(=OnE n OnLy=)

New Blog

2007-10-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

I've a new blog. all in chinese, maybe i am better in chinese so prefer to blog in chinese. I have time still will blog here i suppose. yeah. and the link is by the side.

http://tinkledreamz.blogspot.com

see ya!!!

I SAW TORNADO LIVE!!!!

2007-05-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

Oh my!! today something BIG happen in my life!!! i SAW a TORNADO LIVE!!!!!! cool right? but scary as well la... though is a small scale one~ is once in a life time ma~ not as if i keep gg onto the sea right? so wow. keke... sad that dont have a good camera with me.. if not can take photo of it!! if the guy that took photo send me the photo i will confirm paste it here man!!! keke.. we shall wait n see...

today work till 5pm nia~ kekee... later got tuition. sad. if not can go out. but.. money come first! yeah. so sad~ sea EX this sunday! woo... canoeing wor~ hope nth happen this sunday~~ GOD MUST BLESS US WOR~~~

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PPL?

2007-05-24T01:59:00.000-07:00

yesh!! what is wrong with the ppl at the bus stop? if u feel that u are going to be late or what, wake up earlier and get earlier buses that dont have the crowd, why must u sleep till whatever time u like, miss a few buses due to the crowd then in the end get on the bus from the exit claiming that u have been waiting for very long? being so thick skin n irritating when the rest also wait patiently for their turn to get on the bus? those ppl are just oo irritating!!!

i really hope one day there will be someone throwing them down the bus let them know the right way to get onto a bus. people in sg just too "nice". they just hate to create scene and hence ppl out there that are nasty enough will win. in stead of getting on the bus from the back push the ppl inwards la~ why must u guys do such things to make ppl hate u???

though i know i write this they also wont get to see, or even they wont understand cause they are those uncivilised aunties and uncles. BUT STILL I HATE IT!!!

will time fade of the feeling or cause the relationship to die down?

2007-05-22T22:33:00.000-07:00

relationship is really something very difficult to cope with. one really learn alot and grow up in a relationship. You will learn to accept the strength and weakness of your love one, will got to learn and accept the differences both of u have, got to tolerate with things that you cant stand yet is in him, got to shower him with love though sometimes it hurts on ur side.

thing ppl who view my blog will realise my entry is mostly on my relationship. A bit dramatic i guess, always say till like we gonna break but in the end happy ending. I'm glad that i always end up happy but i am scare that some days things might be different. i put in all i have for this relationship, i really love him alot. i can feel the same from him too, yet seems like not again.

to me, he is just very very complicated. i dont know how to say but just very complicated. in a way he is simple, in a way he is complex. haiz...

dont know.

dont know.

dont know.

wOrkIng!!

2007-05-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

yesh!!! i am working already. Currently working in ITE east si mei. Yup! hehee... working under the HR admin Dept. Know couple of nice people around. Rose is the one that i am helping out now and she is VERY helpful!!!

I actually got to leave this place this friday. So.. i actually have the assignment for 2 wks only. But glad to say i am allowed to stay till end june! YEAH! thanks to the new staff that is unable to make it till later date. HAHAHAA... And of course must thank my dear ROSE and myself la! hahaa... if not she help me ask i also cant get, if not for my hardwork also got nth right? kekee..

dArling was sick over the weekend. He so poor thing. visit me last weekend and got himself sick the next weekend. sob. Worst still, he got an exam on monday and he couldnt study for it due to the sickness. Poor boy... in the end he said the paper sure gone~ hopefully nt that bad~ *pray hard hard*

new hair style!!!!

2007-05-03T08:41:00.000-07:00

YOZ!!!! yesh! this is my new hair style.. cut it last thurday on the 26th of april!! wow... cool right? IT"S BOB!!! BY STEVE. hahaa.. yeah... dom's hairstylist steve. he is damn good la. very pro too.. used to look very ugly in short hair.. those who've seen should kNow.. but nOW!!! wahhahaa.. everyone say i look nice la.. KAWAII DES!!!!

cool.. like it.. so light.. so refreshing! dar keep calling me bob. hahaa...

yeah... today... kinda unlucky day.. went to high commission of malaysia to do my renunciation stuff.. wah.. then didnt bring daddy's photocopied birth cert! damn sian.. then they allow me to go home take then give them by 1pm though they close at 11. though is kind enough of them. BUT IS I RENUNOUNCE LEHZ!!!! not my parents ma.. want so many things for what.. the form all filled in relavent stuff le ma.. haiz...

then went home by taxi.. surprizingly is only ard 10 bucks.. tot will be much more... cause i feel that is quite far~ then took taxi back.. IT RAIN!!!!! i didnt take umbrella out lor~~ sian... was walking in the rain out to get taxi.. then... RAIN CATS N DOGS SIA... like god is also laughing at my stupidity lor.. all drench like just bath...

in the end... landed up at the petrol station to wait for the rain to get smaller.. then i go out to fetch a cab.. wah~~ come back so COLD!!!! Brrr.... bath le then slp. wake up feel like shit. sian.. coughing non stop. feel like got fever. headache.. etc..

haiz... today kinda down.. kinda suay... kinda fruastrated..

tml got interview.. at ite east campus.. wanna get yet dont want. cause it is quite inaccessible from here.. sian.. yeah... wanna get the tang ling shopping mall de.. but.. no.. sian... JOB!!! FASTER COME!!!

ARGH!!!!

2007-04-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

why can we never come to a conclusion?? why?? why cant we ever come to a compromise of what to do?

he will always rub salt into his unhappiness to my family, the way i do stuff, my attitude towards stuff, my forgetfulness and things like that.

i will always make a big fuss of his "friendliness", his way of treating his female friends, his group of female friends, his need of having female friends....

HAIZ... this has been a problem and always a big problem in our relationship but this hasnt been solved and donT kNow how to solve it!!!!!!

he has his need, and is having the freedom to have female friends. not as if i stopped him to have female friends, just that those he has makes me feel sucky. i just cant understand. he had friends that will take hugs, kisses and holding hands as friendliness, but i cant take it i told him. so why cant he change to having other female friend who kNows the basic distant and who will respect him as a friend when he reject those gesture.

just like he cant understand me at time, i dont understand him...

he said i understand him the most among all his gf, he said he love me to most, he said he treasure me the most, but~~ but~~ haiz....

i dont understand the need of finding those kind of female friends, i dont understand the need of gg to pub to relax, i dont understand.... am i nOt enough for him to feel good and complete? he told me i completes his life but he still request to knOw more female friends. that makes me feel like he needs more to complete his life. let me feel like i'm restricting his freedom, let me feel that i made his life less interesting and more boring, let me feel that i caused him to lose his female friends... if they are true friends... why will they leave u cause i feel uncomfortable about the closeness? why?

u left me with lots of question marks...

haiz...

why my xin fu simple times can nv really last... in the middle of it... things will happen... always will.... haiz....

maybe i think too much... maybe... dont know... lots of dont know....

I dont understand~~~

2007-04-12T03:50:00.000-07:00

after a long long while. ya... been busy with school work recently. hard to have time to blog it even it is something that bothers me alot. hai... now it is nearing my exam and kinda have more time to myself rather to the school or the hall.. so i can start blogging again. yup.

can see from my tone, my title and my words that i am not very in a great mood today. yup.
my grandma went to the hospital recently. initially she came to singapore. then she kept asking for food from us.. this and that. you knOw.. when old ppl start to behave abnormally, ppl will feel that it might be that she is leaving us soon~~ then she got kinda sick. couldnt eat. keep vomiting, then diahorrea...

then she went back to malaysia, stayed in my uncle's hse. she fell and went to the hospital. luckily she was fine.. nth much... not long after, she sick again. then went to hospital for a check and found out that there are 14 stones in her stomach. hence, she needed an operation. after the operation, she was very weak and all. then couldnt really walk. still cant really eat. problem still persist. she sounded very weak and start to talk quite abnormally. she dont really have much energy to talk too. that makes us more worried.

past few days, called back home and realise that doctor found something clogging her brain that caused her to not able to walk. she need some help to walk not like before anymore. it might be some blood clog due to the fall that she had, or might be some stuff in there. that we dont really kNow.

now she is back to yong peng. initially mum said nOt going back. but now~~ hai... they are gg back from friday evening till sunday morning. gosh!! had a tiff with my bf for saying that i am going back to msia on saturday. i went my way despite him being unhappy that i go oversea during exam period. now saying that i need to go on friday???? moreover when my mum said nOt going, i still msg him and told him that. hai...

sometimes i really dont understand him. why is he so strong on certain stuff yet so flexible on others. haiz.. i respect him therefore i told him in advance. but he in turn got angry with me and demanded for As for my result. doesnt mean if i stayed on for the weekend i will score an A isnt it? moreover, almost whole saturday is for tuition~~ including friday night too~~. sunday most likely meeting him. so? why is he so strong on it? i dont understand and couldnt understand....

happy birthday to me!!!!

2007-03-02T21:33:00.000-08:00

yesh!! my bday just over... 21st bday!!! on the 1st of march~~

27th of feb i had a celebration, booked a chalet and invited my frenz over for a vegetarian bbq!!! i thought i had lots of friends, invited alot of people but in the end, only 20plus came i guess. some are busy, some having exams, some have lessons till late night, i can understand, but the rest? no news~~~ haiz.. dont talk about.

i went for a play that day, then all the stuff leave to darling to bring them over.... i felt bad as there're really lots of stuff, but he said he can make it, so he really made it. Though i got tick off for not bringing certain stuff that i can bring along for my play. sorry darling~~~

then, i made a BIG mistake too.. i forgot to tell the caterer that it's at the chalet and to send it to the chalet. In the end, when he was half way to my hse, darling called and he was quite pissed off. haiz... here it goes... sorry again~~(nothing much i can say)

i kinda spoilt my own mood for the celebration though as i should do all things properly when i kNow darling is kinda bad tempered person. but in the end, when we reached, he still able to simmer down and stay throughout the celebration happily.

here, i wanna thanks darren (pei's bf) for being there the earliest despite having FYP to do.. he helped alot! i really mean alot! and keep dar dar entertained at the bbq pit too~~ then jin came and help me around here and there too.. THANK U LAO GONG!!! kekee...

then people start to come group by group. hereby i like to thank all presence~~

thank u dennis, qiao ming and gentle giant(junhao) for coming!! was quite shock that u guys came ask i didnt expect that. thanks guys. i'm touched!!

thanks to youxiang who came when initially all he knOws is just dom and me. thanks for staying up throughout the night telling me so many things~ thanks brother!

thanks to michelle with such a lovely present!!! and make such a nice card!!! thanks to her for coming down after closing the shop. so sweet of u to come even though u have to come alone. THANKS SIS!!!

thanks to zi yang who came down specially just to pass me my present and went off. thanks alot!!! i love ur present!! thanks!!!

thanks to yong qiang, tianying and weichen, the only 3 jcrc that made it down for my celebration. Thanks to yu xin who actually called to apologise when he cant make it. was quite touched by that. thanks to shun yuan who actually almost made it to come. though in the end he couldnt make it, i appreciate alot for the wishes and the invitation to K box!! keke.. thanks to joan who told me beforehand that she couldnt make it as she was sick, take care girl. as for the rest of the jcrc members, i was quite disappointed. in fact, very. i thought jcrc had bond us quite close together, but i guess not... too bad...

thanks to jia hong and tang ning from production that made it down to the celebration too!!! all the way from hall to pasir ris~~ cool~~ thanks for the present too~~ swannie, thanks for the wishes, how i wish u can be there too.. kekee...

thanks to shi fu!!! who came down despite his wife can give birth anytime man!!! oh cool!!! thanks shi fu!!! thanks wei ren and bernard for the gift too~~~

Lastly, a big big thank you to my ai ren, wan ping, who end quiz at 9pm, come all the way from nus to the chalet, being so so tired, giving me the wishes and showing the true friendship that really touched my heart. thanks ping~~ thank u!

OH!!! must thank my dear pei pei too~~ for being there when i got scolded till everyone left being there helping me entertaining my guest and celebrating with me!!! thanks man!!!

NOW, i want to thank darling for waking up early in the morning 6am to buy the ingredient for me, buy me nice breakfast, then went over to office, do his stuff, rush over to meet yx to register for his uni, then rush to florist to get me the 99 roses (so so sweet!! all hand pick by him personally!!!), get me such a wonderful heart shape cake~, brought all the stuff alone to the chalet (like an idiot that's what he said), setting up all the stuff, be my bbq man, clearing all the stuff for me, help me bring the stuff back home, giving me a wonderful bday celebration!!! thanks darling~~ without u i wouldnt be able to make this celebration come true~~ thanks darling!!!!

LOVE U ALOT!!!! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE FOR ME!!!

有了他,天天都是情人节

2007-03-02T21:18:00.000-08:00

特别吧? 这次的布络革(BLOG)是以华语来写的。没为什么，就想用华语。

情人节（2/14）
这对我来说是第二次有情人的情人节，很开心但也苦脑，他什么都有，害我不知买什么才好。最后决定做个起士蛋糕给他。是蓝梅口味的。而当天我们便来个DOUBLE DATE。哈哈！！他的好朋友夫妻便同我们一起庆祝这节日。

到了他朋友的店时，他便很温柔的亲了我的脸将礼物交给我。好甜哦！！！！真是甜到心里了！！！虽然不像别人一样有花，但我也满足了！！他送我一只 STITCH，睡眼惺忪的，好像他！！哈哈！！真可爱！！

后来，我们一同吃晚饭，然后一起去唱歌！！

好开心！有了他,天天都是情人节！！！！

Miss-Matched <<錯合>>

2007-02-11T01:45:00.000-08:00

Our Production "Miss-Matched" <<錯合>> had ended yesterday night at jubilee hall. It was wonderful experience that i ever had and i really love it!!! Great experience and is really different.

I used to be in the band, i thought the feeling will be the same after the performance. The achievement and happiness we get when we know we played it well and in harmony. However, it is so so different. When we were rehearsing in jubilee hall, it was so COOL! we were actually on the stage!! the feeling was great! fantastico!! hahaa...

