WONDERFUL NEW YEAR EVE!!!

i had a greatest new yr eve tis yr!!!! best of all!! why? go my darling by my side, few of my bestest fren that i ever have in life by my side moving on from 2005 to 2006!!! thanks to wan ping, gui jin, shi min and DAR DAR! they spent the new year eve with me!!!

friday nite dar stayed over at my hse, den we went over to his hse to get some stuff of his den move off to wan ping's hse at abt 5.30pm or so. we met guijin, shi min and gui pei(gj's sis) at farrer park mrt at 6.30pm. kekekee... made dar dar wore same t shirt as me~ hahha.. we both wore mickey mouse giodarno that yellow t shirt with jeans. hahah.. feeling so pai seh, funny, yet cool on the way.. haahaa.. but upon reaching farrer park, we realise we arent the only pair wearing couple clothes. hahhaa.. sm n gj also nehx!! kekeek... laughing our way., kekekee

we;re the first batch of frenz that reach wp's hse~~ realising that wp's bf not there n not gg to go~ we were so so angry!!! but what can we do? haiz.. dont know what happened between them too~ juz feel that he change so so much~~ anyway, change topic~~

we were there for the buffet, obviously i cant eat, so juz ate watermelon. kekeke.. den poor dar dar juz ate vege only... after the meal we went back to ping's rm. Uncle got us a bottle of red wine n they satart drinking in the rm. i tot red wine is fine, not very high alcoholic content. so they juz drank happily. after the first bottle, they return the empty bottle n uncle gave them another.. so here comes the second one. ping brought in her laptop n show us some funny indian guy's comedy show~~ i kinda bad in eng la~~ so quite a lot cant catch, still need darling to explain while laughing.

soon after the show ended, jin started to feel giddy n all.. so scary sia~~ first time see ppl got drank. she felt terrible so started crying.. scared me~ den after tat start talking stuff, den start laughing non stop. it was so contagious that i started laughing till my tummy so pain sia~~ hahaa... den after that she started talking words right from her heart that she has been hiding.. i cried upon hearing those stuff.. she seems to feel so terrible.. poor ger~~

after that we had a count down outside. keke.. we missed the count down actually. till ppl say happy new yr den we know count down over. missed the fireworks too!!! saded. but nvm~ got jin, ping, n darling by my side!!!

after that we went back to ping's rm, jin felt sleepy so she went to slp, sm was there with her, darling went missing... after that came back though. both sm n jin sleeping, dar also slept. pei dont know what to do also sit down there. den i went down all alone to look for ping lor.. she was there playing majong with her frenz. me? dont know how to play, juz sit down there doing nth. after that pei came down also looks bored n dont know what to do~ den dar came down. watch the soccer, den see them playing majong.

after the neighbouring table ppl left n jin they all came down, we start playing majong. hahhaa.. dont know how to play. anyhow hum tum. hahhahja.. quite fun! first time touching majong! hahaha.. so cool!!! know a bit bit now~ kekekee....

den we left. coz late le.. took cab back. great day!!!! all thanks to WAN PING< GUI JIN< GUI PEI< SHI MIN< AND < DARLING!!!!

xmas~~

actually i was thinking, pondering whether i shld blog this down anot~ becoz i dont wanna leave any note of misery down anywhere to remind myself of sad things that happened to me~~ but in the end~~ i decided to blog it down~~ becoz~~ i really need to~~ i know i wont look back to my previous articles to see what i've wrote to remind myself of the pain~~ i juz hope that once i throw it into the computer~~ i'll forget it and leave it to the com.

this xmas is the worst xmas that i ever will have. though is the most holy one~ but is the worst. it makes me feel like i'm cursed~~ i'm cursed to be lonely for all my festive seasons. the first left me before v day, second left me before xmas~~ n yet.. the third. the one i love most, the one i treasure most, the one that love me most~~ the one tht.. i hate to see him cry n hurt him most~~ i got no choice but to leave him all alone this xmas to go for some holy class...

