school reopen again!!!!

yeah! new sem started. everything goes back again~ study and study again!! lucky i dont have to take any unfamiliar sub this sem. mostly chinese with one Craft of Writing. It is exempted for exam. so hahahhahahahaaha... one less exam!!!

since school starts, dar and i arent as sticky anymore. got school stuff to do, he also preparing to start school soon. however, i dont know why, dont understand why, since school starts, we have been quarrelling quite often. Almost everytime when we meet we quarrel. I DONT LIKE IT!!! IN FACT I HATE IT!!! but to him, it is normal in a relationship. tiny tiny things we got to quarrel. He'll just get angry over little little stuff that i really dOnt knOw how not to make him angry. I really wonder is it my fault or his. At times, he admit that it is his fault, yet, he still seems the same. At times, he just say, that is him. when he says that, i got nth much to say. Because i dOnt want to change who he is yet i dont feel that it is right. hai....

Relationship really takes alot to maintain. ALOT. It is really not something that kids can play around with if u are really putting in ur heart and soul. Having a good family is what i dream for. Having a loving husband is what i hope for. I'm not saying he is not, but sometimes, things i thought normal bf will do he dont. But at times, he does things that other guys wont too!

Guys and gers really think very differently.

1)When he tells me he is going out alone, i will want to go out with him too, thinking that how nice it will be if i am free and able to follow him. Yet he dont feel that way, he say is just because he wanna let me know where he is not want me down. As for me? if i tell him i am alone, i am expecting him to accompany me. To me bf must be there whenever u are lonely unless he is really being tied down with work.

2)He needs time for himself, i only hope i can spend all my time with him.

3)He sees crying as being weak, i see crying as a way for me to let out my emotions.

4)I hope for his surprises in hall, he need to know when i am going over to plan his time.

many many more.....

It is just me being too sensitive, and him being noT sensitive enough. Sometimes, i actually feel that he care for himself more than me. In the past, he claimed that i nOt spending enough time with him. Then i sacrifices all my time with my friend to be with him. Now, he claims that he need some time for his friends, i've just got to try to change myself to not expect to see him that much anymore. I understand his point that i see my friend everyday yet he dont. But, why initially he makes me so used to his presence?

Alot of time, he told me that i have my strength, i'm great inside out. He tries all ways to boost my self esteem. But little does he kNow, when we quarrel over gers stuff, "i'm not a guy who is lack of women" will just throw me back down to a no self esteem me.

I love him, for no reason, with no regrets. But if i am push to a limit, i dont guarentee that i wont leave. I hate to say this, but is really a fact. I'll try my best to maintain this relationship well, and please work with me too. Doing it alone is really tiring, very tiring.... LOVE YOU WITH ALL I HAVE, LOVE YOU TILL I DIE.