)

i will further update my results n see if i meet all my target. i want to excel! i want to get at least an A for my A level. Hope that this will be a realistic goal for my studies now on. All the best!

My bdaY part 2!!!

yup... den all the while was waiting for huining n marc n shelia to msg me, call me or meet me today.. but they din.. i expected it actually.. coz we did all this to ning too.. haha.. so.. waiting n waiting.. den after work... i tot qluite normal still.. den i tot they will come up to my hse.. so i waited n waited.. even told my mum they might come up. hahaa.. den here comes 8pm.. way after their knock off hour.. den waited again... haha.. but sth weird is.. wai ling called!! she called me when i was in the bus.. she said she need to borrow my sec 4 yr book from me.. coz she bet with her fren 1o bucks saying that there is joycelynn tay in tha yr book.. den she say she need to borrow from me.. den i shock la.. so juz say okay lor.. den she say she'll call me back later.. saying she outside now.. when she get back den she call me to get it from me.. by then i was suspecting that she was part of the plan. but really din expect her to be in it la.. so.. still wondering..

ya. back to the waitin part.. till 8.35pm.. wai ling called... she said.. hey.. i on the way home.. er.. need to meet my fren at 9pm at hougang mall.. but need to go home n change first.. so will call u after i reach home k?? den i was like..orh.. okay lor.. den 8.45pm.. hey!! i rush down to ur hse le!! come down k?? den i oso say alright lor.. den i went down.. carrying the yr bk. saw my neighbour at the lift.. she said:" gg out ar?? gg downstairs only is it?? ur fren down there waiting for u right?? down there le.. right at the lift there only!!" haha.. den i was like.. er.. really is them ar? haha.. den reach the void deck.. only saw wai ling.. tot hui ning really forgot EVERYTHING!! den... passed her the bk.. asked her how she gg HM.. she say other den 101 n 161 wat bus can i take ar? den i say 325.. but will take VERY long leh.. den she was like.. i need to buy lolly pop lehz.. where can i find heart shape lolly pop ar?? den she said she actually was trying to fake say wanna go HM meet his boyfriend. den she say she very late le.. only got 1 bucks to go to HM.. den i say like dat u can go. but cant come back le.. den she say he can send her back... as she say all this.. she walk n walk to the econ area.. den when she say he can send me back ma.. we were at a turning pt lor.. den suddenly i heard ppl singing bday song!! haha.. it was marc, ning, adeline n marc's bro. hahaa.. i shock lor.. almost cried!! hahaa.. had a great surprise bday today!! a very gd one!!

after that we were talking there.. they wanted to smash the cake on my face asking me to get the candle out of it wat so ever.. den marc tried.. haha. failed la!! hahaa. coz din really get it on my face.. only a little ard my mouth! haha... he tried the second time n i manage to escape that too!! hhahhaa.. lucky!! den after that they den told me they plan this very long le.. hahahaa.. juz yesterday if i m not wrong.. chatted with marc online.. den he told me he lost his yr book n such.. den i luffed at him saying i will NV loose my cedar yr book de.. then he luffed!!? i was like.. huh? why he luff? but heck him.. den today den i noe that it is to confirm that i sure to haf my cedar yr book so that wai ling can try get it from me n their plan can work! dotx lor.. but really touched upon hearing that.. din noe that they planned it so long ago!! HAPPY!!

yeah!! den chatted at the void deck from 9 till 11!! haha.. den get to noe that ade actually lost her way here.. walked a long way!! LOVE YA!! *muackz* marc actually sacrifice alot.. coz he din do his hw.. din complete his work which suppose to hand in today n all.. yet he came for the celebration!! touched!! marc!! LOVE YA!! *muackz* den huining rushed down to get my pressie from work n took cab down to my hse when she actually qutie broke!! darling!! LOVE YA!! *muackz* n wai ling.. actually think so much n had a great plan in getting me into a surprise celebration!! LOVE YA !! *muackz* -huggies all!!- really had a great day today!! had fun! had shock! had tears! had laughter! had great memories! best bday ever!!! love all!! love shelia too... though she nv turn up.. i noe she muz haf sth on tt;s y cant make it de.. i noe she wanted to come de.. love u shelia!! *muackz*

PS: thanks all n everyone who had made my bday this yr a special one. i will remember everyone of u!! THANKS!!