i really dont know~~~ dont know how to make it back~~ i know i cant make it back in any way, there is not another 2005 xmas.. but my love, my heart, my mind is still all with u~~ i left u something that i hope u wil like it... i hope that can represent me in bringing light to u when i'm not ard. i love u~~

u might feel that i can choose, i can rebel, i can juz go with u n fell out with my parents. but it is really something i cant do~ i'll try hard to gain my independent. trust me.

i love u!!

merry xmas

SO ACCURATE~~

wow~~ yesterday something funny happened~~ actually is the day b4 la~~ hhahaha

okay~ was talking to my collegue~ den her "scandalous" was like msging her n all~~ some nerdy guy la~~ but we think he like her la~~ den msg here n there~~ den i say sacarly later he msg ask u go for lunch~~ she was like..: "er.. better not~~" in the end~~ that guy really asked her out for lunch sia~~~ wahaHAHAHAH

den after that we talk talk~~ den dont know why talked abt she taking transport~~ den i asked her~~ " have u ever missed ur stop?? if missed den how?? what will happened??" den she told me so far she has NV missed her stop~~ nv slept till nv wake up b4~~ n ON THAT VERY DAY!!! she actually really over slept n almost missed her stop lor~~~ wahahahhahaha... but luckily got ppl wake her up la~~ den she was like~~ wow~~ eerie!!!

hahaha.a.. yup~~

today work?? boring~~ realise ppl there are com idiots~~ really know nuts abt com~~ only simple stuff they can do~~ den helped "witch" to do her com job today~~ SO COLD!! her place is like antartica sia~~ damn damn cold~~~ freezed!!

boring day~~ ended!!!

st john~~

wow~ i went st john for the wkend~ which is totally cool~~ but.. kinda short~~

27/11/05
we set of from my hse to raffles place mrt~~ we took nel to outram den to raffles place~~
den reach there at abt 9.15am~~ one of the latest~ ops~~ coz i tot is 9.20am meet there~~
den we waited for food and some in charge to come with the food~~ they reached abt 10++ i guess~~ den we set of to st john by boat~~
looking at the movement of the boat~ starting so not use to it~~ felt giddy for quite some time~~ den after that quite alright~~ stood at the back of the boat~~ in the open place~~ quite crowded but was cool~~ dar dar was sweet, he actually tot of bringing guava with prune powder scare i'll feel giddy n vomit in the boat~~ but i was fine~~ no one vomitted actually.

abt 11+ we reached the island~~ waited outside our bunk for quite some time coz they went to office to get the keys n all~~ at the mean time we had our first activity, drawing grp FLAG!! hahaa.. 4 grps in total, tok gong, ai zai, gang hor,gong gong~~ yup~~ i'm in gong gong n dar dar in ai zai and JY.. er.. i only know first grp but dont know the name~~

soon after we got the bed sheets n all~~ forgot where i went or what i do~~ wasnt at my bed when they distributing the bed sheet n dar dar did the bed sheet thingy for me~~ so nice n tidy~~ thanks dar~~ so SWEET! kekee...

after lunch we started our program~~ first with our wonderful story of a past saint "SHUN". he is an emperor. YS N ER really can act sia~~ so so funny~~ n Ber.. funny birdy~~ lol.. and YM is the ELEPHANT~~ skinny elephant~~~den moved on to some introduction of our whole program thingy, the religious stuff.. quite dry but informative~~

den to the cooking of maggie mee~~ we used mass tin~~ used stones at the base to stable the tin~ den got solid fuel~~ 6 matches to light up the solid fuel~~ i know nuts abt all those~~ so the guys did the stuff~~ all i do is juz cooking the mee~~ n almost got he whole thing down the drain coz the base wasnt stable~~~ but in the end we are the first grp to omplete cooking the mee and taste the best~~ lol~~

den after that~~ hmm... got some outdoor treasure hunt thingy~~ that was like COOL~~ juz too short n not challenging enough~~ but was quite fun~~ 4 stations.. one is to act some part of scriptures out~~ one is to run abt looking for some one resemble some sage and look for some password~~ one is to go round doing survey at a very quiet empty place like st john..lucky we manage to complete the task~~ n lastly is to join up some stuff la~~ after that was BBQ!!
n dar dar got alot of nice extra food~ he was all the while doin the bbq stuff~~ scare he nv eat den i feed him here n there~~ ppl complain we too sweet~~ hahaha... while others ask is he my elder brother~~ wahahahaha.. but here i conclude he is my DARLING> DEAR> LAO GONG!! after that got nite trail actually but me n dar dar didnt go~~ continue doing up last part of the bbq~~ he made a great food that all likes sia~~ so nice so crispy so wow~~ lol.. n all juz chiong for it~~

