first day working as SALES

today is my first day working as sales...

first thing in the morning~~ ALMOST late~~ kinda bad la.. first day den like dat.. but who knows.. my two other fren living nearer to tamp than me got there even later.. best right? but luckily they din go without us la~yeah... started off feeling so much so those hated sales gg from door to door.. coz me myself oso din really like to entertain those door to door sales ppl lor~ but quite excited to be challenged to be a sales la... so got quite crazy at the start.. think quite AA too la~~

den we moved on to get our t shirt n got our tag.. we changed and met back at tamp mrt station. yup.. after that we moved on to those nearby block which are mansionate(hope din spell wrongly) den we start our first meeting at the void deck at block 148. ya.. den we were splitted into 2 groups.. dunno why.. i got to be one of the group leader la~ ya.. hahahha.. *blur* den one very gd n funny thingy.. our grp is the "Girls' Sch Group" all of us were from gers sec sch de.. haha.. so click on real well n fast~

starting we really go door to door.. knock on everyone asking everyone...den met with different kind of ppl...target is to get 2 toothpaste sold off by one hour.. which we have to sell 8 per day actually.. but in the end... quite bad la~~ after one whole hour.. we still made no sales as yet.. which is BAD!!! but we actually met with alot of weird n funny ppl... hahaha.. there is one auntie.. very funny la~~ she answered us when we asked is there anyone in.. den her reply was..." No~~ no one at home~~" wow.. GHOST ar~ ghost answered lehz.. in the daylight wor~~ funny right? den after that.. got our grp the two gers got to sold 2.. after like i think 2 hours i guess.. but we got none out la~~ maybe too inexperience n not thick skin enough ba~

after that got back for meeting again~~ our grp got the best result~~ coz of the two gers.. *claps* den they got to share their experience.. den we moved on to start out work again.. this time~ we change our grouping lor~~ ning, daph n jiaying(best promoter of the day) one grp... sheree and i another grp. den we moved on~

second part of the sales.. we got to realise.. christians and eng educated ppl are more willing to listen to us.. and UNCLES they are so GOOD~~~ they listened and really gave us hopes n chances la~~ yup~~ a few of them ALMOST wanted to buy lor~~ but in the end.. their WIVES!!! argh!! really zui du fu ren xin~~ (opps.. think i m female too.. ops... a bit too exaggerating) but really la~ if not of them ar~~ think those uncles will buy from us lor~~ they got the thingy.. ask wife.. den the auntie will come out.. dun want la dun want la!! sorry la!!

den we tot mansionate ppl are hard to persuade hence moving on to flat.. hai.. worst~~ we walked the whole flat only like 2 to 3 listened to us.. den quite demoralising.. moving on to the other block~ WOW~ love the 6th floor uncle~~ he got it from us!!! wahhahahaa.. so happy... my first toothpaste sold!!! really hard earned money sia~~~ though alot of funny ppl.. weird things that we've encounted.. a day of real experience learning alot more abt the world.. abt the reality.. abt the society.. that we din use to know.. a great eye opener~

after that last debriefing.. the pros (those in the job quite some time de seniors) ACTUALLY SOLD 4 juz from one block lor~~ win le right? hai... jia you~~~ we can make it beta the next time!!!

PS: now i learn to appreciate different jobs n has less dislike for sales ppl le~~ really pity them for getting into the job but.. i think all i will is to listen to them but still doubt will buy anything from them la~~

concert nite

Saturday :

Sushi making day. woke up quite late la.. den after lunch start making my sUSHI~~ kekeke... the rice was kinda too sticky le.. coz put too much water when i cook the rice.. den after that put some salt , sugar n vinegar~~ kekeke.. den start wrapping.. was fast n gd la.. juz that starting one or two my mum say too er.. loose? ya.. den not firm enough.. planned to make only 10 la.. but in the end.. made 18 i think.. i mean rolls~~ each roll can cut out 8 sushi pieces.. so.. can imagine how much i've made!

after that ning came my hse..coz i asked her to come over.. kekek.. coz i wanna go her hse borrow shoes ma.. keke.. concert muz wear formal a bit.. got clothing no shoes.. so.. yup... wore a pink top inside with a black long sleeve top out. den a pink base strip skirt. den got a pair of black heels from ning. ya.. very formal n lady like wor.. first time ever. but suffered alot lor...

suppose to reach the concert by 7pm.. tot it was 7.30.. den late lor.. saded. got ning to go with me.. kekeke.. den i went concert n she went shopping till the concert ends at abt 9+. den go meet her again... kinda road idiot la.. from esplanade to suntec.. half an hour plus den reach. hahhaa.. went wrong way... den wanted to eat ice kachang till ard 1030 den go de.. coz very tired and legs aching ma.. but the food court closing down ar.. den pai seh to stay too long.. den walk slowly back lor.. promise ning that will go home with her den go home from there.. indeed i did it.. n reach home juz b4 12midnite.. like cinderalla like dat. hahhaa..

tiring day~~~

wow...