MY BDAY!!! part 1

today is MY BDAY!! alot ppl shld noe le la!! hahaa.. ya... so.. it did start VERY well... all started since 12am.

first of all ppl... joanna msg me n wish me happy bday!! i was so so touched!! she actually remembered n say got thingy for me!!! hahaa.. anyway.. ya.. happy n touched!! den up next is xiuhui wishing me happy bday thru msn.. think she come first b4 joanna.. forgot la.. haha.. sth like dat la.. den is my dearest niece jingyi.. wished me happy bday thru msn n msg too!! haha.. den you sheng.. hahaa.. kena me forced de.. hahaha.. wish me happy bday thru msn too.. haha.How dare him!! FORGOT MY BDAY!! sobz.. haha.a nvm la.. i nv expect him to remember either.. kekee... den one after another.. all msg me to wish me happy bday.. i shall list them.. kekee...

joanna, jing yi, lawrence, hong an, jialing, pei yun, letchimy, shawn, zhen hui,shelia, gracia, mei hui, ramzi, wan ping(called), wen yao, guijin (called),Gor (yaoming), tian ying(mei!), hakim, xiu hui, lizhu, li lian, rui qing, cai wei, arif, james,rong si. ( think that;s abt all.. shldn't haf missed out anyone la.. shldn't de..)

den.. first thing in the morning today!! my dad wished my happy bday!!! ahhaha.. so happy!!! den went to work.. overslept la.. den quite tired too.. so.. yeah.. hahaa. tired!! den my collegue helen wished my happy bday in the morning n gave me a cup for pressie. my "mummy" aka sapiah hugged me!! hahaa.. wished me happy bday too.. haha.. sally spread the news of my bday la.. den all wished me happy bday namely azizzah, diana, kala, adeline, mariam. yeah!! den.. after that worked whole day.. den finally time to go home!! haha..

we missed the first double deck!! den in the end squeezed in the single deck bus.. so so tired!! leg pain.. sally got a sit.. which is in front of the tv mobile... suddenly she turn n say.. is really on FRIDAY lehz.. wat is it? A LEVEL RESULT!!! sux!! i was like? HUH? where wat?? den she told me she saw it on the runnin script under the news de.. den i stare hard at it.. it repeated for 3 times!! but i din see that line.. den i told her is her illusion la!! den as i abt to gif up.. that line appeared!! " Singapore GCE A level result will release on friday, 4th of march at 2.30pm!! OH MAN!!! my heart juz sank lor.. i almost break down on the way home... den actually wanna go compass to withdraw money n such. den nv la.. den after that actually gg to meet my junior at compass too.. but nv oso.. coz she will be reaching quite late.. den i need to rush home. she stay quite near my hse too.. so she come to my hse there to pass me,... ya.. suddenly really no mood to do anything.. was very hungry.. but upon hearing the news.. juz felt so so full suddenly. den we went home.. ya.. reach home very sad!! duno wat to do.. juz wanna cry. dunno for wat to. dun even noe why i m so so affect by the news.. not even my result lor.. only the day of collecting.. den i rush into the toilet.. i cried!! let out all my tears, all my fears... really dunno wat i will do if i cant make it to Uni... den back to normal me again.. so.. pei yun( my junior ) called. so went down n get the pressie they had for me.. it is a note bk!! nice one!! with a post card!! haha.. hong an, arif(shock to see his name. din expect him to write anything down!) n of course pei yun wrote their wishes to me!!! she was very tired i can see.. din talk much.. coz i rushing to do sth too.. ya.. den she went back le.. thanks alot yun!! i noe u are very tired le.. still run all the way, get my pressie, get the guys to write things, pass it to me personally!! thanks ger! love ya!!!

results...

today o level results are out. got gd news got bad news. my collegue din do quite well.. she did subs n only pass 3.. den one of my fren oso quite sad.. coz she failed her eng,... in the end.. quite troubled coz cant go to the course that she want. my niece was the only one giving me gd news. her L1R5 got 13. very gd indeed.. beta den me that time. moreover she took trip sci de lor.. clever n hardworking ger.