actually didnt wanna slp~~ wanna go beach area have some romantic time with dar dar~~ but they didnt allow~~ say too dangerous~~ so watched movie~~ but was too tired~~ den went slp at abt 2 i guess~~ no watch dont know time~ den got some blind folding stuff~ some water games~~ dar was like so so fast la~ got all ppl wet~~ hahaa.. but the water was like not very deep la~~ no fun!!! den cant go far too~~ sianded~~~

den after that lunch~ prize presentation~~ nothing much le~~ yup~~
went back home~~ yeah~~
enjoyed~~~
I WANT THE PIX!!!
=)

i hurt him~~

hai... long story that i dont want to remember~~ but i've hurt him~~ again n again make him unhapy n sad~~ not because i've done anything that betrayed him.. but.. juz make him sad~~

darling i love u..
nothing gonna change my love for u~~
u are the one n only for me this life n forever
i dont know what to do to cheer u up~~
i juz wanna see the sunshine smile u use to have again~~
hearing u trying so so hard to talk properly in tears..
really HURT me so so hard~~
i juz cant stop tearing thinking of u crying all alone on ur bed~~
darling~~ i wont let u go~~
never~~ no matter what~~ i'm urs.. u are mine~~
nth can change this fact~
thanks for the love u've given me~~
thanks for the care u've shown~~
thanks for the tears u've shed for me~~
thanks for the change that u've done for me~
i can see~~ i can feel~~
i love u with all my heart n soul~~
darling~~ i LOVE u~~

why m i like that?

sometimes i really wonder~~ why m i like that~~ i used to be so so contented with my life~~ so happy with everything ard me when i was a kid~~ when i start growing up~~ things changes.. i have my own views i have my own friends i have my own things to do~~ yet i dont have my own freedom, own choice, own world. i always admire ppl with firm character~~ do what they want~~ what they feel is right, defiant to parents at times to get their way thru. yet i can't. i really can't. i'm born in a way that as long as all are happy, i m happy~~

life shld be simple n happy~~ juz come to a conclusion that all are happy with.. will be gd le~~ BUT the complication comes when it is always not the case as all ppl have different views on different aspect. Y?? cause they live in a different environment, met with different ppl, different encounter, learn different things, see the world n life differently. thru experience, they have their own believe, perspective, mindset. u cant possibly have all to live life the same way. hence, all grow to have different mentality~

the problem arise here~ one family has more den one person~~ everyone got their on thinking and problem will arise~~ so who wins in the end?? of course the ones with louder voice, strongest stand will win~~ but doesnt mean those who juz kept quiet will lose. juz that they dont wanna talk in anger~~ they prefer to talk things out after all has cal down~~ calming down is real hard~~ i always cant do it too~~ getting too emotional is bad too~~ how?

i also dont know how~~ cox i also cant control my emotions too.. at times i feel like juz vanish in thin air... so that all problems will be solved. as i dont have to face them. sometimes i feel like juz running away totally. from my restricted home n go~~ but i've got my responsibility as a child. sometimes i feel like running away from the relationship~~ but I LOVE HIM!! SO SO MUCH!!! that i DONT want to. sometimes i hope that i'll get knock down by a car~ so that both my parents n darling will know that both parties love n care for me alot~~ and they can work hand n hand to see me recovering~~ sometimes i juz hope i can marry off straight away, so that i can at least break free from one side of the story~~

i know running away isnt a gd way~~ i m still thinking of a solution~~ i m trying to~~ really hope both my dar dar n my parents and stay in peace n harmony~~ hope to see them being happily together~~ coz they are all the ppl i LOVE MOST in the whole wide world~~ can lose anyone~ but THEM!!

lost weight!!!