I was acting a shy shy role where she only dare to admire someone secretly but never in action. Hence, till 25 still single. The greatest challenge for me in acting this is that I AM NOT HER!!! It is just the exact opposite. Everyone also scare that i couldnt make it. Even my director wrote in the letter after the whole performance pointing out that i was one of their worries. hahaha... I do have the same mentallity as the role, just i will react in a differet way.

On 9th feb 2007, 7.40pm, the show started. I was trembling feeling so so nervous. Still we have to act normal as if nothing is happening. The light was strong enough that we cant really see the audience. That was great help. So i thought, audience might be the reason for being scared. Then, while acting, they started laughing at the funny scenes we had. OH MY GOD!!! I felt so so GOOD!!! It was like, an amazing feeling that i never had. Felt so.... so... haiz... limited vocab dont know how to describe.

Then, all the trembing feeling started to fade off and excitement came. Felt so good and wanted to act to the best i can. After 4 months of training, i want to put up the best. I want to be into the role, i dont want to regret my life. Fire burning in me! haha... Half time came and the directors all came in and congrats us for being good in the first half. There were lots of unexpected laughters from the audience. Our scene alot of people thought that it is boring however, there were people laughing!!!!! oh my!!! so so so happy!!!

10th feb 2007, 10pm. Our final show ended!!! Kinda sad, kinda miss everything. Things seems to be going so so so fast! I couldnt even believe myself that i've already acted for 2 days! My friends told me i just dont look and feel like who i m on stage. I WAS JUST DAMN HAPPY LA! hahaa... because i succeeded!!! He even commented that it is too short a play!! means? HE ENJOYED IT! hahahaa.... COOL!

I really miss all the people that made this play a success! Thanks to all!!! too many to name. But ALL!!

hmm... is this healthy or not?

2007-01-30T02:57:00.000-08:00

In one of my previous entry, i talked about my relationship problem. Yesterday, darling told me he called his girl friends and told them that it's the end of their friendship. hmm... i really wondering is that healthy or not?

i never expected him to do that. all i thought of was just to get to know about those girls more. At least, to know their name (which till now i still dont know). But, it turn out that they just will not exist anymore. i really appreciate him for doing that, but i felt kinda weird. Is it really that friendship with opposite gender and relationship cannot co-exist at the same time?

i know saying all this is kinda bad~~ in a way, i should thank him for what he had done. Just that i find it a little extreme and i dont know what to do. Pondering.....

No matter what, i thank you for what u have done for me~ i appreciate everything you had done. Let's be more transparent with each other in the future k? Love u!

JIN's Bday!!!

2007-01-30T02:45:00.000-08:00

27th of Jan, the day where jin was born in 1986. BOOM!!! In 2007, SHE IS NOW 21!!! wow!!!

she had a bbq at east coast and we went! kekee... though that day was drizzling since morning and all, it was kinda lucky as her bbq was able to start and end without us getting in the rain!!! GOD BLESS!! we had great fun!!! ZX was going around showing poka card magic tricks. kinda cool!!! yet, i keep catching his loop holes.... woops.. kekee... fun la!!! but couldnt deny that he is really quite good!

When ping reached, we asked jin to take our present and open. We bought a cute cute bubble dress for her, white base with small black poka dots... so kawaii!!! then she went to put on and gave her the nice nice necklace ping bought!! so nice!! really cool la! she so so pretty!! then she wore that to cut cake!!!

then we had a very professional photographer, HS!! wow.. he was cool! he brought a thousand over dollar olympus camera!!! oh my!! that was like so COOL!!! then he took lots of pics for us. walking around taking artistic photos too!! kekee...

after which when jin is free from her phototaking session with all present, we aske HS to help the 3 of us take photos!! with his cool camera, we took lots of funny photos like those ghostly ones, funny ones, formal ones, artistic ones... COOL!! so fun too!!

then the sky looks quite threatening and hence we decided to pack up. we then go to sm's hse and chill out!!! bought supper and ate. yeah! talk, watch video, slack around and slp! kekee... cool place to slp in, even the sofa is better than my bed ar! hahahaa....

after we woke up we eat we talk we eat again then we talk again. hahaa... then i got to go back school for rehearsal already!

the rehearsal turn out to be good! they complemented on my acting that day! cool!! first time ever!! hahaahahaa... feeling so so good! yeah!!! great weekend!

PRESENTATION DAY!!!

2007-01-25T04:16:00.000-08:00

today had a presentation, is for my chinese classical fiction module. we are suppose to read, understand and tell the class a story <<李娃传>>.

during our preparation and all, everything was fine, quite good and we are happy doing it too. Fast and good! then sent over to let the teacher vet, she said was well done. then today, is the actual day. kinda nervous but alright, as it is just a small class. talk and talk and talk none stop. we took up almost whole tutorial which is an hour to present our stuff. COOL huh? First ever longest presentation i've ever done!! kekee...

after that was quite tired. survive through the next lecture with a good funny teacher. was so tired.

this two days having some stomach problem. keep feeling unwell at the stomach area. Like i have lots of gastric juice inside. dOnt kNow why like that. kinda donT like the feeling buT dont kNow what to do. so be it.

yesterday dar cooked spaghetti for me!!! SO NICE!!!!!!!!! and he got a dish, "口在心里", he put the nuts that my mum cooked into those small beancurd stuff, dou po, then fried it. SO SO NICE!!!!!!! love it. great dinner!!! thanks thanks!!! and he say he called that dish that is he feel that sometime he just dont knOw how to express himself, donT kNow what to say. ya lor..

thanks thanks!!!!

school reopen again!!!!

2007-01-22T04:42:00.000-08:00

yeah! new sem started. everything goes back again~ study and study again!! lucky i dont have to take any unfamiliar sub this sem. mostly chinese with one Craft of Writing. It is exempted for exam. so hahahhahahahaaha... one less exam!!!

since school starts, dar and i arent as sticky anymore. got school stuff to do, he also preparing to start school soon. however, i dont know why, dont understand why, since school starts, we have been quarrelling quite often. Almost everytime when we meet we quarrel. I DONT LIKE IT!!! IN FACT I HATE IT!!! but to him, it is normal in a relationship. tiny tiny things we got to quarrel. He'll just get angry over little little stuff that i really dOnt knOw how not to make him angry. I really wonder is it my fault or his. At times, he admit that it is his fault, yet, he still seems the same. At times, he just say, that is him. when he says that, i got nth much to say. Because i dOnt want to change who he is yet i dont feel that it is right. hai....

Relationship really takes alot to maintain. ALOT. It is really not something that kids can play around with if u are really putting in ur heart and soul. Having a good family is what i dream for. Having a loving husband is what i hope for. I'm not saying he is not, but sometimes, things i thought normal bf will do he dont. But at times, he does things that other guys wont too!

Guys and gers really think very differently.

1)When he tells me he is going out alone, i will want to go out with him too, thinking that how nice it will be if i am free and able to follow him. Yet he dont feel that way, he say is just because he wanna let me know where he is not want me down. As for me? if i tell him i am alone, i am expecting him to accompany me. To me bf must be there whenever u are lonely unless he is really being tied down with work.

2)He needs time for himself, i only hope i can spend all my time with him.

3)He sees crying as being weak, i see crying as a way for me to let out my emotions.

4)I hope for his surprises in hall, he need to know when i am going over to plan his time.

many many more.....

It is just me being too sensitive, and him being noT sensitive enough. Sometimes, i actually feel that he care for himself more than me. In the past, he claimed that i nOt spending enough time with him. Then i sacrifices all my time with my friend to be with him. Now, he claims that he need some time for his friends, i've just got to try to change myself to not expect to see him that much anymore. I understand his point that i see my friend everyday yet he dont. But, why initially he makes me so used to his presence?

Alot of time, he told me that i have my strength, i'm great inside out. He tries all ways to boost my self esteem. But little does he kNow, when we quarrel over gers stuff, "i'm not a guy who is lack of women" will just throw me back down to a no self esteem me.

I love him, for no reason, with no regrets. But if i am push to a limit, i dont guarentee that i wont leave. I hate to say this, but is really a fact. I'll try my best to maintain this relationship well, and please work with me too. Doing it alone is really tiring, very tiring.... LOVE YOU WITH ALL I HAVE, LOVE YOU TILL I DIE.

new year eve

2007-01-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

new year eve was quite a normal one. coz gj went msia, so couldnt have a proper gathering. in the end we decided to spend it ourselves. in the end, turn out to be quite boring. just had home cooked food, quite sumptous one, cooked by darling. then watch dvd and nth much.

i was a little sick too.. so dont really do much those 2 days. ya.

end~

Great X'mas 2006

2007-01-22T04:29:00.000-08:00

yeah!!!! had a great xmas 2006!!! darling plan half the stuff and we went out with gj, sm, wp and wa. yeah!!!

it's been long since i've blogged le. missed me? wahhahaa..

that day was drizzling, i wore my best outfit, put a little make up and head down to orchard to meet them as we plan to had some ice cream little gift exchanging thing. the HUMAN JAM was bad!!! really just couldnt move, i swear i'll not go orchard during festive seasons again!! terrible!!

then finally met them. so cool!! it's been long since we all gather again. and a new member too!!! anyway, swensens was too packed. we decided to go starbucks instead. Darling was great at breaking ice. though wa was new, we able to joke and laugh at ease leading by darling!!! After which we went for movie!!! HUANG JIN JIA BY JAY CHOU!!! was kinda... bad show as the only good things about the show is the effects, the story was kinda boring. After which we went flare, saw his friend that he said abt. he said i was very presentable in front of his frenz. kekee... happy. Oh, met with yx too~~ sit down chill, count down together. around 2 plus we went sm's hse, had supper, relax a while then went back home. sm drove us home! GREAT! hehe... thanks alot man! then gj last min then realise the next day she got to work when it's already like 4 or 5 am in the morning! oh my!!!

had a great day. a different xmas. love it! thanks to all presence and thank u darling.

OH!! he gave me 2 calendar!! he made himself with his baby pic, our rabbits' pic and our artistic pic. hahaa... so nice!!! thanks thanks!!!

sunshine after the rain~~~

2006-12-01T06:04:00.000-08:00

yes!! it's another sunshine after the rain.. even though everytime we quarrel i will be preparing myself for the worst. I'll keep thinking how will i react if we really break or wat so ever. But, Luckily he never ever let all those thoughts become reality. YES!!! He loves me!!

today we went for the Qian Hu fish Exhibition!! COOOOL!! but quite disappointed in a way as i dont see much breed mainly red aro and cross back. Dont really have much different colours that dar showed me like those electric blue etc. Ya. But, did see really nice ones. The colours are so obvious and distinct. WOW.

then we walk about and saw a very funny looking fish!!!! It has got 3 strips at each side of the body red blue red. The CUTEST thing is that it has LIPSTICK on the LIPS!!! hahaa.. looks so fake but is real!!wow~~~ after which we went to lot 1 to shop!!!

went to fond!! the shop i love alot coz of the unique clothing they have!! AND darling bought one top for me!!! nice nice!! i love it!!! got to be my xmas top!! must fast fast slim down get the bottom den PERFECT! kekee...

ai ni yi wan nian!!!!!

=|| tRuSt ||=

2006-11-28T18:30:00.000-08:00

It is important to have trust in a relationship. Yet, it is difficult for one, especially the female, to trust the other party fully. The more you love the person, the more you wouldnt want to find out that they person betray your trust. Even if the person is with you 24/7. Being a selfish me, I would want him to be both mentally and physically mine! I wonder if that is too much, but I just couldnt get myself to not want that. He is a very fun loving person. He has his past. We both grow up in a very different environment.

He used to smoke, club alot, pubbing, etc. He enjoy his life with no restriction being very open minded and make friends from all walks of life. He is living in the Fun side of life. For me? I'm brought up in a conservative family where very concern about moral values. I've curfew as early as 7pm. No clubbing, pubbing, drinking, and dont even talk abt smoking. Hence, we have a very big hurdle to get over in our relationship that is our mentallity differences.

Firstly, he used to go clubbing and pubbing alot. Have lots of friends there. A place where i know nuts about. After i'm with him, i keep asking him to bring me to club one day. I want to see and want to know his way of living. He keep refusing saying that it is not the kind of place for me. Telling me i wont like it. I know only by that then i might be able to know more of his friends and get into his life. But i was being rejected. I didnt tell him my real reason for wanting to go. Just say I just want to go and have fun, to see what's in there that attracted so many people. Then we finally went, but just with my friends. Only one is his. When he talk to his friends, went smoking outside, he didnt bring me along. I can understand as it is a GUY thing. So i just sit there and be a crazy self playing around with my friends. To my surprise, i didnt hate the place as much as i thought i will. In fact, i find that it is a good place to let out all unhappiness in me. WHY? The music is loud enough that i can shout all i want and no one will bother.

Though, he had brought me to club, to pub, Yet i still dont seems to know the real him. Maybe i think too much. Yet, to him, i am transparent, my emotion is always on my face, my friends, everything of me he will know. However, to me, he is still a mystery that i've yet to solve it. Indeed, i know his temper, his preference, his family and some of his friends. Yet, I still feels that I have him in my world, I know only the him in my world. I dont know the him in his world.

At times, i really have the thought that one day, i'll go to club and pubs alone. Befriend with those type that will visit the place often and understand their life. Knowing: "Why flirting is a norm to them?", "Why having a gf is not enough to make them happy that they still would like to play around with other girls even though it is not serious affair.", "Why to them certain words like "darling", "dear", are just so insignificant that they can call any Tom Dick and Harry that.".

I am not saying that having a friend of different gender is a NO nO. Just that, I want to see a clear line drawn. Am I being too demanding? Sometimes i really hope that i am not that soft hearted. I just want to know if really i quarrel with him regarding those problems and i suggested a break up, will he just leave my world because he feels that he cant fit in, or will he want me back. Sometimes, I really dont feel that he needs me. Maybe i just want too much. Maybe i am not giving him enough space to breath.

I always know that privacy is needed even in a relationship. Yet, i just feel that since i can be so transparent to you about every thing in my life everything that happens to me. Being so open that you can take my phone browse through all my msg and i wont say a thing. You can even call anyone in it. Yet, you are just so afraid. Why i dont trust you? Because of all this actions that you showing. All this gives me a very unsafe feeling. You said it is your privacy. But i just cant help it and let my imagination run wild thinking of all the why why and more whys.