after hearing all this.. i really dunno wat to do suddenly.. all the nervousness... the tense feeling,. all in me now.. so much so that it is affecting me way before i noe when i getting my results... me n sally both turn into a walking vampire suddenly.. the whole room seems soo out of our world suddenlyl. no mood to work. gd thing is boss is not ard.. went for meeting.. den we went to helen to chat a while.. chat with mummy.. chat with aisha.. chat with jolene.. they all noe that we are very scared n worried.. they noe that we are very affected by the result thingy.. gd thing is that they all understand.. so when we do things more slowly n dreadfully..they din blame us n yet console n encourage us.. i was really very glad to haf nice collegues like them.. really will miss them if i quit my job there one day.

hai... result.. everyone have been telling me that i can make it.. they got faith in me.. if i were them.. i will say that too.. but i m really scared this time.. whole education life has been a smooth sailing one.. wat if i fall this time? duno wat i will do...

today..keep on tripping n almost fell for alot of times.. but den nv.. however.. when i reach home.. i was rushing off to learn something (religion associated stuff)... den i slipped n fell at home right before i left.. minor one.. din hurt myself.. den went there. when it was my turn.. a moth came n disturb.. even land on my collar.. den it flew off.. the second time.. the lantern dropped on me.. hai.. duno y.. so many things happened.. maybe is coz i choose to be sad n coz myself to haf a bad day today.. or might be a warning to me that i will nt do well for my a level.. or might be trying to get rid of all my bad luck b4 i get my result n when i do get my result.. it wun be that bad.. dunno which is which.. i choose to forget abt all n look at it as a little bits n pieces of my life that is insignificant....

itchy itchy itchy!!!

argh!! allergy is such a terrible thing!!! my hand kena allergy lor.. den is like starting is red dots ard some area. den start to get very itchy. den start to spread den my finger area even haf it all cluster at a few spots. den is damn damn itchy n yucky!!! so disgusting!!! argh!! itchy itchy itchy!!! *scratch scratch*

A level result...

got to know this yesterday at sabri hse actually. heard from dunno who say that o level result will be out on 28th of feb. n a level on 2nd of march. a wednesday. upon hearing that.. i suddenly felt so lost. though i had think of the paths that i can choose after i got my result be it bad or gd. though i haf been telling myself i will not do well n pls be prepared to go poly or gg NIE to take childcare course or wat so ever. when i got the news that my result will be out in ard a wk time. i really dunno wat to do.. i'm still feeling lost n alone. i see no one in front of me.. i see no one behind me.. i see no one ard me.. i see no one is able to reach out their hand to me. i'm told to be all alone. i m told to be independent. i m told to decide my future myself n be responsible to it. i cant see myself entering Uni. i cant see myself gg poly. i dunno where i will be. i dunno wat i will do. the result is out one day after my bday. who will haf the mood to celebrate with me. who will haf the mood to enjoy that day? how m i suppose to really enjoy n play all my heart out? how? i've really come to a t junction where i dunno where i can go. dunno wat i can do. dunno .. dunno.. dunno....

Valentine's Day

REAL FIRE!

new yr is coming!!

wow!! so so long nv come update le.. been very busy lately... also tired la. dunno why too.. my wkend was real busy.

saturday started at ard 9am. haha.. had a great nite! very long nv slp till 9am le. haha. alright. den ate my breakfast. den slack a while start cutting veggies, bean curd etc n starting to prepare lunch le.. den start making dough for a kind of new yr goody called "see put" hahaa.. dunno how to spell la..is kinda spicy small n nice kinda food. very crunchy munchy de.. hehee.. yup. but cox it is small.. it took us ONE WHOLE day.. juz to prepare the thingy. ya... but got sense of achievement la! haha.. den after that help my mum with the curtain den bath den pack up a bit.. in the end.. 12.30 or so almost 1 am i guess den got to bed.

sunday work up at ard 8.45. den went out. do this do that. came back at ard 2 pm. ate some lunch. start with new yr goodies again!!! argh!!! make till ard 6.30 den finish. saded!! my wkend.. juz used up like dat. din do anything oh my own!! argh!!! sianded!!! cant wait for new yr to come. den can wear my new clothes, can haf all the slp i want. can play all i want! hahahaa

hai...

today.. actually got alot to blog in de... hai.. got things abt back in sr band... abt ppl.. abt nyp... abt alot.. but.. now.. no mood le la... hai...

juz got scolded by my dad.. say i change till like my sis... nv do things that i promise to. i was juz too engross in the comics n nv notice the time... den... he did the stuff... n say i nv do as promise... hai... hai... sobz... dunno wat to say le... hai....