me n dar dar got sweeter den before le~~
lol... so happy~~ we got so sweet.. reunion le~~ lol~~ okay.. gg mad~~

okie.. today weighed! lighter le~~ now 77kg!! kekee..
den got ppl say i look pretty den slimmer~~ wahhahahahaha..

so happy today.. making a secret pressie for dar dar for our 4th month

YES!! 4th month is coming!!! fast right?
wahhahahahahaha...

kekeke.e.. k la~ kinda crap here...

yesterday cla paper done le~ now with maths n chem le~~ jia you!!!!!!!

a very wrong moved

told him something i shldnt have told him yesterday... haiz...

my mum n i were talking den suddenly she brought the issue that my relatives like dont have very gd impression of him... he used to be asking alot about how my parents thought of him and all.. so i decided to let him know abt that.. haiz.. i was a wrong moved...

because i told him that.. den he actually got very bu shuang abt my uncle.. cause it was juz recently that my uncle saw him~~ juz we brought this issue up~ haiz... dar use to say that he don't want to have any tea ceremony when we got married. dont even want to have any wed dinner.. i was quite upset cause to me that marks the start of our marriage and is when that i can announce to the whole world i found my mr right who will love me and dote on me forever..

not long ago.. he got to know a fren of mine.. changing his thinking of not having a tea ceremony and the wed dinner.. because he found out that it is a gd way to so call earn back the money we use for the whole wedding thingy. den he agreed to have all that.. i was so delighted.. because my dream of my wedding day is going to become reality again~~~

haiz.. but all things juz ruin in my hands... i actually told him abt the impression thingy making him dislike my uncle now and saying that no more tea ceremony and he will nto be invited to my wedding dinner... my that uncle is my god father as well.. he dote on me alot too.. i really hope to have his blessing for my marriage too.. n hope dar dar can get along well with him too.. but now things turn out to be otherwise.. dreams is back to dreams again~~ haiz.. i made the very wrong moved...

our third month~~

our third month falls on a friday.. dar dar normally will go home after he is release from his camp and we normally will only meet up on saturday morning.. but this day.. he came my hse!!! ekekeke.. so happy~~ we spent the whole night together.. din do much stuff.. but juz sit down talk talk... den exchange pressie~~

he was so so sweet.. he actually spending lots of his time doing cross-stitch for me~~ meltz~~ cant imagine the process.. a guy making a cross stitch~~~ wonder if he had ever made one for his ex... hmmm... oh!! and her gave me a necklace~~ kekeke.. to tie me up?? lock up my heart to be juz for u? kekekee.... nice necklace.. is a heartshape den.. but is like 2 heartshape putting together making up a 3 D effect~ dont know how to describe. dont have good vocab here.. ops! kekekee...

i gave him a book. juz a book that hopefully he is still interested in and help him in his interest~ yup!

love u forever!!! HAPPY 3RD MONTH!!! and the 4th is coming~~ what shld i do for him???

mum's operation~

ya~ as my title goes.. my mum really went for an operation not long ago.. she had some.. er.. chinese is called niao shi jing n if i m not wrong is some bladder tension thingy. ya...

she went to KK hospital and had her operation~~ it was a minor operation so wasnt that bad~~ she was admitted a day before.. den the next day she had a minor operation which lasted for think around 2 hours?? after which den she got to rest there for a day.. den the next day can go home le~~ dar dar went with me to fetch her back~~

we thought that everything is gonna be fine.. but when she's back.. she said that the problem still persist.. sianZ~~ den she went back for appointment and the doctor said that it is juz the initial state.. it will be better.. but after a few days.. the doctor called back and said that my mum got to be admitted again for a second round of operation~ she say that she will charge her lesser as she felt bad not being able to cure her for the first time too..

den another whole day spent in hospital again. luckily.. she is feeling better now.. no more leakage when she has cough or when she's sneezing.. initially she is not allowed to do a single hsework.. but now she's able to do some light job le~~ yeah~~ but now... haiz.. coz mummy din work for a month and is not allowed to work for another 2 more months.. sobz... our family is having a financial problem soon~~ hopefully i'm able to start work straight after my a levels so that i will be able to at least lighten their load by not taking money from dad or sis anymore~~

so long nv blog le~~

it's been a long time since i last blog in.. think.. is really long le la... cant track back.. so so so many things happened in the period of time.. dont know where to start too.. hmm... guess... er... i really dont know. i shall start from what i wanna write today.. will put in more entries with the events that happened.