HOW?? I dont know... I dont know........ All i can is try to use the love i have for you to keep telling myself our difference and accept you rules, your way of living. I will try, but i really cant promise that things like that day wont happen again. Though i still dont see a reason why it is my fault totally, Why you dont protect me and confront her when she said stuff otherwise? why all faults lies in me, I'll still try to figure it out and try to control myself and make sure such things wont ever happened again.

PS: Darling, actually i suppose to leave you this time round. Because i promised that if this thing happens again, i'll leave without asking for mercy. If you wan that, let me know. I'll do as promised.

16th month Anniversary

2006-11-06T23:27:00.000-08:00

yes! today is the 16th month anniversary. and here i am doing my assignments my presentation. yesterday went over to ai ai house. thinking that we can maybe have a good time together then till 12am i can pass him the stars that i've made for him using straws. Yet before the clock strike 12, he was so tired and once he got onto the bed he just slept. haiz...

then, i tot i can just put the bottle in his room leaving a note there wishing him happy 16th month. yet i forgot in the end. then i gave it to him. He didnt ask why i give, didnt say much. just a thank u and kept in his bag. Haiz...

kinda feel like a fool trying to spend some time together with him on this special day yet nothing seems to be working out. maybe i m just asking for too much stuff. maybe i m just too sensitive. maybe i am just too vex due to all my assignments and the oncoming exAM. I am just so so unhappy. I thought he might come and maybe accompany me a while. Maybe just an hour having dinner together. Maybe just sitting down beside me talk to me a while give me a goodbye kiss then off he go. I'll also be very satisfied. Maybe i just initiate too many times telling him to meet when i feel like it or when it's a special day that he dont see the need of suggesting anything. Or maybe 16 months has passed and he dont see the need of taking this day as a very special day already. haix... mood swing? pms? i dont know.

maybe he is just too sick to think of all this. he hasnt been well for the past few days. fever, cold, cough. haix.. shouldnt be expecting much from him. He has been real nice to me already. Complementing on my hair, come to wait for me at the coffee shop and intend to have dinner together there ytd night.

i must learn to be contented with what i have.

sTreSS is IN the Air

2006-10-10T00:50:00.000-07:00

Yes!! As stated in the title. I M STRESS!!!! I'm currently having 3 assignments and 1 presentation in hand. That's the bad part about studying a arts course. Though we dont have quizzes but we have ASSIGNMENTS!!! Which is so so so difficult! Oh my GOD!!! Moreover, my elective is econs, which means I am having a quiz next week!! GOD BLESS ME!!!

Had a great day yesterday. Firstly, darling came NIE for 3 days course. Met him for lunch. After which I went for tuition with my student, teach her all I can and darling pon lesson for me!! TOUCHED!!! We then go shaw tower and ate pasta!!! So Happy!! Then went to this Hong Kong style eating place and ate mango ice!! NICE! Though not really what I expected but not that bad. Then we chit chat this and that. Had a great night.

Today meet him for lunch in NIE again. Sad to say it ended up with a quarrel. He said I raised my voice and told me that either I talk nicely or just walk off. I chose to walk off. I was very upset. We quarrel JUST because he felt that I had not been following the work out schedule. Then, commented that I actually have time for JCRC matter and all but work out. I am quite piss by the fact that he keep bring JCRC into picture. I like to work with the people in JCRC and I have fun working. YET! He keep commenting on it. Moreover, it is the only way i can assure myself in getting a room next year. If I dont do anything even if i am in JCRC, NO POINT!! I will be marked down!

Haiz.... I am stress!! ultimate stress!! I can control myself! I MUST control myself!!

feeling so xin fu~~

2006-09-20T04:00:00.000-07:00

feel so good now having darling being understanding, able to do my own stuff most importantly I FINISH N HAND IN MY ASSIGNMENT LE!! wah~~ now i know how gd it feels to finish an assignment man~~ really fei bi mo neng xing rong.

yesterday had my audition for production. FUN SIA!!! kekee... just play around with swan they all.. keke.. so cute la they. FUN ppl to work with. n most importantly is in CHINESE!! my strongest subject that i can most express myself with. hopefully if i m in the production dar dar will come n watch me on stage supporting me~~~ i'll be VERY happy if i see him in the audience sit lor.. *hint* kekee... but that's all if i m chosen. keke... another assignment coming up soon~~but that'll be handing in in october another in nov den exam den HOLIDAY!!! HURRAY!!! wahahaa... cant wait. den will be darling, home, work, and maybe a bit of school coz i think still got one more assignment after exam from translation. ya lor~~

next wk holiday. but still working wk for me~ coz christine giving birth got to help out more in pet shop. got to come back school for make up lesson too~~ ya lor~~ boring~~ but no choice~~

sunshine after the rain

2006-09-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

it's a sunshine after the rain. darling promise me that he will change for the better for my sake. i take his promise n will stand by him as far as he is willing to go~~ thanks darling.

dar~ the upcoming year i will be busy. i will spend as much time as i have with u. pls do support me for all i do. no need u to take all stuff happily but at least respect what i m doing and be there for me whenever i need. i m very clear abt what i m doin and what i will be going thru. might be a tough year but i know it will be a fruitful one.

i couldnt get into xing n strum. kinda sad. but there is a production for our hall too. very excited abt it and hopefully i can be able to perform for it. as it is in chinese, i'm very confident in my chi too~~ hope i can be gd man. hahaha... and hopefully dar can support me!!! ur support wins the rest~ yeah!

had i hurt him?

2006-09-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

i dont know what to do now. his temper is getting kinda out of control. i dont know. i really love him. but what can i do? i dont want him to keep feeling unhappy or upset yet i dont know what to do. ever since i joined jcrc, everything goes down hill for the both of us. does that mean i wont have a valentine next year? i dont know.

i know i shouldnt doubt his love for me.. but i just wonder why guys n gers are so different. girls can do anything n sacrifice anything in a relationship but why cant the guys do the same too? does it mean they love their partner less n love themself more? i dont know....

as bad as his condition is now. i m also lost and dont know what to do. on one side i really dont want to leave him. on the other side i hope i can take up my responsibility and work to the fullest in jcrc. either i let go or him or just screwed up my jcrc work. i dont know. haiz~~

lost in the wonder land. no more tears, no more mood, in order not to let ppl worry for me, i have to cheer up. life~~ this is life~~ experience that no one else will be able to know the exact dilema that i m gg thru, due to different character n priority in life.

confuse

2006-09-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

this saturday is dnd.. kinda excited yet kinda down.

excited becuase this is my very first time to dnd. ppl all will be glam n nice. hopefully i wont be the only underdress one. kinda scare to go as i kinda no figure. haha.. thought the expenses are kinda ex. but i m on budget route. hence, all in all i havent hit 100bucks! hahaa... got a nice dress online. yeah. just nice fitting. lucky.

haix.. den down because my dar is kinda down for me gg for dnd instead of go petshop with him. true that i agreed to help out in pet shop n in the end i go dnd. kinda bad. but i've got no choice as i'm in JCRC.

actually kinda down lately. since i'm in uni, dar dar seems to have kinda bad mood swing. can be happy at a point when i'm with him yet kinda down n moody when i'm not or when he knows that i cant be with him. hai... i also dont know how to make him happy all the time. only hope that he can understand my situation more. so so scare that we might because of my pack schedule now n break.

today i'm so so happy. so happy!! because dar kissed me at the forehead when he left. so sweet n so nice~~ really love it. today is our 1 yr 2months. yeah!! so so happy!!! we've come so far. hopefully can go further n forever. dar... really hope that u can understand me n trust me till the end. though i'm busy u are still in my heart. u are nv a substitute in my life. so dont say "go busy with ur stuff. when u are free then come n look for me." sound so much like like u feel that u are a substitute. u arent!! u are the first!

busy~~

2006-08-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

yes... my school started till now is about 3 wks. kinda getting busier. got lots of things i wanna do yet cant and lots of ppl i wanna meet yet cant. Hereby i wanna say i'm sorry to lots of ppl. Firstly, sorry ning that i really yet to find a gd time to meet up with u n have a great catch up with things that u've missed n i've miss. Sorry to tian ying (srjc) whom i've yet to celebrate ur bday with. Sorry to daddy mummy that i actually dont have much time for u guys except for weekends. Sorry to darling as our meeting time really change alot since last time.

Worse thing now is.. i think i'm gonna be more busy with the next up commitment in hall, 13th JCRC main com. Yes, i'm running JCRC soon. hopefully can be a smooth one. though a bit hiccups here n there, but hopefully there isnt anyone bearing any grudges against anyone. everything is a new experience for me. though i use to be the assistant band major, yet i havent really run or work in a com with no assistance from higher authority. yes. so is very new, very fresh n i believe i will learn alot from it.

darling came to ntu on monday and really surprise me! that was a pleasant surprise. However, it didnt end with a high note. this is becoz he felt kinda inferior. i can understand how he feel as he knows no one here. not a single person. other den my roomie of course. so.. kinda.. i felt bad pulling him along to the IBG too.. coz.. i wasnt able to accompany him. he was sitting there all alone. can see the change in him slowly. i know he is unhappy, or feeling lousy, but i dont know what to do to cheer him up. really dont know. everytime i'll feel very lost when it comes to cheering him up.

even today when i meet up with him. we talked normally, walk around den he sent me back to hall. everything seems normal but i can feel something different, very slight different. he seems not so happy yet he dont want to make me worry or to dampen my mood so he was trying hard to stay happy. thanks darling for trying so hard. it's hard on u.

actually, i do feel a little unhappy abt he feeling inferior. coz to me, studying in Uni is not everything. even if i was motivated to move on to uni is just becoz that i want to prove to ppl that i can make it to uni. i can live without a uni cert. if not becoz he keep pushing me n motivating me.. i might have have a sit in NTU today. yet, now he is feeling inferior. kinda unfair to me as it is his wish to see me in uni, yet he feel inferior of me being a undergrad now. kinda confuse of what he actually want from me.

BUT, come to think of it.. not his fault either, is the society, the world. the recognition given to the A4 size paper is so high that everyone thinks highly of it and judge ppl with that. it is a STUPID way of judging ppl as studying is not everything in life. MOST knowledge is acquired in other forms not from just schools. we learnt most at work, how to deal with ppl, how to deal with politics, how to work with the max efficiency, how to let ppl understand whatever u are trying to propose, all this hands on stuff is nth u can learn from school. maybe can learn them when u are running com for a project, however, not all have the chance for all that. Hence, in order to perform best at work, cert is not the Major thing to look at but experience, the wit of the employee, the capability. though certain job need certain knowledge from text books, but most of the things u cannot purely just stick to the text book.

So, what's the big deal of being a undergrad, it's just another learning process.

darling, soon u will be moving into a uni, studying ur degree, studying ur honest, so i dont see why must u feel inferior. true, i will nv get the exact feeling u have, but like u say, no matter where u were from, as long as u are gd there isnt a need to be afraid that u will not be recognise one day. i'm really afraid that the inferior feeling in u will cause a gap in our relationship, if really that i'll lose u becoz i'm in ntu now... (though i know is kinda silly to say the following but i really feel that way.) no point for me getting into the uni. i'm here for our future. (of course to make my parents proud of me too!)

msn ***

2006-08-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

msn giving me problem man!! cant sign in den re d/l the thing de cannot den change den d/l the older version den can. sian man....

yeah.. miss him.. alot.. haix.. but he doin assignment period.. mood swing.. easily get angry.. so scare.. scare next time marry le.. will he give me black face everyday if he got problem at work.. yet.. i'm thinking hard on how to make him happier whenever he is stress.. trying all means n ways. sometime tot maybe as long as i dont disturb him he will be happy. maybe dont meet him let him be alone. but i cant do it.. i need to see him.. n he also want to meet me..

sometimes i really dont understand. he says he miss me. den when meet, when he moody, he also dont talk much... i hug him... he also dont react... also dont know what he want.. dont wanna meet him thought might be becoz of me den he mood worsen, den he'll get more angry as i nv meet him... haix.. sometimes kinda dont know what he want. do i really understand him alot... i dont know.. all i want is stay by his side.. i want to see him happy, i want to see his smile, i can give up almost everything even if i have to give up him... as long as he is happy i'm happy. becoz i know at this point of my life at least i have one person who ever love me alot, who ever dote me alot, who ever think of me everyday, who use to be just mine, at least someone who let me know i m actually not that bad as there are someone actually go after me before!! hahaa.. yeah..

darling this is to u:
maybe i've said this many many times to u, yet i still want u to know, I LOVE U.

my school started!!

2006-08-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

my school started!!! oh man!! so happening.. n hall life= sleep late!!! so tiring!!!

hahaha.. hall 11 have very nice ppl.. the sch bash was happening... the ppl wear cool n fun...
lesson was great n interesting.. so discussive, so many thought provoking question posted. so cool! so different from jc. so so different. everything was so casual n so self motivation kinda thingy. not like school life where the teacher will start threatening u from the start of day one that u must study if not this if not that.. no stress from school as yet but stress from within.
suprisingly, not alot of PRC but quite a number of malaysian.. guess they are scholars there. scary~~~ saw a few familiar faces and feels home.

miss darling alot. coz couldnt get to see him most of the time. still waiting for him to appear outside my room as a surprise!!yeah.. waiting~~~

keke... great time great experiencer, so new so fresh.. but got myself damn sick.. ya.. got fever a bit, bad cough, a bit of flu. yeah. terrible isnt it? school just started for a wk~~~

yeah... that's abt all. more to come!!!