SO SO SO LONG NV BLOG LE~~
kekeke.. alot of things happened la.. my blog change a bit..the MOO MOO... my niece come my hse stay... learn to wrap the rice dumpling... the relative OUTING~~ sentosa outing~~ oh man~ alot wor...

hahah.. too much le.. shall say a bit here n there...
sentosa one was cool~~ went all ard sentosa for treasure hunt.. so tired.. den wei ren kor kor treat us drink at subway... den teach us psycho stuff... hahaha.. make me wanna learn psychology too.. you sheng oso haf the same mentality as me~~ kekeke... after that play water game~~ WAH SO MALU everyone look at us see duno wat we doin... hahhaa.. eyes so pain!!! den after that play monkey in the water!! wahha.. FUN!!! kekeke.. y?? coz got ppl like bernard to do stupid stuff to enertain us.. den ya ming there playing along.. den still got this couple for us to suan... den we are at the water end.. the ball come we will juz smash into the water! wow.. COOL~~~ great day!

next... dumpling day~~ i made 11!!! kekeke.. coz mummy scared my standard not gd enough den dun let me continue... in the end!!! ONLY 1 IS SPOILT!!! the rest very nice k!!! den ar... only one not very nice lehz.. mummy dun cut that one coz she scared cannot differentiate mine n hers!!! see!! got standard k?? den dunno i crazy or wat.. that day VERY guai lor.. do all the household chores till almost died!!!

last~ the RELATIVE OUTING... with jing yi (niece) and cai wei (cousin). CW so chio lor.. where till so ger!! den ar.. catch alot of attention~ scary!! den that crazy JY keep singing xio ba chang ( hot meat dumpling in hokkien). madness.. den dunno wat's gone into her.. keep singing oldies n all.. crazy la!! den after that went to orchard!! boring place actually.. den we went quite early.. dun haf much ppl. went to heeren to take NEOPRINTS~ hahaha.. took 2 wor.. ex hor!! but JY paid first la.. she rich ma!! ahhahaha.... den so fun!! that CW care so much abt her xing xiang... take the neoprint almost all same pose!! kekeke.... alot of close up pix. nice!! but the whole body one NOT NICE!! can see my FATS!! sobz.. wahhahahaha....

STUPID MP3

hai.. this stupid mp3 is so so troublesome.. i'll nv get any brandless or lousy brand stuff ever sia... stupid lor. n is really not cheap la.. 150 bucks lehz.. okay la.. not i buy de la.. my sis got it for me,.. oh.. ya.. haven say why.

this stupid mp3 which is branded as SYNERGY is lousy la.. is like that time she got it for me.. after less den 2 months.. the stupid thingy dunno why.. when i listen one side got sound one side no sound.. tot is my ear piece.. but change le still same.. nvm.. den i go find the shop to see if they can help me service it.. den ar.. went down to orchard cant find that stupid midpt orchard... in the end.. think walk for abt half an hour den found it.. still haf to ask ard den know.. ulu area!!! den that person say help me send for service.. for one whole wk i dun haf a mp3!! so tong ku le lor....

this morning i got his phone calll. telling me that i can go get a new mp3 , they will to change one for me.. when i reach there they say coz the person request for 50bucks to service it for me.. so they decided to give me a new one instead.. den ar!! that new one is worst la!! can even use lor.. is like dunno the batt part too loose or wat lor.. sian lehz.. really cmi lor!!! den now.. look at it make me angry!! PEK CHEK AR!!!!

after mid yr...

MID YR IS OVER!! but i only happy for 3 days... now.. stress again. hai...

chem i din do really well.. though did beta den previously in sch la.... but think at most i can only pass la.. not even a D?? hai.. my aim? GONE!! sobz.. hope aiming for a C in prelim is not a dream.
den for maths.. dun haf much hope too.. paper 1 almost half cannot do.. p2 only can do stats. ya.. so.. equally bad.. only hoping for a E too.. ya... sobz... as for CLA... not known yet.. teacher haven review anything yet.. not for today la.. i nv go sch.. so dunno. hahaha.. ops.. why? coz.. coz.. too tired le la.. need some rest. today all lecture.. rather not go sch.. PL again!! haha... as for gp... dunno la.. under that teacher i oso dun think i can do well la.. with her.. hai.. so bored so dunno la. juz think she cant teach la.. compare to KT last yr.. though fierce but really gd lor.. hai.. now only listen to more grandma stories everyday.. getting so so bored!

anyway.. after mid yr is my best time.. for 3 days.. but now.. back to suffering.. back to hell..

hai.. my mp3!! when can it come back to me.. so bored without it!! argh!! i want my mp3!!!

yeah!! out whole day!!