tml is the start of my a level. scary isnt it?? tml is my chem practical... monday is my CLA!! oh man~~ how how how?? hmm.. anyway.. i guess i m more prepared than i m last yr. at least i know what is going on in sch and all.. tuition did paid off as i m getting better with more personal help. however, sad to say.. havent start working i m having debts le.. luckily is without interest.. gd teacher!!! kekeke...

tml is dar dar's last paper after the 3 months.. den he'll be moving on to tuas to work le~~ wonder if that is good or bad~~ wonder if he'll be more busy or less. wonder will we have more time together or not..

today saw TY(godsis) scary la~ she like slim down so so much till like a bone in skin ?! her diet is that she dont eat lunch n no rice for dinner~~ oh man!! n i told her that she needs to get on some weight yet she says she wanna lose 2 more kg~~ she is crazy la~~ looking so so bony n unhealthy la~ scary... i hope i won't be like her.. using the same diet but with a low fat n carbo lunch instead of none. i s till prefer her to be "Fatter?" ya.. not like now~~~

den today went ning's hse.. called the agency for a job in some bank~ that was ning's agency in the past. den sent my resume in n all her reply was thanks for the resume.. hope she's able to get me a job~~ heard that i still need to go for interview~~ scary~~ nv been to any interview in my whole entire work life~~ may god be with me~~

today got to prepare for tml's pract... cannot talk to dar dar.. guess he muz be missing me like mad~~(HE BETTER BE~~ lol) i'm missing him too~~

~~shopping day~~

today is shopping day~~ hahhahaa.. meeting my great beloved friend knowing her since sec 1 the great thannaletchimy d/o thannagopal.. hahaha.. aka.. sara wilcox. hahhaa.. yup.. she is indeed a special fren of mine as she does speaks CHINESE!!! fluent chinese... (note: fluent doesnt mean chim complex or high standard of chinese) hahaha.. yup.. so.. how come we meet?? why??? it is all because of the great mooncake that she remembers my presence.. haix.. kinda sad to know that i am equivalent to a mooncake.. but it's okay.. we got to meet and see each other!! wow!! hahaha.. yup..

we suppose to meet at orchard mrt at 11am.. but so so so happened that we met at bishan mrt station and went orchard together.. she became so so skinny.. so thin.. envy.. but she follwing a strict diet.. almost like what i about to start with.. scary... but with the effect that i've seen~ i guess i'll have more confident to slim down le~~ she wanted to get a french dictionary as she is studying french now.. hahaha. so we went kinokuniya first~~ after she found her french dictionary.. i went on to find a present for my dar dar..hope that he din get it before me~~ i doubt he is able to get till next month la~~ haha.. coz last copy and i order from them de~~ kekeke..

next up we went to taka foodcourt for lunch.. share one plate. yup.. hahhaa.. with a cup of lime juice.. den went to hmv to get the vcd that her brother wanted.. haha.. but in the end.. all the way there and found out that not out yet.. den we move on to scotts road for yumi yogert!! so so nice!!! healthy too.. hahaha.. 97% fat free.. kekeke.. with strawberry toppings.. yummy!! hahahaha...

okay.. so we are back to wisma.. yup.. went to charles and keith to look for shoes.. hahhaa.. she got a 20% voucher.. so we both looked ard and got ourselves 2 pairs of slippers each.. nice nice de.. one pair is same de.. the other is not.. spent $45.50 on both shoes.. heart ache!~ but all my shoes spoil le.. no choice... yup.. but really nice and comfy. yup! another gd thing is they got bigger sizes.. so that i'm able to get it. hahhaa...

den went on to pepperplus to look around as she's planning to get some skirts.. in the end she got a pants and a skirt.. nice nice.. hai.. slim le wear wat ever also nice.. so gd!!!! i oso want to be like that!! ahhaha... yeah!!!!

after that walk around... found a place to sit den we chat chat a while den went back home le.. same journey back~~ yup.. oh~~ we met 2 ppl today.. while walking towards charles and keith.. she met her crush.. R ... hahah.. den she was so so happy~~ keke.. after that when we went back.. we saw Zi yuan at the mrt station.. haha.. so long nv see le~~ still as pretty.. haha.. more famine lor~~ yup!!! kekee...