The start of another new phase of life

2006-07-29T19:26:00.000-07:00

yes.. is another beginning, i'm moving into a uni life. moreover, i'm moving into the hostel getting a taste of how will it be like. the great experience that i always want to have. BUT!! It's a tiring start man!!!!

tuesday i've got to know i'm posted to hall 11!!! YES!! HALL 11!!! terrible isnt it? the furthest away from school. but is the first stop when the bus enter our school premises. then my room mate was kinda sad n panic fearing that it'll be very troublesome n all for us. i also dont really like the distance. lucky they have shuttle bus which is FOC.. kekeke... then we decided to go down to ntu to check our hall out. if we were able to choose our room, we'll take it.

so.. wednesday, we went down to ntu at around.. 11?? i think so.. hahaha.. then we went to ask the seniors abt the thing. HAHAHA... we are able to choose!! but not alot of choices.. hahaha.. the rest the seniors had taken them already. we got a gd corner rm with not a bad number. 1048. kekee.. sounds not bad huh? next wk 4 D first price man. hahaha.. anyway, we then went to see our room!!! HORRIBLE!!! so dusty, so dirty, so many scotch tapes around. EEeeeEEee...
so we decided to go back the next day to clean it.

thinking that we'll be able to clean it in one day time. we brought our cleaning stuff n all on thursday.. to our horror, we only manage to clean the table, the cupboards and the bed!!!! from 11 till around 3!!! 4 hr!!!! ty have got tuition later in the day. so we just went for lunch then went back to clean up a little more, around 5pm we went back.

friday, dar came n help us paint the wall.. kinda illegal, but lots of ppl did that. ahahhahaa.. n it really makes our room brighter and nicer. CLEANER!! we then start pasting papers and all in the cupboard. cleaning the shelf, cleaning the window. SO SO TIRED!!! then we couldnt take it.. around 3++ we went back too.. hahaa.. another 4 hr!!!!

saturday i didnt intend to go back, but went back becoz the floor is still DIRTY!!!!! so we clean up the floor and pack our stuff. from around 3pm till around 6?? hahaha.. around there. cool. best day. most relax. brought alot of stuff though. kekeke..

today is sunday.. we have a briefing later in the evening at... MARINA SQUARE??!! yup. not in hall.. sianded... still have stuff to bring in but.. HOW TO BRING?? dont know to go down straight to marina square first or to go back hall, put my stuff den go.... haix... still thinking~~~

thanks to all that helped me~~ mummy, for taking my stuff out for me, sis for giving me some money to buy some stuff, daddy for giving me thinner, n DARLING!! for helping me to paint the wall and to clean the floor, get our stuff into position and all. THANKS!!! *muackx*

2006-07-24T00:49:00.000-07:00

Lao gong asked me to do this:

Name 20 people you can think of right now. Don't read the questions until you have named the 20 people. At the end of it all, choose 5 people to do this. Ready? Start~

1.Darling (Dom dom)

2. Lao Gong

3.Mummy

4.Lao Pa

5. Ai ren

6. Huining

7.Shelia

8. SM

9.Kala

10. Wen Yao

11.Alan

12. Mei Hui

13. Tian Ying

14. Pei Pei

15. Pei Wen

16. Sally

17. Letchimy

18. Dinosaurs

19. Jing Jing

20. You xiang

How did you meet #14?I meet her in SRJC.. We were classmate! She used to be my junior too..

What would you do if you never met #1?I'll never know what is true love n never be able to truely be myself. Can't do anything if i dont meet him.

What would you do if #20 and #9 dated?I'll Laugh my head off!!

Did you ever like #19?Yeah She's nice!!

Would #6 and #17 make a good couple?Er, unless they want to be lesbians?

Describe #3:short, quite plump, short hair, naggy, sharp when scolding yet soft at heart. great cook. very protective mother.

Do you think #8 is attractive?hmm.. in certain way i guess, IF NOT HE WONT BE MY RIVAL!! GOT MY LAO GONG AWAY FROM ME!!

Tell me something about #7.Currently studying in Mass Com IN NP.

Do you know any of #12's family?Her mum. Saw her before. Went her hse once.

What is #18's favorites?I DONT KNOW. Just know him not long ago. =P

What would you do if #18 confesses that he/she likes you?Wahahahaa.. i'll laugh my head off.. i'm not his type he'll nv be my type.

What language does #15 speak?Chinese, English

Who is #9 going out with? Whoever that dates her out.

How old is #16 now?19 though we were born in the same yet but her BDAY is on the last day of the year!!!

When was the last time you spoke to #13?Just called her to plan a meet up tml!

Who is #2's favourite singer/band?MAYDAY

Would you ever date #4?DATE? MY LAO PA LEHZ.. no need to date la..

Would you ever date #7?AH DUH?? great friend.

Is #15 single?NO LONGER SINGLE.. she n her wei wen~~ kekeke..

What is #10's last name?Er... full name is Adrian Kuang Wen Yao

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with #11?NEVER!! he's my jie mei!!

What school does #3 go to?'does' is referring to the present rite... Not studying now....

Where does #6 live?Kaki Bukit

What's your favourite thing about #5?Everything!! my airen lehz~~ the way she plays her piano just melt my heart.

Have you seen #1 naked? Even not now?? I'll be able to see in the FUTURE!! wahaha..

Now, 5 people I would like to see doing this

1. Dom Dom

2.Cai wei

3. Jing yi

4. Shi min

5. ai ren

a test to be done becoz lao gong wants me to.

2006-07-24T00:09:00.000-07:00

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Go Europe with dom for our honey moon.

2.Slim down till i reach the weight (at least) 55kg.

3.Marry my one n only beloved darling Dominic The Swee Yuen peacefully.

4.Have either a driving license or at least one for motor bike?

5.To have a family of my own living in our dream house.

6. Have a least a kid! I love kids!

7.Design a full set of outfit, a top, a bottom, a bag, a pair of shoe and maybe some jewelery for myself n my darling. (provided he'll like it of course.)

7 things I can do:

1. Speak Chinese and English fluently.

2. Earn my own pocket money even though im studying now

3. Cook for my darling though he seldom let me do that n think still not good enough to satisfy his taste bud.

4. Laugh non-stop like i got asthma attack.

5.Cry be it if i'm happy,sad, angry or what so ever.

6.Love my darling more each day

7.Sleep. Who cant? kekee...

7 things i cannot do:

1.Stop crying n reason out what i have in mind during quarrels.

2. Love my one n only lesser each day.

3. Hold a snake in my hand

4. Resist the tempatation of durian

5. Scream or shout at people i love.

6. Understand computers

7. Talk less! keke.. i m TALKATIVE

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1.Sense of humor

2.The way he carry himself

3. Eyes

4. The way he speaks must impress me

5.Sunshine boy look!! LIKE MY DOM DOM

6. Responsibility

7. SMILE

7 things that I say most often:

1. haha

2.SHIT!

3.mai lai la~

4. no lo

5. huh?

6. ok lo...

7. nevermind

7 celebrity crushes:

1. Chen xiao dong

2. Zhou Chu Ming

3. Qi Yi Wu (i've seen him in real life! so tanned so cool! so cute!! his smile is dashing)

4. David tao

5. Xiao Zhu (Luo Zhi Xiang)

6. Wu Yan Zhu

7. JAY CHOU

7 people I want to do this:

1. Darling

2. Airen

3. Jing yi

4. Cai wei

5. lao Gong (DONE)

6. shelia

7. Hui Ning

7__Favourites

Favourite colour(s): Blue,Orange,lime green, black, purple

Favourite food: PASTA, Darling's cheese fried rice! laksa, dark chocolate, lime icecream from swensen,alot!!

Favorite song(s): It keeps changing.. But basically songs which are upbeat, hip, RNB or meaningful

Favourite movie: MY SASSY GIRL (so funny so sweet so touching!)

Favourite sport: Swimming cos I wont feel myself sweating

Favourite day of the week: Sunday (it's the day just with dar dar n no one else)

Favourite season:Winter ( though cold but just look so lovely)

Favourite ice-cream: CHOCOLATE, Mint, CHOCOLATE CHIP, Lime!

CurrentsCurrent mood:Bored.. the test is too long... n just bored

Current taste: No taste but craving for food.

Current clothes:SRJC ORION tshirt, shorts, undergarments, rubber band and my RING! kekee..

Current toenail: pink

Current time: 3.33pm

Current surroundings: my room boring rm with only me

Current annoyances: CANNOT EAT JUNK FOOD. I'm still on diet

Current thoughts: How's the office now after i left. Is darling thinking of me. How would my life be after i enter UNI!!!!

First

First best friends: Siti Ramziyani (my primary school classmate)

First crush: my primary school classmate Ong Cheng Keong

First movie: forgot le la.. it's so many years ago!

First lie: I forgot... by the way, who actually can remember?

Lasts

Last cigarette: There wasnt any 1st in the 1st place......

Last drink (alcohol): I dont drink

Last crush: DOMINIC THE SWEE YUEN!!

Last movie: The Omen

Last phone call: Darling calling from his workplace.

Last CD played: Think i very l0ng never listen to cds. now is MP3

Haves

Have you ever dated your best friend(s): nope

Have you ever broken the law: if lettering consider as breaking law.

Have you ever been arrested:for what?? i'm a good citizen

Have you ever skinny dipped: no~

Have you ever been on TV: yup. when i was pri 3. up for a children program.remember?? sundays morning?? haha

Have you ever kissed someone you don't know: no.. but i kena kissed by my lao gong she was drunk~~~ haha

5 things you are wearing: T-shirt, shorts, undergarment, rubberband and ring

4 things you've done today: watched miss universe, clean up my room, blog, checked email

3 things you can hear right now: the fan, the birds' chirping away outside, the traffic noise pollution

1 thing you do when you're bored: Sleep

dan dan inccident

2006-07-18T06:36:00.000-07:00

today darling called n said dan dan got diarrhoea in the morning~ he got so freaked out~~ so scared.. so scared of loosing love one again~~ yes... i do mean again~~ coz he lost his beloved grandma some time ago..

i can deeply feel the fear in him. at that very moment, i just wish that i can be right beside him assuring that everything will be fine~

so i took half day~ went right down to his hse straight~~

dan dan was fine~~ gd as usual~~ guess is just that his stomach couldnt really accept the change in food i suppose. in the afternoon, his poo was alright. solid as usual. gd~!! back to healthy dan dan again!! darling was so relief!!

left is the healthy dan dan, n right is dong dong..

arent they cute?? kekeke... =)

tired!!!

2006-07-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

yesh~~ saturday was a fun day man~!!! went to play pool with sm, gj, wp and wy. Of course my darling is around! after which we went to sing k box!!! ahaha.. fun man~ really fun!!

sm drove me back home. thanks bro! hahah.. super car!! but singapore dont have nice road for it to run~ cool car man!! kekeke...

today so so so tired!! couldnt wake up in the morning for work. lucky mummy woke me up. den today dont know why, very happy! hahaha.. great mood but still tired. just no mood for work. slacking around.

darling is sick. so sick. he didnt even went for class today. so poorthing. no one look after him at home too.. doctor still suspect that he might get dengue fever. lucky nv.

he blog today. so sweet. short entry yet so touching!! hahaha.. yeah. love him lots. alot alot alot!!!

so tired.. still tired.. good night all..

virus in the air~

2006-07-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

yesh~~ darling is sick.. poor boy~ took care of our two babies and forgot all about himself. now sick at home with fever. how i wish i can go down n look after him now~~

today wore the clothes that he bought for me to work. ahaha.. every one was commenting that it's nice~~ hahaa.. feel so pretty and happy today. wahhaa.. work became much easier and less boring for me~ wahaha.. all ask me put make up la this and that.. make me so shy~ kekeke..

den today come a new boy~ shao ming~ yup.. he speaks more chinese den english. yesh. should be a poly grad as he is gg to ns this september. kinda easy to talk person. yeah man...

kala sick today too.. terribly sick. fever, cough, flu. wow.. u name it she has it. terrible. and she self torturing by gg to work. sitting there looking so pathetic.. poor girl.

that's about all for today. take care~

the photos of the clubbing night

2006-07-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

It is the clubbing night photos.. kekee... three couples were there... up here.. the first couple also the hp owner who took photos for us..
<----- wan ping and wen yao....
<----Next in up is guijin and shi min!! kekee.. In the end one got drunk and one?? blood vessels burst due to too much of vomitting.. oh my god!! the couple that suffered the most!
<----- of course the writer of this blogger.. me n my darling.. dominic!!! the most stable couple as one is a good drinker who dont get drank so easily and the other is non drinker who dont drink at all.. kekeke.. Following two photos: left is wanping and me~~!!! right is guijin and me!!! so chio isnt it? wahhaha... wonderful photos.. =)

untitled

2006-07-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

today dont know what to put as title. so name it untitled.

after work i went down to darling's house to see my bao beis, dan dan and dong dong. so cute!! i feed them palette they fighting for it man. see dan dan so naughty but yet cant win dong dong. dong dong just put half of its body straight into the food bowl n cover almost all the place stopping dan dan from eating the food. so bad. stupid dan dan cant do anything about it but to just squeeze in to get its food.

play with them a while den dar dar said he got a blog like me already!! wahahhaa.. i went to see.. so sweet~~ kekee... anyone interested? address is http://firedeice.blogspot.com yeah. kekeke..

tired tired... how i wish tml is last day of work. hahahaa.. den i can slp more soon~~ kekee...

~missing~

2006-07-10T04:33:00.000-07:00

i dont know how to control myself. i dont know is this right or wrong. ppl might say i pamper him too much that he might take me for granted but i just couldnt stop myself to treat him any better.