today went out almost whole day.. busy day!

morning 10.30am.. tuition starts.. suppose to be at 10am.. but my student came late. so started later. den ends at 11.45.. coz her mum came earlier.. den i got sth on at 1pm too.. so release her earlier.

den rush down to hougang sports complex at 12.30.. luckily reach there at 1245pm.. coz told HN to reach earlier.. told her meet at 1245 but in the end.. she rush from tuition oso.. den late. while waiting saw a sr band senior jun long. ya.. den.. lucky thingy is that the free trail today for the body sculpt started late. den funny thing is only 2 of us went!! mad lor.. den the yoga class ppl some joined us.. coz is free ma.. juz went lor.. den pathetic 5 of us. starting is some warm up with aerobics steps.. den after that had some work outs with dump bells. wah!! can die!! keeping the arms in the air with the weight almost killed me! kekee... den after tat did some leg stuff.. tiring! den is some ab stuff.. that one.. oso quite tiring. keke.. overall is tiring la. but fun! now arms n legs very suan!

den after that ard 2.45 came back home. bath. den go for tuition at 4+ suppose to be ar 4. den we postpone to 4.15 but still late.. keke.. 4.20 den reach.. today we gone crazy in tuition. out of control. den ryan looks so troubled. coz dunno how to stop us! ahhaha. who ask him use wrong eg. kekee..

den after tuition went orchard! abt 7.30 pm like dat.on the way to kovan mrt... btw.. we walked la.. coz HN's bus fare ex ma.. den on the way.. saw benji(sr ex councillor) den saw andy n his gf, ya.. den took train down to orchard. keke.. so long haven been there le.. actually go there to get my mp3 repaired la. den it;s at midpt orchard. dunno where it is.. look high n low walk from orchard to somerset to orchard pt to meradians to orchard pt again den to UOB bank area den saw the word midpt orchard!! madness lor.. so tiring n hot! humid actually.

after which we go HMV. i mean heerens la. outside there say chong beng( sr vball de.. i dunno him la.. S n HN's fren) den walk ard.. saw marcus n his gang when S bought us ICE CREAM! kekek.... den S wanted to get a top coz very hot. den went up.. saw phyllis.. cedar band senior.. den saw MH!! keke.. long time no see le! kekeke.. den after that nth to do.. so went PS. S's boy there la.. keke.. den HN got to buy "sth" lor.. so waited for her. after which we went take neoprints!! KEKE.. nice wor.. hope can upload to frenster den ppl can see our cute chio face! kekee... (bhb) ... after which i go home le.. is ard 10.15 ba.. din noe we were out that long till shelia told me is 9.45 le. haha..

on the way back saw alan xu n pei shan on the train. they went out with their sec sch gang. keke...

dropped at SK. den reach home sharp at 11! hahhaa.. not over the curfew timing. keke...
had a great day today. miss all my frenz! great time walking ard being mad talking abt all sorts of rusbbish coming out with all sorts of crazy ideas. den acting here n there. singing too. haha.. so happy!!!

TML LAST PAPER!!!

hahaa... wat a big contrast from the previous one.. yes! tml is last paper.. shld say half of a paper!! kekek.. coz only maths paper 2~~ n is in the afternoon!! ahhaha.. can slp till i shuang! hahaha.. den after that can enjoy! no la.... go tuition.. kekeke.. coz student's mid yr coming.. haha.. nice one right? right after my paper.. heng ar..

so.. let;s see..my plan for friday!! ahhaha.. wahhahaha.. wanna go watch movie lehz.. but now ar.. increase by a dollar again lehz!! scary right? siao liao la.. stupid cinema.. dun wanna survive liao is it?? like dat ppl all go buy vcd beta right? go watch movie for wat? bu hua sia....

yeah.. den wanna go repair my mp3!! sian lehz.. only like 2 months old?? den got problem liao.. hai... saded!! xin tong!!!!

yeah!! cant wait sia... wonder how would i turn out to be after a level this yr.. after all the hardwork not like last yr.. hahahahhahaaaa....... cant imagine! hahahah cant wait!!!

TML MID YEAR!!! NO CONFIDENT!!!

hai.. tml is mid yr le.. first paper is maths.. now still studying.. till i pek chek... i mean.. i study till very frustrated.. hai.. so many things forgot so many things dunno.. so many things cant do... how how.. hai... scared lor.. moreover tml there is chem paper 3 too lor.. that one though not as scary.. yet.. nv really study like dat.. juz do excercise only.. maths. maths.,. maths.. how???

mathematical induction cant do... integration not gd... AP GP can die... trigo not very stable.. wah!!! die le la.... how?? depend on 2nd paper?? dunno can of not.. hai.. SAVE ME!!!!

