....

hmm... wonder why.. wonder why i got so much so in love with him le.. hai.. wonder is it a gd thing a not.. i felt that i a bit too possesive le.. like.. i juz want to be with him all the time.. want to know wat he is doin.. want to know everything abt him.. all his frenz.. wanna know how to be the only ger that he'll want. i actually shld trust him... but sometimes.. it's really hard for me to trust a person when i really fall for him.. i start to wonder if he really like me.. start to wonder if i'm in his heart all the time...

at the beginning.. we msg almost every min every sec.. soon... we talk on the phone when i got home... den he got quite poor den cant really msg that much.. in the end only get to talk at nite... when we are both free... miss all the msges that i got.. miss those time when i felt so much loved... when time pass.. i grown to have a fear in me.. i scared he'll go.. i scared he'll leave me.. i scared he'll juz go without telling me... without knowing why he's gone. i'm scared that coz i got too possesive that he'll dislike me.. scared coz i love him too much that he got sick of me.. scared that one day if he found his ideal ger.. i will have to leave... so much fear in me that i dunno wat to do..

i really felt that i'm getting too possessive but i dun want to. i wanna let him has his freedom. has rm of his own do wat ever he want. sometimes i will wonder if our difference make him dun want me as his ger... the more i got myself into the relationship... the more i will think.. think abt whether he truely like me anot.. think abt whether the more he knows abt me.. the more he will like me or the less he will like me..

i think i'm really thinking alot.. maybe i too sensitive.. little things will make me wonder alot n think pessimistically... i juz cant help be being like that...

i miss you.