3days been with him. now i'm at home n he's having his lesson.. i miss him so much. so so much. i really miss those days that we were spending almost every seconds together. though there were little unhappiness happened but all ended up good n got us closer. i love it when i feel so secured so treasured in his hands when we were in pubs or club. i love the way he keep holding me like wanting the whole world to know i m his n all the guys in the place to know that i'm attach to him n no one can get me from him.

wow. so happening 3 days. coming back home like throwing me back to reality, throwing me back to my real life. kinda reluctant to return from the special treats i've got. but i have no choice.

i miss him. really do...

day 3

2006-07-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

went to get a new bottle of course. have to. den he told his friend that is him who broke the bottle. felt so bad. den went to the shop, the owner said dou dou is dead. so sad. so so sad. haix... den we looked around n got another loop ear back home. he is dong dong. kekeke...

so adorable. not that timid as dan dan. yes. that dan dan, eat n eat n eat none stop. through out the night also keep eating.so we go dong dong back home, he went to buy a smaller fan and a vacum cleaner. i was looking after the rabbits. den doze off. cried too much the night b4 n was so tired. later in the night we went to sm house for soccer final!!!

got there, chit chat a while, new friends were introduced. eugene and hansheng. hopefully right. yup. sm's father came back. he is a very successful business man. was up in newspapers and tv often. he bought back some food and in the end he came to sm's room and suggested on bring us to a pub. oh my!! sm's father bringing us to PUB?? he was so so friendly. first time ever. all sm's friends were shock including us. we really went to a pub nearby. he sang n treated us drinks. yup. talked alot. he assured guijn that sm's mother's problem he'll take care of it. as long as she'll be able to take gd care of sm n love him. guijin was so touched and cried.

after a while we went back to his place. suppose to watch soccer. i saw the first goal, which is due to a penalty shot. france got in. den heard the second goal...... n i... ZzzZZzzzzZZZzz...

heard that italy got the world cup champion and is due to a penalty shot after extra time. yup.
cool~~ now gg back home soon. hopefully wont see black faces... =P

ENJOYED MY LIFE MAN!! COOL!!!

day 2

2006-07-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

supposingly we are gg to sentosa n play man. the sun the sea n the sand. yet.. all couldnt take it n make it. yeah... so in the end we went down to get our rabbit back!!! one is dan dan n the other is dou dou. dan dan is a lion head double main loop ear rabbit, while dou dou is dwarf rabbit. so so cute!! before we go.. went shopping!! hahahaa....

darling spent so much on me man!!! first bought a adidas slipper for me.. den went to city hall. went up raffles city. got a full set sports wear from royal sporting house. 80++ bucks. ah!!! just a top and a pair of shorts, so much. scary!!! next i told him about a shop, island shop. they sell those type of clothes that he will like. so we went there n walk around. in the end, he got me to try clothes here and there, a dress, a top, lots of different skirts n all.. like modelling around the shop. in the end, he bought me a simple yellow top, with a long skirt, 2 pairs of earrings and a bracelete. all in all.. cost him $170. OH MY GOD!!! expensive right? the shop retailer all envy me. hahaha.. so sweet of him.

den went to collect our rabbit. they are so adorable. however, dou dou was sick. they said they'll look after it for us first. see whether is there any improvement when we get dan dan back home. then we started to became very busy.got the cage ready, this n that. put it in. den do the platform ate some dinner. (darling didnt eat. he cooked wash den the food turn cold n he threw them away!!) haix.. after which when the platform was done, it's already 11++pm. late huh? finally we wanna get the cage done in proper. so i've got to carry it out n he'll do the rest. however, it's my first time handling they animal. wasnt very gd at it. in the end i dropped the bottle for the rabbit, it broke and the water just spilled. saded. he screamed at me. was so shocked, scared, n felt so much like a maid to him suddenly.scolded me while i clean up the place. after which i just cry in the room. i really dont know what to do. he scolded n said that i should go back. suddenly got the urge to... but i'm scare. yeah. very scared. just like the rabbit i shivered in the room.

after that he apologise. he said he isnt good. he suggested that i should get another bf n dump him. crazy. how will i be able to do that? i really dont know. maybe i fan jian, no matter what he do, i'll still want to stay by his side. i want to...

next morning, everything was back to normal. he slowly introduce me to the rabbit again teaching me in a more patient tone getting me back to norm. though now better, but still have the fear in me.. yup.

chalet~~~~~~ day 1

2006-07-09T23:03:00.000-07:00

yoohoo~~ had a great 3 days wkend sia~~ wowowowowowowo... great experience n great fun!

first up.. we met up while darling went to school for his exam. SM(just back from melborne), guijin, wanping and i met up at wan ping's place to chill out and the 3 of us (girls) went to doll up ourselves for the night!! wen yao came at abt 8++pm. wan ping n guijin had some make up experience when i had none! hahaha.. yup. den i wan trying my very best to do something yet not to be too exageratting. hahaa.. den they were curling up their eye lashes. den i realise mine is so short n so deep in that so hard to curl it up. the professional ping ping up to rescue!! hahaha.. she was able to curl it up! bravo!

den we start putting eye shadow n this n that. last come the mascara. disaster for me man!! i accidentally got it onto my face when it's still not dry yet. wow.. den wan ping n guijin tried hard n help me out with it.. finally everything was fine! hahaha.. looks funny but still ok~ kekeke...

went to music underground located near parkmall. yeah. first time to clubbing. wow.. it's like so so different. we reach damn early. so kinda like empty. not really fun. den the crowd only comes in around 1am. late isnt it? once we reach they got tow bottles of martel n me? of course just coke n nothing! kekeke.. they started drinking. guijin n sm was like drinking n drinking when wan ping was taking lots of photos n wen yao just sit down n chill out. dom? hahha.. run around like home. hahaha.. nah.. went to look for you xiang outside. yup. they talk den he went to withdraw money. yup. i juz try to squeeze myself into the two couples in the mean time n have fun. hahahahaa...

when guijin finally said she cant drink anymore, comes the waitor cheers with all ppl on our table. she got no choice but to drink it. n more, she drank the whole cup in one go!!!!! oh man!! and right before the clock strike 12, she was drank. haha.. de she go around kissing all ppl.. lucky by the cheek. N MY DARLING KENA ALSO. saded.. yup.

we dance, play, listen to the music, see how my dar dar shine on the dance floor. look at those figure damn good bar top dancer dancing so nicely, so stylish!!! but the pole dancing lady... SO SKINNY> yee... hahaha...

around abt 2?? i think so.. hahaa.. we got a cab n went back. guijin was drank yeah, wan ping was feeling bad... keep wanting to vomit. wen yao didnt drink much, so nothing. dom solid la.. still fresh when he drink so much. sm.. worst, his blood vessel burst n the face was like with patches of red area here n there, the eyes like blood shot red. oh man!!! scary!!! me?? hahah.. didnt drink. HAD FUN.

friendship

2006-07-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

yesterday talked out with ning. yeah.. i kinda neglected the friendship...

dont know.. i know my fault. i too zhong se qing you. all i think is my darling n others will be rank second. be it my family, my friends, my money, my work, my studies. i know that's kinda extreme.. but i guess that's who i am. i trying hard to balance between darling n others but kinda hard. coz i really love him alot. maybe i should really strike a balance so that if one day he's not around or maybe one day he doesnt want me.. that's kinda impossible i guess.. kekee... i'll not be alone. yeah man~

seriously, now my life is only him. i dont know is it the right thing, but i juz goes with my heart. no matter what happened in the future, i nv regret that i love him whole heartedly before. YES! i'll nv. becoz with him i learnt alot. i'm growing up.. still in the process but i believe i m growing up. though no longer the goodie goodie me.. but i dont think that's anything bad either becoz i didnt turn that bad either. hahaha.. yeah man...

today went for a class, religious class, suppose to end at 11pm, but it ended earlier. ya.. told darling kinda last min. coz i dont know how to let him know i'm gg. he kinda reluctant n unhappy when i told him that i'll be involve in any sorts of religious stuff. yup. so.. was thinking whole day how not to anger him yet can go for the class. in the end, i still upset him. he said i didnt discuss with him at all. since i've decided, no point telling him n ask him not to be angry. true enough. i should respect him more n ask for his opinion way before. he asked me why i want to go. i dont know. simply becoz i feel like gg. though i'm no longer the goodie mummy's girl, but i still have my belief in my religion. that's all i can say. yup. hope he'll understand it one day n support me instead.

friday is coming. counting down for our one year!! counting down for the fun interesting wkend. counting down to the days of freedom...

thursday

2006-06-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

i guess should start with yesterday. dar got some problem at home.. den at night he called me.. we were talking.. den he talked abt himself as he was brought up in a violence family he might became one as well.. after we got married he might beat me up n abuse me too.. i told him that's the history, that's the past... just forget abt the things happened to the last generation. he commented that i still living in the ancient time. He said that it's now scientifically proven that this family background will have child who will react the same way. He asked me to think twice before marrying him.. i was shock.. it's a devastated sentence out of his mouth. to him might be a comment made casually or juz a simple warning.. but to me.. it's kinda like rejection.. a rejection to my love.. kinda like... no matter how much i do.. how much i show him i love him, how well i treat him, how much love i shower him with, he'll nv be able to love me till the extent that he'll prevent himself to turn violent, he'll nv be able to control himself n not act violently towards me.. i have so much faith in him, giving him all i have, but yet.. he keep doubting himself, doubting his love for me... doubting everything. i msg him i dont care who is out there whether better than him or not, all i know is i love him. i ask him not to think abt better option outside for me, all i wanna know is he want me or not.. he just avoid the qns n ask me to turn in early. i didnt know how to react to it.. i was.. really.. sad.. it gives me an impression that he himself is not sure whether he wants me or not. i know.. maybe he's scared that he'll really turn out to be a violent husband that's why he doesnt wish to say a want but put me in deep shit in the future. but to me.. a want is really more important than my life. i believe very much in love. once i step into it i'll nv be able to get out of it. i can suffer, in pain, in poverty, in silence, as long as i know that he still love me it's all more than enough... that's all i want.

hmm.. today started off quite well.. becoz darling gave me 2 morning calls though i wasnt able to pick them up as i was bathing. den got a msg from him trying to see if i'm awake or not.. den the last msg was, u must take care too. den no msg no calls nothing till around 1.30pm. he msged me.. i was so relief to see his msg.. i thought he'll really give me up... but he still miss me.. so happy...

but den... he still kinda down.. ya lo... dont know how to cheer him up too... i must jia you!!!

dar dar

2006-06-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

this will be only be talking abt dar dar n me...

that day after the night tour. went to dar dar's hse.. den he suddenly say let's not meet up for around 3 to 4 months. i was shock n i dont want. den i kinda teared. he said it's becoz he knows that he himself is kinda moody n prone to mood swing lately, always flare up due to small matter n i kena la.. ya.. den say that period of time will let him cool down n all.. i dont want it.. really dont want it.. i cant imagine life without seeing him or having him around me...

den he said why?? is it becoz no one is chasing me that's why i stick to him so tightly? i said no.. i love u. that's y. really love u alot. alot more than i can imagine. till the extend that some times i'll tend to wonder does u love me as much as i love u.. den he said something abt gg after other girls n all.. den i said go lo.. u wanna go i also no choice. den he kinda like sa jiao to me asking why i nv try to keep him by my side. i said he also everytime say that to me.. den he direct me to see him eye to eye n said. i actually dont like it when other guys talk to u or when u go out with other guys. when u say wanna go clubbing and all i didnt want u to go de.. i juz didnt say n all.. i kinda touched. first time hearing things like that from his mouth. kinda feel like i'm in a dream. really love it. love to have him so tender loving by my side hugging me... feeling so secure n that he's all mine!!!

haix.. den he said he's gg australia to study his 2nd yr of uni.. i was kinda down but it's his studies, i cant say anything abt it.. but he said if i dont want den he wont go.. den ytd he said he'll only go for 2 months n experience a new kinda lifestyle... den today... he said he wanna go there study 1 yr of honest with yx. 1 year.. wow.. that's so.. cool.. ya.. hope his dream will come true n that he'll be very very happy.

haix.. dont know why recently everytime meet him will end up like kinda unhappy. i also dont know how to cheer him up. only he'll be able to make me laugh n smile but i always fail to be e clown.. hope he'll be fine soon.

darling.. i love u.. alot.. alot.. alot.. really... alot..

wonderful night out

2006-06-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

yeah.. had a night out not long ago.. it's on the 10th june. with the religious class ppl n my cousin n of course my one n only we went for the perfect night out. had games n all for bonding n it's kinda great i should say. though dar's game seems to be kinda cruel.. hahaha.. got to drink bitter gourd drinks, eat chilli, this n that but it's a great n enjoyable game for all.. hahaha...

next up we went to amk to eat. dar dar is really a da wei wang sia.. he ate 2 bowls of wan ton noodles n a bowl of laksa. wow!!! yeah.. that's my dar... den we move on to mount faber.. everyone told me is a wonderful dating place, nice scenes this n that.. but to me.. juz alright only lehz.. nothing fantastic. ya lo.. just alright la..

next.. we moved on to pasir panjang market... see the ppl selling off their vege in bulk. wow.. really lots of vege sia... den that cw.. wear till soo lady like, put make up n all.. attract lots of attention man.. den every man there like looking at her. ahhahaa..

den we move on to marina south for bowling.. yeah.. bowling.. but before that they play kinda like lots of interactive games n all la.. i was a bad bowler.. yeah.. very bad.. ah!!!!!!! throw face ar.. sian sian.. den play arcade games too.. wahhahaha.. cw is the best man. she really is gd at it.. hahhaa.. den jy n me struggling down there. ahhahaa...

great la.. good n enjoyable.

why??

2006-05-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

haix.. today is vesak day.. actually is a very happy day for me.. cause can go out buy com with DARLING!! but early in the morning i make him angry le.. everything actually starts yesterday.. haix...

actually yesterday was a wonderful day sia.. after his lesson he called me.. kinda rare case.. but he called n we chatted.. due to some different views.. he got angry n didnt wanna talk anymore.. but soon after.. everything was alright le.. but i still like scare next day meet him dont know how it will be...

today morning i woke up.. called him at abt 10am.. morning call. yup.. den we met up at abt 12... he called me when i was on my way saying that wanna meet me at sim lim square as he was hungry n wanna go find food. den i wanna him to eat pure vege food la. but he say that side dont have.. juz eat normal vege food lor... den i was kinda like unhappy as there are pure vege food around juz need to walk a distance. but didnt say anything as i felt that was a little too demanding for him. den he felt my unhappiness and was pissed by me.. in the end didnt eat a single thing. den we met, things go on well. den i dont know what went wrong with me today, juz wrong in everything thing. accidentally stepped on the back of his slipper lots of times till he got fedup n angry with me the 2nd time. when i reach his place, was closing the wardrope, there goes the third time but he didnt show it actually. cause i actually didnt get hold of a firm grip of that handle n it juz bang when closing.

den i didnt dare to do anything at all le.. the more i do like the worst it got. saded..

den juz now at my place, he was packing stuff for me.. wanna throw lots of things. but i say dont want. cause not all stuff mine. cant throw. den this n that. told him i no time to go n tidy the things n all.. den he got angry also.. coz he told me to clear up the place for new stuff like my laptop n the keyboard. but i didnt. haiz.. everytime no matter what i do like he also angry. also dont know how to be the best out of it.. dont know what to do... don't know how to make him love me more.. dont know how not to anger him anymore.. don't know.... haix....

only one thing happy today. GOT MY NEW LAPTOP!!! ya.. that's all...

outing sunday!!!