Huining's Bday!!!

hehee.. today is huining's bday. lazy to write short form le la.. later so many ppl with S again... okay let's get into the topic of the day.

actually din noe wat to do for her de.. ya.. den was discussing with shelia that day. ya lor.. den thinking very very hard dunno wat to do... last yr got her a big shock n she touch till she cry.. this year very hard to the same thingy le lor.. ya.. so... thinking of getting her a baby G this yr actually.. but cant get enuff ppl to share lor.. as u noe.. baby G a bit the Ex la.. ya lor.. den actually starting we was thinking it may be a very fun bday nite for her. coz we tot of asking sabrina, shawn, jeremy col, jeremy xiao di, lionel, marc, sally etc la.. den in the end... sabrina haf to go back take care of her granny, shawn dun wanna come coz sab not gg, jeremy col is in ns, jeremy xiao di meet gf, lionel dunno got wat la.. den marc got council meeting, sally haf to go home take care of her bro so cant make it.. in the end... only shelia n me. ya lor... okay la.. forget abt all those..let see wat happened today..

today.. purposely din msg her whole day lor.. thinking she will be damn disappointed with us.. ya.. den after that meet shelia at tamp interchange to get a cake for her. den when i reach there. shelia was half dead coz she reach there half an hour earlier den me. hahaa. sorry ger.. coz my work end at 5.15pm. ya. anyway, den we bought a bengawan solo's cake for ning, den went on to TM to see if we can get anything for her lor.. coz baby G is impossible le la.. ya.. den saw a watch.. fake baby G la.. cheaper den the real one by ALOT la.. hahaa. den quite nice too.. so get it lor.. den after that went into TM n find the tigger for her.. coz we noe she love tigger alot ma.. ya.. so got that for her lor.. yeah.. when we were on our way to the interchange thinking of getting on to her hse.... shelia called ning saying that she wanna go take notes for dunno who la.. den GOD KNOWS WAT HAPPENED NEXT>>> she say she is gg out with Adeline... win liao lor.. gg city hall somemore.. den we quickly call adeline to tell her wat we planning to do n got her help. haha. den we went to city hall like some suspicious character hidin here n there scared that she will see us.. den we went up to raffles city thinking that they will not go there de lor.. who noes.. they went!!!! n we almost meet face to face. haa.. lucky that ning is blur enuff to see nth. hahaa.. after that they went city link. den we think that it is surprise enuff to be in a place that is unexpected le lor.. so we went to find them.

in OP shop. we were standing right in front of ning.. guess wat.. she juz walk pass without knowing it is US!!! she really damn blur lor.. den we went thai express for their dinner. den the person offer to keep the cake for us.. after their dinner. they got out the cake for us.. light for us.. bring it to our table n actually SING the bday song SO SO LOUD till the whole place ppl all turn n look at us. hahaa. damn AA. kekeke.. den ning was like so so so pai seh that her face turn red. kekee.. ya..

den after that we went shop ard.. went to see skirt. haha.. ning ning wear a jeans skirt DAMN NICE lehz.. hahaa... she always dun wear skirt but that one damn nice lor!! too ex la.. if not.. haha. will force her to get it de. ekekkekee... ya la.. hope she had a great bday today.,.. kekeke. HAPPY BDAY NING!!!!

Part II

kekee.. ya.. den come 5++ pm.. i'm back to HN n gang den we chat a while den move on to FAR EAST AGAIN!! coz of that stupid SO. hahaa.. anyway.. ya la.. den we got a new jie mei.. SG. hahaa... he is the only "guy" there den like out maria.. no no yati like dat.. carry stuff for us.. walk behind even eat oso eat after us.. hahahhaaa.. ya lor.. den after that we shop till i dead. den talking lame stuff. den we go took neoprint!! haha.. so FUN! so so long nv take neoprint le...

this is the best day that i ever had after so so long sia.. though i m really dead la.. coz is like really walk till my legs give way le.. but still miss all of them so so much n we had so so much FUN!! bought a some nice nice stuff for myself. a top, a pair of nice nice slipper, a belt... nth else. hahahaa.. ya la.. so is like very happy lor.. though in the end... I WAS ALL ALONE ON THE WAY BACK!! sobz....