BABY!!!

rui qing jie jie give birth le!! baby ger!! today(6th May) at ard 11++am. keke... was so so excited.. wanted to go see baby today.. but mummy say ppl who are first time mummy will feel very tired n very painful de.. no energy to talk to us. go see le oso no use. not as if we are her immediate relatives... ya.. so nv go lor.. hai.. wanna see her n her baby!!!!

after so long...

hey you!! hahahaa.. this wk is study leave.. but i'm like so so busy...

tuesday morning got tuition... learnt chem eqm n electrolysis.. den after that came back home do some hw n stuff.. slp.. den at nite go tuition for little kid call angelyn. cute la.. playful. hard to control. think too nice to her le... lazy ger... but quite smart n chatty la.. challenging one. den she got a younger bro.. so cute! hahaa.. pull me here n there play with him. den after our tuition... he actually dun wanna me to go home! hahaa.. stop me at the door. kekee.. cute! love him! hahahaa...

den wednesday.. went for tuition with her again.. why? spelling learn whole nite oso cant finish. hai... almost vomit blood.. complain here n there.. so haf to go there to teach her spelling again.. this time round. got some in her head. but still dun wanna study... called her mum when she got 5 in her head.. claming that she will pass le.. dun need to study le.. so.. her mum oso no choice.. so ask her to learn her chi spelling... same outcome..

after that got a last min tuition with ryan. he taught us maths this time.. dicrete random variable.. not that diff yet.. so.. still alright.. den... came back hm with shelia.. she studied at my hse.. i din study la.. qutie tired.. den do my hse work.. den cook dinner.. den J came to go dinner with her.. ya..

thursday which is today.. went to angelyn hse again.. tuition again,.. ya...chi spelling lor.. den she kena mummy beat. y? reluctant to learn her spelling la.. felt quite useless there.. din manage to help much... in the end she still got finish learning her spelling la.. but is becoz her mum was there n force her to learn. hai.. useless me.. later gg her hse again... this time.. is her elder sis.. felt more sense of achievement to teach her.. more willing to learn n all.. more mature too... gg there soon!

btw.. my last chem test was great!!! hahahaa.. i got an A!!!! oh man! first time seeing an A in my chem result! ahhaa.. but is thermochem..so no big deal actually... ya.. but still happy la! kekekee.... jia you!!!

yeah!

hehehee.. today got back cla paper.. hai.. can be happy can be sad.. coz i got second this time!! haha.. something to be proud abt coz got improvement since the 3rd the last time. but den.. only HALF a mark to be the top!!! oh man... i want that book! though dunno wat bk.. but i wanna read n see if it is a nice bk anot lehz.. sobz...

anyway, got back my chem last wk.. wasnt that great.. got an AO.. but is quite an achievement that i still can get an AO.. coz normally is a F. but i still home that i can do beta the next time.. on thermochem.. i m aiming for a C. hope i can la..

tml is maths test.. dunno how many question.. but i hope can at least pass this test.. think shldnt be that difficult..

rather tired today.. slpin early today ba.. but hard to slp lehz.. yesterday went swimming with ning ning.. at the most perfect timing.. 12PM to 2 PM. hahaa.. tot no one will be crazy like us to go swimming at that hour.. but was quite wrong.. coz they only go after 1pm.. den ya.. got sun burnt!! n is very painful now!! oh man!!

back to sch

hey bloggy.. so long nv put in any entry le.. wow.. very long le.. back to sch le.. first chi test was very impromptoo. ya.. luckily still manage to score alright.. 3rd in class tog with another ger. den chem test over too.. that wasnt very gd one.. but at least i can do them.. haha.. though not all.. but i think beta den b4 la.. hahaa... yeah... back to sch wasnt a bad thing. i get to know the importance of study, the joy that i receive when i really studied.. great study grp where we discuss n excel together... real great experience... ya..

pass few days fell sick. had fever since thursday but only got to see doctor yesterday. slept at home whole day din really do much work.. kinda guilty for that.. den today suppose to go test.. chi test.. but my fever was still there.. n the weather not so gd.. dun dare to go sch. after that took my med.. feeling beta.. den went for tuition.. sobz.. a few more marks to my test n i can haf 15bucks off.. muz try harder the next time.. muz build up my speed. yeah!!! made some stupid mistake too.. ya.. after that suppose to haf a tuition with a p6 ger.. but her mum wasnt free.. so she din make it here today.. den make the rest of my day quite free.. gd weather.. so SLP again!! hahaa... din get to do anything again.. sobz.. *guilty*

i promise.. will do sth at least tonite if not by tml muz finish my maths work!! jia you!!!