4.20 reached home.. tired.. den slp.. haha.. 6++ woke up.. wanted to msg dar tell him i wake up le.. den juz tot if we are linked.. as in mentally in mind in heart... he will msg me de.. went toilet to relief my bladder and there.. he really sent a msg to me!!!! hahaha.. love you dar dar!!!!

day trip to ikea~

hehe.. last saturday dar dar goldfish and me we all go ikea together.. hahaha.. why?? buy the wok my mummy want.. kekeke.... 8.50 nia lehz.. cheap cheap sia... kekekee...

we suppose to walk to the 147 bus stop la~~ den i.. haha... i lost my way.. den we walked a long long way b4 we reach the bus stop.. den got on the bus and the journey was.. wow.. almost an hour long~~

here we reach ikea~~ cool~~ the place is so so big!! so so fun!! got to see how different type of furniture make up a wonderful place.. den think abt how we should design our future hse.. the different things we like to place in our hse and all.. den nice nice weird weird furniture..yeah!! that;s the way man!!!

after that went hagendaze... dont know how to spell la~~ ya. the ice cream shop.. wow. the ice cream so so nice~~ the crunch.. so so tasty... wow.. nice man~~ hahahaha.. love it~ den after that sit there talk talk.. wah!! $51.20 for 3 only wor.. ex nehz.. heartache for him ar~~ but nice wor.. hehehe....

after that came back home eat long tong.. nice nice.. mummy make day.. eat n eat all day.. fatter le la~~~

dont leave me in silence..

this few days.. we din talk much.. din meet him last wk.. miss him so much... yet.. seems like we have nth to talk on the phone le~~ dunno why.. been thinking why.. but no ans even when i msg and ask.

he called me ytd.. twice.. yet.. din talk much too... juz a few sentence den put down le...

miss those days...

missing you...

missing the love u used to shower me with..

miss those talk rubbish days...

miss those sweet moments we had together...

miss the secure feeling u gave me...

miss you~~

do you miss me too??

frankly... i can take it even u dont...

i wun do silly things to force u to be mine...

juz be frank with me~~

....

hmm... wonder why.. wonder why i got so much so in love with him le.. hai.. wonder is it a gd thing a not.. i felt that i a bit too possesive le.. like.. i juz want to be with him all the time.. want to know wat he is doin.. want to know everything abt him.. all his frenz.. wanna know how to be the only ger that he'll want. i actually shld trust him... but sometimes.. it's really hard for me to trust a person when i really fall for him.. i start to wonder if he really like me.. start to wonder if i'm in his heart all the time...

at the beginning.. we msg almost every min every sec.. soon... we talk on the phone when i got home... den he got quite poor den cant really msg that much.. in the end only get to talk at nite... when we are both free... miss all the msges that i got.. miss those time when i felt so much loved... when time pass.. i grown to have a fear in me.. i scared he'll go.. i scared he'll leave me.. i scared he'll juz go without telling me... without knowing why he's gone. i'm scared that coz i got too possesive that he'll dislike me.. scared coz i love him too much that he got sick of me.. scared that one day if he found his ideal ger.. i will have to leave... so much fear in me that i dunno wat to do..

i really felt that i'm getting too possessive but i dun want to. i wanna let him has his freedom. has rm of his own do wat ever he want. sometimes i will wonder if our difference make him dun want me as his ger... the more i got myself into the relationship... the more i will think.. think abt whether he truely like me anot.. think abt whether the more he knows abt me.. the more he will like me or the less he will like me..

i think i'm really thinking alot.. maybe i too sensitive.. little things will make me wonder alot n think pessimistically... i juz cant help be being like that...

i miss you.