2006-04-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

today is a very casual day. love it.. slow pace n everything is in our control, no rush no disturbance, no phone call no msges really cool man... dont know he got anot la.. but i have nothing to disturb my wonderful time with the special person. =)

morning abt 9.45am den wake up. shiok man. den after that relax till abt 11+ den we head off to china town.. after doin the zhen jiu thingy, den we move off to search for the dunno where fish shop in china town.. hahaha... he very funny sia.. so so lucky.. juz walk a distance den found lehz.. but best thing is.. NOT OPEN TODAY!! hahahhaa... n it's JUST FOR TODAY!! kekeke... *giggle*

which we den move on for lunch... went to one very class very zen (to me) very posh de lehz!!! ya.. nice nice.. thought very ex, but still affordable.. at least he still can use his cash in his wallet n no need to use the VISA. kekeke... i ate jap ramen den he ate fried rice.. WAH!! the fried rice is .. wooo... drool... very very very nice lehz.. smells gd, taste gd, looks not bad too.kekeke... drank pu er, ate siew mai ate xia jiao.. NICE!!! wahahaha.. i think xia jiao ok la.. but the siew mai nice nice wor... yup.. reach there at abt 1++ we sit there talk n eat till 3.30 lehz!! pro hor?? i also think so.. hahah.. first time!!!! wahahaha...

next we took bus down to behind taka's bus stop. hahah.. first time walk ard the back of that orchard area. kinda cool n different feeling.. very relaxing very casual.. very LANG MAN!! cox got dar dar.. =P *ping dan zhi zhong zhi zhao yi xie xie lang man~~~* hehehee.. den we went to borders.. read lots of books there sia.. found lots of interesting books.. like those art books, teach ppl how to draw, den those graphic design stuff, interior design, feng shui, astrology.. etc.. lots lots ar... sit there till abt 6++ den walk down to park mall check out that nice nice water fall thingy and the fish tank coffee table. cool~~ which then move on to our actual destination, PS. went there to check out the price of the sole which can correct the flat feet problem.

ps dont have bus back home.. so.. we walked... walk till the new CATHAY.. BIG!! nice!!! how i wish i can go there juz watch ONE movie.. wah~~ nice place man!!! yeah... my net dating dream~~ kekeke.. *hint hint* den from there walk till art museum.. took pictures.. den walk all the way till BUGIS AR!! first time that i actually walked from orchard to bugis sia!!! denise genius record sia.. kekekee... took some pic at national library too.. took 80 back home from there.. reach home at abt 9++ almost 10. COOL man!!! busy day?? casual day?? GREAT OUTING DAY!!! =) =D

I GOT INTO NTU!!!

2006-04-22T02:58:00.000-07:00

yeah!! i can go uni le~~ so so so happy!! first time in my whole life sia~~ though all also once in a lifetime la~~ hahah but really happy lo.. cause is my second try. hahaha.. very long nv blog le hor? hahaha... yeah.. com got problem n all ma.. now darling bought a new laptop... so i can use lor.. kekeke.. nice lehz.. twin head pearl white de.. i also wanna get this..

yeah.. so so many things to update.. but think also cant update le la. haha.. shall start from today again!!! yeah....

today went tuition in the morning at 10am. till abt 11.30am den teach the younger boy.. wah~~ he attitude me ar~~ actually only teach him maths de... den the mother says his chinese also not gd.. ask me to teach also... so i took up the challenge for the sake of money hahahaha... yup n teach him lor... starting he juz do his work den say can dun tuition chinese notx.. i said u asked ur dad lor.. not me... den as time passes, he started to be restless, keep gg toilet n this n that.. den keep refusing to learn chinese. when one hr passed n time to have chinese tuition den he throw tantrum this n that cry n make lots of noise of not wanting to learn chinese... actually i was quite pissed initially, but come to think of it he also quite poor thing, so i talk to him coax him to settle down this n that den start the lesson proper. by the time, 20min already pass le~~ den he started to cooperate a bit n reading thru passages.. that was like cool~~ he smiled again le!!! hahahahaa... sense of achievement!! kekeke....

den after that rush down to marilyn's place for tuition this n that.. got to realise she actually got the chance to go mediacorp to join a press conference with the campus superstar ng chee yang. hahaha.. took photo with him too... in the end got to write a report n couldnt think of things to write. hahaha..took almost 1 hr to help her complete the thing.

den came back home for dinner.. n now dar dar like so so tired.. sleeping beside me.. suppose to go gym, abt to rain le.. n he like sound asleep le.. dont know if we still gg anot..

oh ya!!! recently went to see doctor abt my leg pain problem. den he said i got flat feet and is abnormal feet. den i tot is those one in a million kind of thing den realise is alot of ppl also have it. he said the pain will still be there no matter what, unless i go for an op to correct the leg. haix.. dont know lehz.. sounds scary but i want to jump n run abt without pain... yet if the op like got any problem or what den in the end i cant even walk how?? but the doctor say i still cant do the op, must wait till at least 2 yrs later.. the op is abt 2.5 hrs long, will be on caste for 6 wks, 3 months to be able to recover from the op and around 2 years to actually able to be fully recovered as in no problem in walking n all.. ya lor.. scary hor? dont know lehz.. trying to find other ways to stop the pain first.. =(

yeah.. abt my love life.. it's getting better i should say, coz i love him deeper n he loves me more too~~ kekekeke... ah!! cant wait to get married. hhahahahha.. cant wait to go uni... cant wait to move on in life~~ yeah!!!

Aerospace 2006!!!

2006-02-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

oh gosh oh jesus!! i was able to go for the areospace this yr!!! so cool!! i can see like engines so so big in front of me~~!!! the big new A380 flying in the air doing tricks that they'll nv ever do again!!! oh man! den can see nice nice planes, helicopter n all!! getting nice door gifts n etc. that's so cool n great. the jet planes was like turning 360 degrees soo fast n cool which den will juz fly up high into the sky... den at the max height, it juz fly down like a free fall.. wow!!!!! cool isnt it???

great experience.. more to come tml!!! photo taking session. all thanks to olive's digi cam!! thanks ger!! i'll show u sia!!!

v day!!!

2006-02-15T07:24:00.000-08:00

MY FIRST VALENTINE"S DAY WITH A VALENTINE!!!
keke... though it wasnt so romantic thta ppl use to dream abt, not fairy tale like de... no flowers, no bear, yet.. it's the best i've gone through, coz i got the one that i love most beside me~~
i was trying very very hard to make a cross stitch for him on a cushion cover. but in the end couldnt finish. so sad!!!! haix... but he didnt mind la~~ he got me a pair of shoes. nice nice~~ ekekee..

ok~~ met him at 6pm. we went parkway walk walk. i brought the necklace that he got me for a little repairment. coz i scare spoil. den walk ard. went to starbucks n drink coffee n eat cakes. kekee.. n that cute boy actually told me he plan to propose to me next yr vday. he said he'll post an entry to new paper asking "will u marry me?". den send me a sms hinting me where he'll be. den he'll wait there for 3 hrs for me~~ if i go means yes, otherwise will be a no. haha.. den i told him i'll let him wait till the 3rd hr den i'll appear. hahaha.. den he says he'll bring his own entertainment and wait there with the diamond ring n a bouquet of flower~ kekeke.. cute hor? so sweet hor? i sure to cut out that article on the new paper n keep for life de~~

after that we juz walk ard, shop the book stores.. look out for stuff.. cook books and all.. den he send me home le~~

though it's so much so like juz a normal outing, yet it's meaningful to me~~ coz he said, actually to me i dont take valentine as any meaningful function, coz to us everyday is valentine's day~~
so sweet hor?? hahahaa.... LOVE U DARLING!!!!!!

...

2006-02-06T06:03:00.000-08:00

now? mood not so gd. why? haix.. little tiny winy stuff. i'm bad~ very bad~~ couldnt control myself. juz so so possessive. cannot make it is the overall great remark i have for myself. yup! hate myself!! suckx. juz suckx. my problem yet i keep putting it like is his fault. like it's her fault. but it all lies in me~ yup~ i'm a sinner. unforgivable sinner~~

NiTe OuT!!!

2006-02-06T05:53:00.000-08:00

yeah!! 4th feb 2006~~ the best day i ever have!! why?? hahaha... great nite out party!! wahahah... not really a party la~~ but i enjoye myself!!

dar n i met gj n sm at bugis ctrl station t 8pm.. haha.. we kinda late, so met them at abt 8.15pm. kekee... after which i brought them to eat the vegetarian pasta!!! wahahahaa.... no more pasta.. so sad.. in the end dar able to get a bake pasta den i ate spaghetti n jin ate bake rice! keke.. oh.. sm bake rice too.. different flavour de!!

abt 9pm we met wp n wy outside shaw tower n off we head to paulaner!! the first pub that i ever went!! wow!! that was like great sia!!!!!! sat there, listen to songs n music, chill out. chit chat.. learnt how to play bridge.. taught by sm. hahaha.. den gj, sm, dom drank 1 litre beer n wp n wy drank half a litre. scary sia~~ in the end... jin got drank again!! hahaha.. twice that she got drank all when i was ard. hahahahaa...

wp n wy left the grp earlier at abt 12 when we move on to esplanade for a walk. so left the 4 of us. gj was kinda cmi(cannot make it) so sm got to hold her whereever we go. den sm suggested that he wanna piggy back her.. den darling also join the the fun n piggy back me!! wahahaha.. best sia... so fun so cool!! love it~~ he's strong sia!!! hahaha... dar den bought her a cup of tea n got her to drink it. it was so ex n so sweet. den sm brought gj to the ladies leaving both of us there.. it's so cool n nice.. we took a few fotos one of which is so sweet n nice!! i love it!!! den they came back... gj rest a while n all den got better. but she looked tired. so after some food n drink we decided to go home.

took the cab when we only left with $13.10. haha.. in the end got home is 15 bucks. so i went up to take money n returned it to the driver.. reached home at abt 2+am so cool man!! the smell of freedom is great!!!

wahaha.. btw, wy also piggy back wp!! haha.. such a coincidence!!! whehehe... coz he was trying to make her happy after a trash out. hahhaaa... nice one!!! the 3 ai renx rox!!!!

new year!!

2006-01-31T06:35:00.000-08:00

busy new year with not enough slp!! hahahaa.. bai nian n all...
went teachers' hse bai nian, went sm's hse bai nian, met dom's mummy n went k box together as a bai nian activity. hahaa... cool right?? n had a mid night bai nian activity!!! wahhhaa... so fun n so cool!!! enjoyed alot though not enough slp! kekekee....
yeah!! lots of details to fill in.. shall do it when i have more energy to!! =D

gj bday celebration!!!!

2006-01-31T06:09:00.000-08:00

yoz yoz!! it's gj's bday celebration!!! n on this very day dar dar gave me my 6 MONTH pressie!!! soooo soooo sooo sooo sooo nice!!!! wahahahahahaa...... guess what he gave?? he asked me to guess too.. hint? combinations of 2 ears. hahahaa... hard?? it's a HEART SHAPE!! hehehe... n so.. what's the other word for round?? RING!!!!! kekee... didnt manage to catch the second one but he gave me the pressie!! though in between there is a small unhappiness.. small one i really hope.. in the end was a great day, great pressie!! oh ya~~ still havent say is what... it's a HEART SHAPE DIAMOND RING!!!! oh man!!! cool right??? i love it! it's attached to this heart shape thing that is attached to a spring like thingy that pops up. den is attached to a box with me first month suppose to give present inside!!! so nice nice!!!!!!!!!!

kk.. back to jin's bday! as usual.. i gave her a GREAT SURPRISE!! bought a small cake with a fila bag for her.. shared by wan ping, wen yao, dom n me~~ kekeke.e.. so happy that she like it! haha...made a mess outside starbucks of that suntec branch. keke.. den her sis gui pei n her gang came too.. funny bunch of ppl. took alot of couples photos. ekekee... with dar dar only n also with the other 2 couples namely sm n gj, wp n wy. yup!!!

after which we went food court to eat. the reason being KIAN HUAT DONT EAT VEGE!!! N I DONT EAT MEAT!! hahahaa... which makes it difficult to go to any restaurant or what to eat. kekeke... had our food, den went on to pay POOL!! 2nd time trying to play pool!! better at it le! kekeke.. so nice wor~~ it's actually quite fun. met some sec sch dislike b**** there. yup. n since this day, i became SM's most hated person because gj i my LAO GONG!! hahaha.. i hugged her hold her hands n all that he felt "jealous" n keep asking me weird qns n all.. stupid right? hahhaa...

after which we went home... kekee...

great day!!!

shame shame

2006-01-15T07:14:00.000-08:00

the weekends!!

saturday was a busy day!! yes... early in the morning woke up abt 8++am trying hard hard to wake darling up becoz i got to go to send in my time sheet!! no time sheet no $$ kekeke... after which we met xiu hui at hougang mall at 11.15am or so to do some marketing.. it's cooking day!! hahaha.. we went her house to teach her to whip up some simple dishes. bought long beans, lotus, peanuts, xiao bai cai, and a kind of mock meat. yup yup. went to her house to do some preparation, rest a while, tied her hair nice nice for her.. keke.e.. listen to some songs, chill out a bit den went straight off to bernard's hse for rehearsal for our youth class. that was the funny one when thry rehearse their sketch n all.. hahaha.. i was juz an audience laughing my way.
at abt 4+pm, we go xiu hui hse n start the cooking lesson. everything was fine n nice till the rice was done! we found out that we put too much water n the rice turn out to be kinda too soft. still edible though. kekeke... after dinner went for a religious class n off we go heading home. dar dar was so so tired.. said wanna watch incredible but in the end both of us was juz so tired den didnt watch. kekeke...

sunday!! woke up at 8++ around 9 am as usual. haix.. wanna slp more de~~ juz couldnt stay in bed, so juz woke up , wash up n had my chee chong fan for breakfast. after which we watched bewitched. keke.. nice funny show. sweet too!!! had chee chong fan for lunch too.. den head off straight to youth class.. keke.. today's half an hour session suppose to be conducted by me la~ was so so so so so nervous that i actually finish off everything within 15 min. OH MAN!! such a failure. but happy that everything ended.. hpe next time will be a better one~ yup!!!
gor gor, xiu hui, mei hui, darling n i went for dinner together!! gor gor got car!! hahaha.. so got transport there n back.went lao di fang to eat. 55 bucks in total. gor gor trat 50 bucks, darling chip in the rest. kekee... nice food. i like the thousand island prawn so so nice~~ kekee... den cuttle fish ball was a challenge. hahahaa...coz dar dar cant use chopstick keke.. poke here poke there, the cuttlefish balls juz fly all over. hahahaa... n everyone was shock by his great appetite. 3 bowls of rice! hahahaa... then we went on to shop around at suntec. coz mei hui wanna get the doraemon key chain that she saw on gor gor's car! hahaha... shop ard n was fun!!
den when we abt to go home, den i was kinda alone when gor gor talked to xiu hui n darling was trying to open the box with the doraemon. den i looked into the "mirror" den suddenly realise why i have such low self esteem n feeling so insecure. becoz i juz dont feel compatible enough with dar dar.. so juz look ard kept quiet. felt that i look so so BIG while he looks so small. i juz not good enough for him, dont really feel that i'm up to his standard. den darling walked over tot i felt jealous or what. den i told him all that n he was trying hard to assure me that he dont feel that way n all. i KNOW. really.. i know he loves me alot. i juz wanna look more compatible to him so that i feel gd standing beside him being proud of myself when he ever intro me to his frenz. i dont feel that i through his face. ya.. den he actually held my hand for a moment. juz got a chu dian feeling running thru my body. felt so so gd!! really very gd! love the feel!

conclusion!! today is a great day!! i'm so happy!!! love it!!!

game for 2!!