Shelia's Bday!

yeah!! sunday is shelia's bday..hahaa... had a hard time but.. no fun la.. she knew sth is up lor.. but i actually saw tears in her eyes. haha. dunno is fake one or wat.. or juz that she yawned?? hmm.. anyway.. ya.. here it goes...

on friday.. i contacted huining n asked her abt everything. den decided to add adeline into our present shareholder.. hahaa... den we din haf enuff money..*poor la..* got shelia's mum for help. we got her to helped us make a cake for her bday. den we bought her a cushion with tasmania on it.. haha. that;s very very cute!! coz it's leg is 3D!! hahaa. pink cushion.. den got her a pair of dangling earrings. hehee.. her first dangling earrings i believe. den got a box of rochale?? dunno how to spell la.. some chocolate la huh? yup! den we discussed and got to a conclusion on saturday nite. ya!

sunday morning i asked ning where n when to meet. she juz told me 12pm. nth else.. i was like.. dotx.. 12pm meet where.. den she say anywhere u decide.. den it was 11plus le lor.. den i asked 1pm can or not.. she juz say okay.. den asked her where she say i decide le den tell her,... machiam as if i noe wat time she meeting shelia's mum and whether we can go her mum's hse anot. cox everything is she discussed with her mum not me!! den i realise she still slpin. so juz heck her n say 1.15pm at CP. in the end.. i was late. hahaha.. why? got to help my mum dye hair. cook lunch. eat lunch. make my mum happy a bit den can go out!! hahaha...yup.

den here we reach CP. den she told me she dunno where to stop when we were abt to take LRT. win liao right? hahaa.. den called her mum n asked her of course. haha... her mum sound so kan jiong so nervous. cant blame her.. she very nice lehz.. woke up early in the morning 6am tried to make the cake that shelia wants.. (oreo cheese cake) den failed... made another one at 8am. den rush out with her husband to bedok... den rush back to meet us juz to get us back to the hse and got shelia back home. GREAT MUM right? ya.. when we reach her hse.. it;s abt 2+pm. meeting shelia at 2.30pm. we intend to gif her a surprise. so we actually told her that we cant celebrate for her on her bday coz of this n that earlier. den got to her hse n hide!! hahaa.. hide in her bro's rm. hahaa..

(details n more details) in the end.. everything out. hahaa.. hope she is happy la huh? she said her mum n jeremy's acting skills cannot make it. so she actually got to know there muz be sth gg on. haha.. den she n Ning got to eat almost half of the cake. i cant eat la.. so din touch. only eat oreo. hahaa... yeah!! den after that shelia n her boy went to her boy's relative's hse. den too early for ning n me to go back. so went out. decided to go bugis!! hahaa.. yeah!!

at bugis.. ahhaa.. we decided to play ard, wear those clothes either we cant afford or we will nv get to buy or nv will wanna buy de.. hahaa... so.. we went to dorothy perkins. hahaa.. tried 2 spag top and a long sleeve black top, 2 bottom which are a bit 3 quart type de. yeah!! to my surprise. one of the spag top actually look quite nice on me lehz.. can u imagine a fat pig wearing spag and yet it dun look disgusting? i cant but really looks alright. den the black long sleeve top is NICE!!! 19.90!! wanna get lehz.. hahaa.. next wk!! hahahaa... den went on to another dunno where la.. tried tube top! hahaa.. told u.. those we will nv buy or wear kinda clothes. hahaa.. alright la.. not that great. ya.. den went to S n K... like on of the top. but to wear that need to get a spag for the inside de... quite ex lehz.. spag is ard 12 or 14? the top is 25!!! total??? OH MY GOD!! hahaa.. so juz wear for fun la.. hahaa.. anyway i dun really look nice in that la.. hahaha.. yup!

went on to see ard.. din intend to get anything la.. but in the end.. we both bought a pair of earrings each!! 2.50 only. hahaha.. pink colour for me n blue for ning!! nice nice wor!! hahahaa.. yeah.. intending to go back there next wk. get my black top yeah!! den need to study!! oh! btw.. my first tuition was great!! learn alot of stuff!! COOL!!!

seems like...

seems like this dun support chi.. sobz.. my compo cant be read by anyone... hahaa..

My compo

here i wrote sth in chinese. a compo la.. my feeling too.. ya... hope can share with u bloggy...

<< 我的未来在哪? >>

“嘀嘀答答…” 雨点一滴一滴地落下。早上那晴朗的天空已不知何去何从。 秒针嘀答嘀答的走着，我早上那仅有的笑容也随着那声响，一点一滴的消失。心越沉越低，似乎已落入千谷深渊中了。再过半个小时，我便会来到我人生的另一个十字路口。这是一个不完全能由自己选择去路的十字路口。心中的一切彷徨与无助是谁也无法给予任何帮助的。

此时此刻的我正朝着学院的方向走去。坐在那巴士上，望着窗外的街道，不知何故都好象被蒙上一层暗淡的色彩。虽然我非常清楚我正朝着学院方向走去，但对自己未来的道路，却像只迷途羔羊般迷糊。在那朦胧细雨中，我似乎看见了自己的未来，看见不久后将发生的事。。。