5683 366 4382

my parents and sis went back msia le~~ on last saturday.. and from that day till now i'm alone at home.. saturday went hospi see XH mum. so scary... the moment i saw i really cant stop myself to tear lor.. she turn so so skinny~~ hate to see that lor~ den she semi conscious.. sad scene...

after tat went to religious class with CW.. stupid ger.. in the end make use of me den go out with her bf.. win liao la~~ owe me a life le ar~~

den the next day is 7th aug!!! me n dar's 1st month!!! kekeke.e. he gave me a bottle with stars and capsule supposedly with some strips of papers with words on it inside.. in the end.. accident happened.. he took back that bottle say pass me next time.. he gave me a box with a nice smelling little.. er.. pillow? inside. hahahaa.. kinda china.. but is nice~ coz from dar dar ma~~ den we went simei that pet safari to see see look look.. den lots of cute dogs lo.. the husky so nice~~ but the eyes very scary.. den got one very carpet looking dogging.. so furry and soft like dat lor.. very cute~~ hahahaa... after that we walk ard that east point. den came back.. preparing to go kick boxing.. in the end nv go.. haahaa.. den stayed at home.. talk.. den he use com.. den i went to watch tv.. haha. shang hai noon.. nice wor... den he came out watch with me a while.. den went into the kitchen dunno do wat.. in the end he was cutting fruits for us to eat~~ kekeke.. nice fruits.. sweetest ever.. felt so great!! like newly wed couples like dat!! hahaha.. died!!! got a sudden urge to marry him!! ops.. hahahaha

actually was some unhappy thingy ytd too.. coz i need to be back home to pray by 5pm.. den he plan actually to bring me see pets den go his hse watch initial D de.. in the end.. coz of me having to come back den spoil his plan.. sorry dar dar.. he got quite worked up.. hai.. see him like dat i oso duno wat to say.. den i suddenly tot i might loose him some day some how coz of my religion and believe.. or coz of my mum or wat ever.. my wonderful future of living with him suddenly seems so blur.. hai.. keep thinking shld i gif all out in the relationship.. coz i really scared. scared that if one day he turn to me n say.. "i cant take it anymore!! let break up!" wah!!! kill me man!! i really duno wat i will do then la~ suddenly thinking i shldnt love him so much anymore~~ but i still cant keep all my love that i've already given out.

but later the day.. he said he's at fault too.. shld be more understanding twd my life and learn to adapt to it.. Lao Gong~~ love u so so so much.. thanks for all u are doing for me and gg to do for me~ cant wait for 4 yrs later... he reassured me that we will love till eternity!! love ya boy~~

SHE DUN UNDERSTAND, SHE'S NOT UNDERSTANDING AND SHE'S NOT TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

hai.. my mum.. today i told my dad i'll be back by ard 8++ den in the end i reach home at abt 9+ den in the end.. kena black face again.. for the past few days.. she's been giving me this black face all the while.. since the day that i went tuition from 11pm till 1am.. she's so so so unhappy abt it.. den till yesterday shes still not very much talking to me.. only until last nite.. den she got talk to me a bit bit.. but today.. hai.. back to norm.. say i dun regard this home as my home. always not in at all.. wat is call i'm always at home den?? since monday till friday i've been coming back straight after sch and all.. din go out. din stay out till late nite. only ytd went out studying with ning n mark.. den today went dar's hse.. tt;s all!! is that too much?? my only 2 wkend i only want it to be days where i can do wat i want!! but den.. she juz unhappy abt it.

wat ever i do .. she''s always bu shuang.. i did the hse work.. i did do watever i can to help.. though at times i'm really lazy or tired.. but if i can.. i wil help.. but she juz dun see it.. when i have the money.. i dun ask from them.. i even will get things for them.. but she dun see it.. well.. i dunno why.. she's juz so so against me~ ever since she know tt i'm attached.. she's becoming so so weird.. i dun like this her!!! she says i dun like to come home.. so she;s giving me black face wanting me to realise that i'm at fault. isnt that funny!! i dun haf the ability to read mindS!!! moreover.. i dun see that i'm wrong!! in addition.. the more black face i get.. the more i'm unwilling to be at home.. so.. conclusion.. the vicious cycle will juz go on n on!!! juz hate it!!!

sian totally

hai.. daddy juz came in.. saying he had already took the leave on 8th aug le... SIAN TOTALLY LA... my first month with dar dar is on 7th.. the trip to msia is from 6th till 9th... OUR SUNDAY!!! gone!! sobz.. i dun wanna disappoint him.. he said he will throw away wat he made for me if i m unable to turn up.. but.. hai.. i really wanna see him i really will miss him too.. i really hope to spend my first month anniversary with her too.. i really want!!!! but.. hai.. why?? why always like dat??
sian la~~~

KILL ME!!!