2006-01-11T21:05:00.000-08:00

darling:" hey! let's play this game. If u lose, den u got to climb stairs later. The more u lose, the more u have to climb. k? "
me: "huh? i not gd at this game~ sure to lose."
darling:" dare to take up the challenge?"
me:" ok lor~~"

here goes.. we played. tie all the way in between with 2 of which i'm better off by juz one stone~ hahahaha... in the end.. his plan failed. den here comes another proposal. "why not we have a timed game. u shall start first." oh no! now i lose for sure~~ no aim no target nothing. suddenly comes a timed game. ya la.. i lost!! disgustingly lost!! sobz...

BUT!! hahaha.. when we reached home quite late le~~ den call off the thingy!!! kekeke..

dar dar is the best!!

den ar~~ later in the nite when i walk darling to the bus stop. we walked the long way by pass the econ minimart due to the heavy rain, we saw a scary guy outside the mart. seems like he's on drug n all.. i was so scared. luck darling is ard. he looked so pale, so suspicious abt things ard him. ya.. darling asked me to go the other way home to prevent things from happening. ya~~ first time see this kinda person ard my hse area. mostly malays playing or what only. nothing near to a drug addict look person. scary~~

tuesdaY Hari Raya Haji

2006-01-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

yup~~ tuesday was a holiday~~ hari raya haji~~ now den i kknow that's the day of sacrifice~~ they will buy goat, er.. or sheep? either la~~ life de to import to singapore from places like new zealand den they'll bring those goats to the mosque on the day itself. the goats will be killed an sacrifice on tat day,, sounds kinda cruel to me but to them is a very holy ceremony. they'll sacrifice it den one third given to the one who bought it, one third to the mosque which will then be canned n send to the third world country for food, last third will be cooked on the spot for the volunteers. they even said that some goat will die willing as they know they are used for gd~ but i still dont think is a right way to sacrifice another species..nvm...

however, my tuesday is obviously with dar dar again. coz whole of last wk we didnt really have time together~, wed went to have a celebration with marc for his bday n farewell to get into ARMY. hahaha.. den friday is celebration for pei pei bday~ the rest got to be home.. saturday got xiu hui n mei hui around. sunday we also stayed at my hse... which is kinda restricted, watch dvd must watch softly, den no games, everytime watch half way got to stop to help mum this n that~~ hahaha..

finally this tuesday we got our own time TOGETHER!!!!yup!!

went darling's hse at abt 8+ near to 9. reach there at abt 9.30am. coz it's another rainy day.. cant go out n no $$ to go out too~~ so is another DVD day!!! hahaha.. yup~ watched tom yonng gong n unleashed. both are great movies~ both action movies too~~ see the way they fight~ wah!! cool sia!! den got to play ps too!! hahhaa.. crazy taxi.. dar dar standard n mine same sia!!! hahahahaha...

after that we came back home to eat dinner.. den he stayed around till abt 10+ den he went home le~~ another great day!!!!!

+misunderstanding+

2006-01-09T07:05:00.000-08:00

yeah~~ all are juz misunderstandings~~ he love me~~ i love him~~ end of story~~

any passerby will still remains as passerby or might not come into the story anymore~~ yup~~

anyway, juz today i learnt from my personal consultant at work that life is juz the beginning. this is juz a small little part that i've met.. coz she had gone those more n worst~~ really shocked me n enlightened me to look through the whole inccident~~

thanks ger~~

WK END AT HOME!!

2006-01-08T04:03:00.000-08:00

hehehehehehehe.. love this wk end the most~!!! why?? DAR DAR HERE WITH ME!!!
kekekee... yup.. though in between got small small unhappiness brought up by me~~ ops~~ sorry dar... anyway.. ya... er...

HAPPY 6TH MONTH!!!!

ho ho ho.. zhuan yan jian~~ half a year le~~~ oh man!!! so so happy sia~~~ hahhaa... nv felt so so xin fu b4 nehz~~~

kekeke... okay~~ ytd.. mei hui , xiu hui n dar dar came my hse!! yup~~ suppose to do youth class thingy la~~ hahahaha.. ops... end up listening to songs n er.. play DAI DEE!! hahaha.a.. yup.. mei hui got to work.. went off at abt 4.30pm. den xiu hui n dar dar stayed on~~ we talked alot... play dai dee.. n juz chill out~ nice nice~~~

dar dar stayed over~~ yeah~~ so so happy~~ we chat whole nite~~ ARGH!!! cant live without him le~~ when he go home i'll die sia~~ felt so gd when he is ard.. felt so lost n empty when he's not~~ ops~~ kinda jialat right? but i dont mind!!! yeah!!!!

today we watched 2 movies!!! hahaha... dvd la~~ white chicks n shutter~~ old ones.. but nice! didnt watch them when they're up in cinema~~ kekeke.e...

yup~~ that's abt all!!

Pei Pei's bday!!

2006-01-08T03:59:00.000-08:00

yeah!!
05/01/06 is pei pei'sd bday!! happy birthay!!! whahahaha.a... pai seh~~ cant spent that day with u!!! hahahaa... my dear sis~~ hence~~ we met up on the next day~~ 06/01/06 kekeke.. nice right?

pei wen, tian ying, pei pei n i went out together~~ i brought them to eat vegetarian pasta at shaw tower~~~ kekekeke... nice nice.. almost no place to sit siA~~ last table~! kekeke... yup. pei pei permed her hair~ nice nice!!! tian ying did nothing.,. highlight a bit.. but cant see much~~~ den pei wen~~ scary ar~~ top part of the hair is copper brown n the bottom is GREEN!! oh man~~

yup~~ pei pei is attached!!! to a guy call darren~ haha.. got fu qi lian sia~~~second date den went take pic le wor~~ so so sweet!!! kekeke.e....

yup~~ went eat den went to take neoprint!! so so nice!!!!!!! fun machine too~~ got nice nice ppl in the nice nice fotos.. CHIO BU!!! kekeke....

yup!! nice day!

mystic knots

2006-01-03T06:13:00.000-08:00

yes!! come back to some happy stuff.. my darling got me a jade pendant for my xmas.. but as a punishment for not being able to be with him for the xmas, he wanna me to guess what is it first b4 i can get it. he gave me clues...

here comes...

Hint 1:
Representing endless n countles ups n downs, happiness and sadness we gonna go through in the future. seeing u either on one end of the other or even beside,

Hint 2:
It might not worth as priceless as diamond but it might not worth as priceless as a penny.

Hint 3:
Never untie it, never tie it. Let it be what it meant to be.

Hint 4:
The key to happiness n sadness.

Hint 5:
Given u a Jack fruit, Apple, Durian, give me a fruit STARTING with E.

Yup.. that was all the clue even. he also told me it's something start with 2 words starting with M n K. yup.

after hours of struggling.. 4 hours if i m not wrong. i manage to get a close to it ans where i said it is a jade, a mysterious knots. In actual fact is a Mystic Knot made of jade. yup!!! nice nice wor... looks trendy too... and it is nto that cheap sia.. all i know is more than 60 bucks. but dont know actual price~

thanks DARLING!! i juz love it!!

oh no!! i'm possessive

2006-01-03T05:56:00.000-08:00

! i'm possesive ! how how how?? ok.. there it goes...

coz i was unable to meet darling n be with him for the xmas, i got xh to help me pass him the present. den xh n mh was there with him during the xmas and they got closer together. yup. thanks to them that actually help me spend time with darling so that he wont be that lonely during xmas... thanks gers

darling is xh shi fu. ya that i know.

den yesterday, mh msg darling asking if he wanna join her for lunch. den after that say wanna go buy bag ask him go with her coz xh was unable to join her. *smells funny* coz i know mh earlier den darling, talked to her more, she got hold of my number first, knowing that ytd was a holiday, she didnt ask me yet she ask him? funny right? i didnt wanna be bad. so i asked him to go la~ he ask me to join, i say better not. she din ask me go along den i join for what? so he went alone with her.

they met up at 1pm. had lunch, went town to shop. in the end, she got NOTHING!! haix.. didnt spot any that she likes. darling got to realise they got same taste...* here comes the sour feeling *
before that he told me he will come over after the shop n after gg xh house to cure her sick computer. den i was like looking forward to it.. still thinking that we might be able to watch king of heaven together den he go home.. wait n wait. no news, no msg, no nothing. saded!!! den after that i msged him at abt 5 i guess. obviously they still shopping. yup. den he replied and all... den i went to rest la~

wait n wait again... till 7pm. no news. he told me he will be gg to xh hse to do up the com at 7pm. den no news.. till 8pm... he called from xh hse n say he juz reached. ok... there goes.. he wont be able to come n i wont want him to come le. so late le.. it'll be tired n troublesome for him to make trips here n there. 1pm to 7pm.. 6 hrs spending time with another ger wor!!! prettier, slimmer n more fun to be with? haiz.. devastated.. but juz kept quiet. when he went home he msg me~~ i told him saying that he must be having a great time with a pretty babe shopping. den he sense the jealousy in me.. n i did told him i was JEALOUS! so he called. clarifying that it's less than 6 hrs coz they reached xh's hse at 7pm but waited for her downstairs till 8pm! isnt it the same??? she can go back first right? *smells fishy right?* (i do suspect she finds him interesting n nice) anyway, den he went back home, called me trying to explain n all.. k.. forget it... she's still young. she doesnt think so much abt bgr stuff. she's more of a carrer minded kinda person. forget it.

TODAY!!! xh n mh wanna meet darling out for lunch TML AGAIN!! hello!!! ppl start working le lor!!! machiam!! i was really pissed upon knowing that. i told darling that they could have asked my out not u!! he says they might think i m working so cant make it. HELLO!~~~ who's the obvious working one?? i'm juz a part timer n he is a full time navy la!!! ok.. he told them he is working n cant make it~~ i'm fine with that. but i'm juz so so puzzled that WHY??? why they keep asking him out?? HE IS MINE!!!!!!!!

ok.. i'm getting kinda work out! yes i m... i muz have faith in my frenz n my darling i know!!!! i really know.. but.. juz cant help being unhappy abt it! they could have juz ask me out n saying want him to tag along. i dont mind~ but.. haiz.. i know i think too much. i'm juz too possessive. i'm sorry if i hurt anyone in this entry. but just wanna say out my feeling. that's all. yup! i know maybe becoz they think by asking him out i'll be out with him too... but by asking me out he might not tag along or he might prefer to spend time with me alone n ask me reject them ba~~ hmm... yesh~~ gd guess!!! hahahaa.. ok~~ sorry gers.. i'm juz too possessive la~~ can continue ask him out la~~ juz wanna say out the feeling den forget abt it only. YUP! smilez.

WONDERFUL NEW YEAR EVE!!!