慢慢地，我拖着那沉重的脚步，一步一步，有点失去平衡般的踏入了校门口。应该是因为天气的缘故吧，整个世界变得昏昏暗暗的。荫风阵阵吹过。那寒风吹进了我心头里去了。我打了个寒颤。我停下了脚步，总觉得有种不祥的预感。是我多心了吗？

来到了礼堂，大家都聚集在那兒，气氛是十分的紧张。校长滔滔不绝地说了很多。她在台上分析了很多对我们来说都已毫无意义的一堆资料。校长说了很久。看着她那一张一合的嘴，却听不到任何的声音。是我聋了吗？我似乎已开始封闭自己，将自己锁在只有自己的世界里。对于这次的考试，我是一点信心也没有。 我不期望自己能考得多好，但至少也该及格吧。站在最后的我，一直装着看得很开的样子，与大家说说笑笑的。

终于轮到我了。上前拿了一堆没用的书刊，纸张。老师分完后，又拖拖拉拉的交代这儿，交代那儿，才将成绩单递给我。我不敢看，没勇气去看。拿了便放进书包里，离开了礼堂。走到全校人烟最稀少的地方。我慢动作的掀开了成绩单。天啊！我。。。我居然只有一科是及格的，而且也只是刚刚及格罢了。我一生学习的生涯中，从未失败过。这是地一次。我看傻了，只能呆呆的望着那张如同废纸般的文凭。这时的我，脑袋一片空白。我真的不知该如何是好。我的未来要如何走下去？我现在因该想些什么？该做何打算？该如何面对父母对我的期盼？ 该如以失败者的身份去面对着世界？不知道，真的什么都不知道。

此时眼前一片朦胧。泪水不断涌出，像瀑布般的怎么也控制不了的。我现在只想静静地从这世上消失。只要离开这里，所有的‘不知道’，所有的‘怎么办’，也都会随着消失。从此再也没有所谓的不安，没有社会所带来的压力，没有人们所给予的眼光。哈！那是多么棒的事啊！

不知何时，也不知怎么的，我来到一座组屋的顶楼。看着无边无际的天空，多美好啊！顿时感到一种前所未有的平静，似乎来到天堂似的，好舒服，好舒服。这正是我想要的感觉，想要的世界。我来了！

“紫婷！下车了！还发什么呆啊？”







星心

First Major Setback

Why do I only update my blog now? after 8 days since my birthday? Because I was in depression mood for qutie sometime after i took my result on 4th of march. I've always been a ger whereby i dun haf to study much... dun haf to be very hardworking n yet i can continue my study by luck or wat so ever. manage to get by all my examinations and reach till jc level. 4th of march mark a special day in my life. i got my a level result then.. as my my title goes... it was indeed my first major setbacks.

i always potray a strong front. cheerful, optimistic and every positive words u can find. but 4th march is the day when i m totally lost. lost in the world, lost in my world, lost in lalaa land. i've got to see my result. yes! i failed! i've got O O E and a C6 for my result. E is my grade for my CLA. that was really a shock! i actually tot i might get a C or even a B. but yet.. an E was shown. the other 2 was more or less expected as i really din put in much effort then.. played too much, too much involvement in any other activities other than studies. till around august or so.. i was lost. totally lost in the world of book, in the world of study. i din noe wat to do then, din haf enuff courage to face the fact that i m really laggin way behind others. having too much of self confidence thinking that i did it in the past, i will be able to do it again now! but i couldn't. JC life is very much different from secondary sch. it is only now then i realise JC students are a bunch of elites in singapore, all study very hard very well. it's very different from o level where the standards really varies alot!

with this setback, i think i do grow up a little. i got to know the importance of studying, i know the importance of every single things that we haf to do in schools. i know how to prioritise my time. i got to know the feeling of FAILURE. if not because of this setback, i will nv wake up, nv will i able to noe that there is indeed a limit to my cleverness. i was actually juz over confident of myself.

O O E C6 is really not a cert that i will want to see. here is my aim, my target!

mid yr : D D D C6

prelim: C C B C5

A level: B A B B4

(first column in chem, second is maths C , third ClA and lastly is Gp.)

i will further update my results n see if i meet all my target. i want to excel! i want to get at least an A for my A level. Hope that this will be a realistic goal for my studies now on. All the best!