4 days cant contact HIM!!!!!!! argh!!!!

KILL ME!!!

wat a wk

alot of things happened recently... really alot~

let's start with something not so pleasant. She disappoint me alot.. we treat her as our great fren. share all our sorrows and happiness with her.. trying hard to work hard together n go into uni together.. we really dun wanna see her juz give up at the very last lap.. we wanna help her.. but She juz cant see how hard we are trying to help her.. how much we are doin to help her and how much we really care for her.. She hurt her mum so so much.. She juz got so blind by all her personal thoughts that She duno how much her mum is worrying for her. She juz know that she is feeling very stressed up and vex by her own problem but She nv realise that She has hurt and disappoint so so so many ppl... She juz went missing.. juz missing... vanish in the world n no one can be able to reach her except HIM. i hate HIM. really HATE HIM. i use to have neutral feeling for HIM. treat HIM as a fren.. BUT NOW... i saw the real HIM. the selfish HIM the HIM that is always presenting a gd front ONLY! hai.. i'm realy very ANGRY at HIM.
She started my gear on the study an strive hard.. She scolded sense into us and worried for us when we are kinda off track and distracted... She pulled us all back on track. BUT NOW... She herself juz jump out of the track having a great berlin wall in between us not allowing us to even express how we feel abt it...
NOW all things have come to a conclusion.. she still MIA... sometimes i really cant stop myself to think that we are losing one great fren coz of HIM. HE bring abt all this problem. HE is the culprit of all.. if not for HIM. things wun turn out this way. is HIS fault! i will NV forgive HIM ever! NV!
( i might sound very much in my extreme mood.. but that's how i feel at this moment. i;m really very angry and disappointed. we really will accept all ur decision but think properly and pls... we are not fren becoz we are in the same sch and having the same aim and the frenship dun end with juz u leaving the sch.. but with u not wanting to contact us and trust us as ur fren anymore~)

forget abt that.. now abt my own thingy. mY parents know abt my dar dar le.. on sunday.. though i nv see much sign of approval but i oso see NO sign of denial. hahhaaha.. i love DAR DAR.. kekee... but sad to say.. our first month anniversary i have to go Msia!!!!!! i dun wanna go!!! first time lehz.. having a FIRST MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! i wanna spent it all with dar dar. juz dar dar n no one else.. but.. hai.. hope my dream can come true...
we talked alot yesterday.. and i promise him i will score AAB or at least BBC for my A level this yr n i REALLY WILL! i have the motivation now n i will strive hard to get it there! love u dar dar.. i wun leave u n pls dun leave me... even u want to.. dun leave me in silence.. do let me know abt it~~ love ya lots.. 520 184 1314 3344...

Dar dar house

hehehee... very long nv blog le hor?? hehehe.. my stupid com a bit the cannot make it le.. stupid!!!! type one letter den come out alot of letters... lazy to use that stupid com le la~~ sian..

now at dar dar's hse~ hahah!!! he now cooking spaghetti~ wow.. jing de liao chu fang chu de liao ting tang de gd dar dar nehz~~~ hehee.. lazy to type le la~~ wahahahhahaa...

hmm.. k k.. shall continue.. went east coast this morning with Pei Pei and Pei Wen... hehehehe... PP dunno how to cycle.. we manage to teach her today wor.. ahhahaa.. such an achievement.. but butt very pain ar~~ sobz.. hahahahah.... but PP very poor thing .. though she nv fell... but still got alot of scars and injuries.. poor ger~~ *sayang*

k la.. lazy to type le la.. really end here le.. hehehee.. looking fwd to more outings~~ hahahahaha

tata~~~