Alot to write!!! Part 1

hehee.. really got alot.. shall put them into parts la huh? ehehe.. here is the first part!!!

okay.. let's see.. we shall start on saturday.. coz i went shopping that day!! kekee... okay.. i met up with S and HN that day at orchard mrt at 1pm lor.. ya.. hehee.. a little late la huh? coz slp too much. kekekee.. den in the end HN later den me la.. haha. while waiting we realise ALOT... i really mean ALOT of ppl crowd ard there to ask ppl for donation. oh oh man.. so so so scary.. too scary i guess.. ya.. is like got the tsunami one.. got duno wat needy kids de.. den the tickets one.. so so scary. worst thing is once i reach there.. i saw sally den juz say hi only.. behind came a guy.. both of us kena a shock.. den he start he story abt wat needy children need the money dunno wat so ever. den he crap here n there.. den this n that.. so so so... irritating actually. cant stand him.. so we shall the cost n "got rid" of him. sound heartless la.. but yet.. nowadays too many this kinda donation thingy that really make ppl wonder.. if they all goes to the rightful person. anyway.. ya.. den we went on the wisma to see see look look lor.. ya..

first we went to S n K.. wow.. nice nice clothes all ard.. keke.. got a sleeveless one myself. coz really very nice. kekee.. gd thing can wear! haha... den HN oso tried some clothes la.. funny thing is she wore black top with a jeans that day. when she come out of the changing rm, she looks exactly the same.. almost tot she din try on the clothes she say she wanted to... haha. coz they look almost the same!!! den we wanted her to get some other clothes with other colour. den she insisted on not getting them. in the end we only able to persuade her to get another pattern one which is black again... ya...

next we move on to... er... forgot le la.. ya la.. in the end we land up in far east. oh ya.. i actually wanna get a skirt.. too bad la.. too fat.. nice one cannot fit in.. den that's it lor.. who ask me to be so so faT!! saded lehz... really lor.. can forget abt getting any nice pants, jeans or skirt le la.. ya lor.. after that something not so happy happened.. as in.. S quite like.. commenting that she, SS and HN is not of the same group, saying they rich n wat so ever... starting play play i dun mind la.. but soon getting more n more like... overdoin it la.. kinda bringing a barrier between them n herself... den i was thinking of ways how to stop that n such. in the end.. got back to wisma with S to find some other clothes n such leaving SS n HN behind in KFC waiting for SO n SG (haha.. look so so funny with all the initials.. opps.. hahaa..)

HIGHLIGHTED MY HAIR!!!

hehe.. think alot ppl shld noe le la.. is in my msn nick too!! hahahaa.. yeah!! so so excited!!! coz is kinda last min decision of doin that n is against my mother's law!!! but i still do it la.. coz i wanna try!! juz out of curiousity de lor.. ya.. den i scared my mum will scream her head off so i chose a very very near to hair colour de lor.. so not so obvious!!! ya la.. but i think i very funny de la.. firstly i hope they wun realise it.. secondly i wanna it to be obvious so that i m not wasting my money. hahahaa.. stupid right? but heck la.. i've done it.. a bit mad la.. but suddenly think that i grow up le!! hahahaa...

hohoho!!! HAPPY NEW YR!!

hey all!! HaPpY nEw yEaR!!! hoOhOoo...heeHEHEHeee... here is my new blog!! hehee.. nice nice?? wowo.. i oso see liao oso happy!! haha.. coz got nice song that i like got nice pic that i like.. got nice shape that i like got nice colours that i like.. ahhahaa.. a new yr n a brand now face for my blog!! hohoho..., hehehee.. nice right? wow.. cant stand it.. so so nice!! hahahaa..

anyway.. today spring cleaning!! wowowowow... throw away all the rubbish that i got from stupid jc!!! hahaa.. now i feeling so so.. great!! ahhaa.a. anyway.. ya..

yesterday saw HN, SS, JS at compass!! ehhee.. got comics from them too.. that HN.. scary.. whole big luggage of comics... keke.. n i'll go take from her one day!! ahhaaa...

den that stupid atm machine.. first one spoil den 2.. in the end.. queue so so long.. hate it.. hahaa.. ya la.. tt's all i guess..

HAPPY NEW YR!!!