My bdaY part 2!!!

yup... den all the while was waiting for huining n marc n shelia to msg me, call me or meet me today.. but they din.. i expected it actually.. coz we did all this to ning too.. haha.. so.. waiting n waiting.. den after work... i tot qluite normal still.. den i tot they will come up to my hse.. so i waited n waited.. even told my mum they might come up. hahaa.. den here comes 8pm.. way after their knock off hour.. den waited again... haha.. but sth weird is.. wai ling called!! she called me when i was in the bus.. she said she need to borrow my sec 4 yr book from me.. coz she bet with her fren 1o bucks saying that there is joycelynn tay in tha yr book.. den she say she need to borrow from me.. den i shock la.. so juz say okay lor.. den she say she'll call me back later.. saying she outside now.. when she get back den she call me to get it from me.. by then i was suspecting that she was part of the plan. but really din expect her to be in it la.. so.. still wondering..

ya. back to the waitin part.. till 8.35pm.. wai ling called... she said.. hey.. i on the way home.. er.. need to meet my fren at 9pm at hougang mall.. but need to go home n change first.. so will call u after i reach home k?? den i was like..orh.. okay lor.. den 8.45pm.. hey!! i rush down to ur hse le!! come down k?? den i oso say alright lor.. den i went down.. carrying the yr bk. saw my neighbour at the lift.. she said:" gg out ar?? gg downstairs only is it?? ur fren down there waiting for u right?? down there le.. right at the lift there only!!" haha.. den i was like.. er.. really is them ar? haha.. den reach the void deck.. only saw wai ling.. tot hui ning really forgot EVERYTHING!! den... passed her the bk.. asked her how she gg HM.. she say other den 101 n 161 wat bus can i take ar? den i say 325.. but will take VERY long leh.. den she was like.. i need to buy lolly pop lehz.. where can i find heart shape lolly pop ar?? den she said she actually was trying to fake say wanna go HM meet his boyfriend. den she say she very late le.. only got 1 bucks to go to HM.. den i say like dat u can go. but cant come back le.. den she say he can send her back... as she say all this.. she walk n walk to the econ area.. den when she say he can send me back ma.. we were at a turning pt lor.. den suddenly i heard ppl singing bday song!! haha.. it was marc, ning, adeline n marc's bro. hahaa.. i shock lor.. almost cried!! hahaa.. had a great surprise bday today!! a very gd one!!

after that we were talking there.. they wanted to smash the cake on my face asking me to get the candle out of it wat so ever.. den marc tried.. haha. failed la!! hahaa. coz din really get it on my face.. only a little ard my mouth! haha... he tried the second time n i manage to escape that too!! hhahhaa.. lucky!! den after that they den told me they plan this very long le.. hahahaa.. juz yesterday if i m not wrong.. chatted with marc online.. den he told me he lost his yr book n such.. den i luffed at him saying i will NV loose my cedar yr book de.. then he luffed!!? i was like.. huh? why he luff? but heck him.. den today den i noe that it is to confirm that i sure to haf my cedar yr book so that wai ling can try get it from me n their plan can work! dotx lor.. but really touched upon hearing that.. din noe that they planned it so long ago!! HAPPY!!

yeah!! den chatted at the void deck from 9 till 11!! haha.. den get to noe that ade actually lost her way here.. walked a long way!! LOVE YA!! *muackz* marc actually sacrifice alot.. coz he din do his hw.. din complete his work which suppose to hand in today n all.. yet he came for the celebration!! touched!! marc!! LOVE YA!! *muackz* den huining rushed down to get my pressie from work n took cab down to my hse when she actually qutie broke!! darling!! LOVE YA!! *muackz* n wai ling.. actually think so much n had a great plan in getting me into a surprise celebration!! LOVE YA !! *muackz* -huggies all!!- really had a great day today!! had fun! had shock! had tears! had laughter! had great memories! best bday ever!!! love all!! love shelia too... though she nv turn up.. i noe she muz haf sth on tt;s y cant make it de.. i noe she wanted to come de.. love u shelia!! *muackz*

PS: thanks all n everyone who had made my bday this yr a special one. i will remember everyone of u!! THANKS!!

MY BDAY!!! part 1

today is MY BDAY!! alot ppl shld noe le la!! hahaa.. ya... so.. it did start VERY well... all started since 12am.

first of all ppl... joanna msg me n wish me happy bday!! i was so so touched!! she actually remembered n say got thingy for me!!! hahaa.. anyway.. ya.. happy n touched!! den up next is xiuhui wishing me happy bday thru msn.. think she come first b4 joanna.. forgot la.. haha.. sth like dat la.. den is my dearest niece jingyi.. wished me happy bday thru msn n msg too!! haha.. den you sheng.. hahaa.. kena me forced de.. hahaha.. wish me happy bday thru msn too.. haha.How dare him!! FORGOT MY BDAY!! sobz.. haha.a nvm la.. i nv expect him to remember either.. kekee... den one after another.. all msg me to wish me happy bday.. i shall list them.. kekee...

joanna, jing yi, lawrence, hong an, jialing, pei yun, letchimy, shawn, zhen hui,shelia, gracia, mei hui, ramzi, wan ping(called), wen yao, guijin (called),Gor (yaoming), tian ying(mei!), hakim, xiu hui, lizhu, li lian, rui qing, cai wei, arif, james,rong si. ( think that;s abt all.. shldn't haf missed out anyone la.. shldn't de..)

den.. first thing in the morning today!! my dad wished my happy bday!!! ahhaha.. so happy!!! den went to work.. overslept la.. den quite tired too.. so.. yeah.. hahaa. tired!! den my collegue helen wished my happy bday in the morning n gave me a cup for pressie. my "mummy" aka sapiah hugged me!! hahaa.. wished me happy bday too.. haha.. sally spread the news of my bday la.. den all wished me happy bday namely azizzah, diana, kala, adeline, mariam. yeah!! den.. after that worked whole day.. den finally time to go home!! haha..

we missed the first double deck!! den in the end squeezed in the single deck bus.. so so tired!! leg pain.. sally got a sit.. which is in front of the tv mobile... suddenly she turn n say.. is really on FRIDAY lehz.. wat is it? A LEVEL RESULT!!! sux!! i was like? HUH? where wat?? den she told me she saw it on the runnin script under the news de.. den i stare hard at it.. it repeated for 3 times!! but i din see that line.. den i told her is her illusion la!! den as i abt to gif up.. that line appeared!! " Singapore GCE A level result will release on friday, 4th of march at 2.30pm!! OH MAN!!! my heart juz sank lor.. i almost break down on the way home... den actually wanna go compass to withdraw money n such. den nv la.. den after that actually gg to meet my junior at compass too.. but nv oso.. coz she will be reaching quite late.. den i need to rush home. she stay quite near my hse too.. so she come to my hse there to pass me,... ya.. suddenly really no mood to do anything.. was very hungry.. but upon hearing the news.. juz felt so so full suddenly. den we went home.. ya.. reach home very sad!! duno wat to do.. juz wanna cry. dunno for wat to. dun even noe why i m so so affect by the news.. not even my result lor.. only the day of collecting.. den i rush into the toilet.. i cried!! let out all my tears, all my fears... really dunno wat i will do if i cant make it to Uni... den back to normal me again.. so.. pei yun( my junior ) called. so went down n get the pressie they had for me.. it is a note bk!! nice one!! with a post card!! haha.. hong an, arif(shock to see his name. din expect him to write anything down!) n of course pei yun wrote their wishes to me!!! she was very tired i can see.. din talk much.. coz i rushing to do sth too.. ya.. den she went back le.. thanks alot yun!! i noe u are very tired le.. still run all the way, get my pressie, get the guys to write things, pass it to me personally!! thanks ger! love ya!!!

results...

today o level results are out. got gd news got bad news. my collegue din do quite well.. she did subs n only pass 3.. den one of my fren oso quite sad.. coz she failed her eng,... in the end.. quite troubled coz cant go to the course that she want. my niece was the only one giving me gd news. her L1R5 got 13. very gd indeed.. beta den me that time. moreover she took trip sci de lor.. clever n hardworking ger.

after hearing all this.. i really dunno wat to do suddenly.. all the nervousness... the tense feeling,. all in me now.. so much so that it is affecting me way before i noe when i getting my results... me n sally both turn into a walking vampire suddenly.. the whole room seems soo out of our world suddenlyl. no mood to work. gd thing is boss is not ard.. went for meeting.. den we went to helen to chat a while.. chat with mummy.. chat with aisha.. chat with jolene.. they all noe that we are very scared n worried.. they noe that we are very affected by the result thingy.. gd thing is that they all understand.. so when we do things more slowly n dreadfully..they din blame us n yet console n encourage us.. i was really very glad to haf nice collegues like them.. really will miss them if i quit my job there one day.

hai... result.. everyone have been telling me that i can make it.. they got faith in me.. if i were them.. i will say that too.. but i m really scared this time.. whole education life has been a smooth sailing one.. wat if i fall this time? duno wat i will do...

today..keep on tripping n almost fell for alot of times.. but den nv.. however.. when i reach home.. i was rushing off to learn something (religion associated stuff)... den i slipped n fell at home right before i left.. minor one.. din hurt myself.. den went there. when it was my turn.. a moth came n disturb.. even land on my collar.. den it flew off.. the second time.. the lantern dropped on me.. hai.. duno y.. so many things happened.. maybe is coz i choose to be sad n coz myself to haf a bad day today.. or might be a warning to me that i will nt do well for my a level.. or might be trying to get rid of all my bad luck b4 i get my result n when i do get my result.. it wun be that bad.. dunno which is which.. i choose to forget abt all n look at it as a little bits n pieces of my life that is insignificant....

itchy itchy itchy!!!

argh!! allergy is such a terrible thing!!! my hand kena allergy lor.. den is like starting is red dots ard some area. den start to get very itchy. den start to spread den my finger area even haf it all cluster at a few spots. den is damn damn itchy n yucky!!! so disgusting!!! argh!! itchy itchy itchy!!! *scratch scratch*