2006-01-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

i had a greatest new yr eve tis yr!!!! best of all!! why? go my darling by my side, few of my bestest fren that i ever have in life by my side moving on from 2005 to 2006!!! thanks to wan ping, gui jin, shi min and DAR DAR! they spent the new year eve with me!!!

friday nite dar stayed over at my hse, den we went over to his hse to get some stuff of his den move off to wan ping's hse at abt 5.30pm or so. we met guijin, shi min and gui pei(gj's sis) at farrer park mrt at 6.30pm. kekekee... made dar dar wore same t shirt as me~ hahha.. we both wore mickey mouse giodarno that yellow t shirt with jeans. hahah.. feeling so pai seh, funny, yet cool on the way.. haahaa.. but upon reaching farrer park, we realise we arent the only pair wearing couple clothes. hahhaa.. sm n gj also nehx!! kekeek... laughing our way., kekekee

we;re the first batch of frenz that reach wp's hse~~ realising that wp's bf not there n not gg to go~ we were so so angry!!! but what can we do? haiz.. dont know what happened between them too~ juz feel that he change so so much~~ anyway, change topic~~

we were there for the buffet, obviously i cant eat, so juz ate watermelon. kekeke.. den poor dar dar juz ate vege only... after the meal we went back to ping's rm. Uncle got us a bottle of red wine n they satart drinking in the rm. i tot red wine is fine, not very high alcoholic content. so they juz drank happily. after the first bottle, they return the empty bottle n uncle gave them another.. so here comes the second one. ping brought in her laptop n show us some funny indian guy's comedy show~~ i kinda bad in eng la~~ so quite a lot cant catch, still need darling to explain while laughing.

soon after the show ended, jin started to feel giddy n all.. so scary sia~~ first time see ppl got drank. she felt terrible so started crying.. scared me~ den after tat start talking stuff, den start laughing non stop. it was so contagious that i started laughing till my tummy so pain sia~~ hahaa... den after that she started talking words right from her heart that she has been hiding.. i cried upon hearing those stuff.. she seems to feel so terrible.. poor ger~~

after that we had a count down outside. keke.. we missed the count down actually. till ppl say happy new yr den we know count down over. missed the fireworks too!!! saded. but nvm~ got jin, ping, n darling by my side!!!

after that we went back to ping's rm, jin felt sleepy so she went to slp, sm was there with her, darling went missing... after that came back though. both sm n jin sleeping, dar also slept. pei dont know what to do also sit down there. den i went down all alone to look for ping lor.. she was there playing majong with her frenz. me? dont know how to play, juz sit down there doing nth. after that pei came down also looks bored n dont know what to do~ den dar came down. watch the soccer, den see them playing majong.

after the neighbouring table ppl left n jin they all came down, we start playing majong. hahhaa.. dont know how to play. anyhow hum tum. hahhahja.. quite fun! first time touching majong! hahaha.. so cool!!! know a bit bit now~ kekekee....

den we left. coz late le.. took cab back. great day!!!! all thanks to WAN PING< GUI JIN< GUI PEI< SHI MIN< AND < DARLING!!!!

xmas~~

2005-12-22T21:13:00.000-08:00

actually i was thinking, pondering whether i shld blog this down anot~ becoz i dont wanna leave any note of misery down anywhere to remind myself of sad things that happened to me~~ but in the end~~ i decided to blog it down~~ becoz~~ i really need to~~ i know i wont look back to my previous articles to see what i've wrote to remind myself of the pain~~ i juz hope that once i throw it into the computer~~ i'll forget it and leave it to the com.

this xmas is the worst xmas that i ever will have. though is the most holy one~ but is the worst. it makes me feel like i'm cursed~~ i'm cursed to be lonely for all my festive seasons. the first left me before v day, second left me before xmas~~ n yet.. the third. the one i love most, the one i treasure most, the one that love me most~~ the one tht.. i hate to see him cry n hurt him most~~ i got no choice but to leave him all alone this xmas to go for some holy class...

i really dont know~~~ dont know how to make it back~~ i know i cant make it back in any way, there is not another 2005 xmas.. but my love, my heart, my mind is still all with u~~ i left u something that i hope u wil like it... i hope that can represent me in bringing light to u when i'm not ard. i love u~~

u might feel that i can choose, i can rebel, i can juz go with u n fell out with my parents. but it is really something i cant do~ i'll try hard to gain my independent. trust me.

i love u!!

merry xmas

SO ACCURATE~~

2005-12-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

wow~~ yesterday something funny happened~~ actually is the day b4 la~~ hhahaha

okay~ was talking to my collegue~ den her "scandalous" was like msging her n all~~ some nerdy guy la~~ but we think he like her la~~ den msg here n there~~ den i say sacarly later he msg ask u go for lunch~~ she was like..: "er.. better not~~" in the end~~ that guy really asked her out for lunch sia~~~ wahaHAHAHAH

den after that we talk talk~~ den dont know why talked abt she taking transport~~ den i asked her~~ " have u ever missed ur stop?? if missed den how?? what will happened??" den she told me so far she has NV missed her stop~~ nv slept till nv wake up b4~~ n ON THAT VERY DAY!!! she actually really over slept n almost missed her stop lor~~~ wahahahhahaha... but luckily got ppl wake her up la~~ den she was like~~ wow~~ eerie!!!

hahaha.a.. yup~~

today work?? boring~~ realise ppl there are com idiots~~ really know nuts abt com~~ only simple stuff they can do~~ den helped "witch" to do her com job today~~ SO COLD!! her place is like antartica sia~~ damn damn cold~~~ freezed!!

boring day~~ ended!!!

st john~~

2005-11-29T03:41:00.000-08:00

wow~ i went st john for the wkend~ which is totally cool~~ but.. kinda short~~

27/11/05
we set of from my hse to raffles place mrt~~ we took nel to outram den to raffles place~~
den reach there at abt 9.15am~~ one of the latest~ ops~~ coz i tot is 9.20am meet there~~
den we waited for food and some in charge to come with the food~~ they reached abt 10++ i guess~~ den we set of to st john by boat~~
looking at the movement of the boat~ starting so not use to it~~ felt giddy for quite some time~~ den after that quite alright~~ stood at the back of the boat~~ in the open place~~ quite crowded but was cool~~ dar dar was sweet, he actually tot of bringing guava with prune powder scare i'll feel giddy n vomit in the boat~~ but i was fine~~ no one vomitted actually.

abt 11+ we reached the island~~ waited outside our bunk for quite some time coz they went to office to get the keys n all~~ at the mean time we had our first activity, drawing grp FLAG!! hahaa.. 4 grps in total, tok gong, ai zai, gang hor,gong gong~~ yup~~ i'm in gong gong n dar dar in ai zai and JY.. er.. i only know first grp but dont know the name~~

soon after we got the bed sheets n all~~ forgot where i went or what i do~~ wasnt at my bed when they distributing the bed sheet n dar dar did the bed sheet thingy for me~~ so nice n tidy~~ thanks dar~~ so SWEET! kekee...

after lunch we started our program~~ first with our wonderful story of a past saint "SHUN". he is an emperor. YS N ER really can act sia~~ so so funny~~ n Ber.. funny birdy~~ lol.. and YM is the ELEPHANT~~ skinny elephant~~~den moved on to some introduction of our whole program thingy, the religious stuff.. quite dry but informative~~

den to the cooking of maggie mee~~ we used mass tin~~ used stones at the base to stable the tin~ den got solid fuel~~ 6 matches to light up the solid fuel~~ i know nuts abt all those~~ so the guys did the stuff~~ all i do is juz cooking the mee~~ n almost got he whole thing down the drain coz the base wasnt stable~~~ but in the end we are the first grp to omplete cooking the mee and taste the best~~ lol~~

den after that~~ hmm... got some outdoor treasure hunt thingy~~ that was like COOL~~ juz too short n not challenging enough~~ but was quite fun~~ 4 stations.. one is to act some part of scriptures out~~ one is to run abt looking for some one resemble some sage and look for some password~~ one is to go round doing survey at a very quiet empty place like st john..lucky we manage to complete the task~~ n lastly is to join up some stuff la~~ after that was BBQ!!
n dar dar got alot of nice extra food~ he was all the while doin the bbq stuff~~ scare he nv eat den i feed him here n there~~ ppl complain we too sweet~~ hahaha... while others ask is he my elder brother~~ wahahahaha.. but here i conclude he is my DARLING> DEAR> LAO GONG!! after that got nite trail actually but me n dar dar didnt go~~ continue doing up last part of the bbq~~ he made a great food that all likes sia~~ so nice so crispy so wow~~ lol.. n all juz chiong for it~~

actually didnt wanna slp~~ wanna go beach area have some romantic time with dar dar~~ but they didnt allow~~ say too dangerous~~ so watched movie~~ but was too tired~~ den went slp at abt 2 i guess~~ no watch dont know time~ den got some blind folding stuff~ some water games~~ dar was like so so fast la~ got all ppl wet~~ hahaa.. but the water was like not very deep la~~ no fun!!! den cant go far too~~ sianded~~~

den after that lunch~ prize presentation~~ nothing much le~~ yup~~
went back home~~ yeah~~
enjoyed~~~
I WANT THE PIX!!!
=)

i hurt him~~

2005-11-24T21:16:00.000-08:00

hai... long story that i dont want to remember~~ but i've hurt him~~ again n again make him unhapy n sad~~ not because i've done anything that betrayed him.. but.. juz make him sad~~

darling i love u..
nothing gonna change my love for u~~
u are the one n only for me this life n forever
i dont know what to do to cheer u up~~
i juz wanna see the sunshine smile u use to have again~~
hearing u trying so so hard to talk properly in tears..
really HURT me so so hard~~
i juz cant stop tearing thinking of u crying all alone on ur bed~~
darling~~ i wont let u go~~
never~~ no matter what~~ i'm urs.. u are mine~~
nth can change this fact~
thanks for the love u've given me~~
thanks for the care u've shown~~
thanks for the tears u've shed for me~~
thanks for the change that u've done for me~
i can see~~ i can feel~~
i love u with all my heart n soul~~
darling~~ i LOVE u~~

why m i like that?

2005-11-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

sometimes i really wonder~~ why m i like that~~ i used to be so so contented with my life~~ so happy with everything ard me when i was a kid~~ when i start growing up~~ things changes.. i have my own views i have my own friends i have my own things to do~~ yet i dont have my own freedom, own choice, own world. i always admire ppl with firm character~~ do what they want~~ what they feel is right, defiant to parents at times to get their way thru. yet i can't. i really can't. i'm born in a way that as long as all are happy, i m happy~~

life shld be simple n happy~~ juz come to a conclusion that all are happy with.. will be gd le~~ BUT the complication comes when it is always not the case as all ppl have different views on different aspect. Y?? cause they live in a different environment, met with different ppl, different encounter, learn different things, see the world n life differently. thru experience, they have their own believe, perspective, mindset. u cant possibly have all to live life the same way. hence, all grow to have different mentality~

the problem arise here~ one family has more den one person~~ everyone got their on thinking and problem will arise~~ so who wins in the end?? of course the ones with louder voice, strongest stand will win~~ but doesnt mean those who juz kept quiet will lose. juz that they dont wanna talk in anger~~ they prefer to talk things out after all has cal down~~ calming down is real hard~~ i always cant do it too~~ getting too emotional is bad too~~ how?

i also dont know how~~ cox i also cant control my emotions too.. at times i feel like juz vanish in thin air... so that all problems will be solved. as i dont have to face them. sometimes i feel like juz running away totally. from my restricted home n go~~ but i've got my responsibility as a child. sometimes i feel like running away from the relationship~~ but I LOVE HIM!! SO SO MUCH!!! that i DONT want to. sometimes i hope that i'll get knock down by a car~ so that both my parents n darling will know that both parties love n care for me alot~~ and they can work hand n hand to see me recovering~~ sometimes i juz hope i can marry off straight away, so that i can at least break free from one side of the story~~

i know running away isnt a gd way~~ i m still thinking of a solution~~ i m trying to~~ really hope both my dar dar n my parents and stay in peace n harmony~~ hope to see them being happily together~~ coz they are all the ppl i LOVE MOST in the whole wide world~~ can lose anyone~ but THEM!!

lost weight!!!

2005-10-31T23:41:00.000-08:00

me n dar dar got sweeter den before le~~
lol... so happy~~ we got so sweet.. reunion le~~ lol~~ okay.. gg mad~~

okie.. today weighed! lighter le~~ now 77kg!! kekee..
den got ppl say i look pretty den slimmer~~ wahhahahahaha..

so happy today.. making a secret pressie for dar dar for our 4th month

YES!! 4th month is coming!!! fast right?
wahhahahahahaha...

kekeke.e.. k la~ kinda crap here...

yesterday cla paper done le~ now with maths n chem le~~ jia you!!!!!!!

a very wrong moved

2005-10-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

told him something i shldnt have told him yesterday... haiz...

my mum n i were talking den suddenly she brought the issue that my relatives like dont have very gd impression of him... he used to be asking alot about how my parents thought of him and all.. so i decided to let him know abt that.. haiz.. i was a wrong moved...

because i told him that.. den he actually got very bu shuang abt my uncle.. cause it was juz recently that my uncle saw him~~ juz we brought this issue up~ haiz... dar use to say that he don't want to have any tea ceremony when we got married. dont even want to have any wed dinner.. i was quite upset cause to me that marks the start of our marriage and is when that i can announce to the whole world i found my mr right who will love me and dote on me forever..

not long ago.. he got to know a fren of mine.. changing his thinking of not having a tea ceremony and the wed dinner.. because he found out that it is a gd way to so call earn back the money we use for the whole wedding thingy. den he agreed to have all that.. i was so delighted.. because my dream of my wedding day is going to become reality again~~~

haiz.. but all things juz ruin in my hands... i actually told him abt the impression thingy making him dislike my uncle now and saying that no more tea ceremony and he will nto be invited to my wedding dinner... my that uncle is my god father as well.. he dote on me alot too.. i really hope to have his blessing for my marriage too.. n hope dar dar can get along well with him too.. but now things turn out to be otherwise.. dreams is back to dreams again~~ haiz.. i made the very wrong moved...

our third month~~

2005-10-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

our third month falls on a friday.. dar dar normally will go home after he is release from his camp and we normally will only meet up on saturday morning.. but this day.. he came my hse!!! ekekeke.. so happy~~ we spent the whole night together.. din do much stuff.. but juz sit down talk talk... den exchange pressie~~

he was so so sweet.. he actually spending lots of his time doing cross-stitch for me~~ meltz~~ cant imagine the process.. a guy making a cross stitch~~~ wonder if he had ever made one for his ex... hmmm... oh!! and her gave me a necklace~~ kekeke.. to tie me up?? lock up my heart to be juz for u? kekekee.... nice necklace.. is a heartshape den.. but is like 2 heartshape putting together making up a 3 D effect~ dont know how to describe. dont have good vocab here.. ops! kekekee...

i gave him a book. juz a book that hopefully he is still interested in and help him in his interest~ yup!

love u forever!!! HAPPY 3RD MONTH!!! and the 4th is coming~~ what shld i do for him???

mum's operation~

2005-10-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

ya~ as my title goes.. my mum really went for an operation not long ago.. she had some.. er.. chinese is called niao shi jing n if i m not wrong is some bladder tension thingy. ya...

she went to KK hospital and had her operation~~ it was a minor operation so wasnt that bad~~ she was admitted a day before.. den the next day she had a minor operation which lasted for think around 2 hours?? after which den she got to rest there for a day.. den the next day can go home le~~ dar dar went with me to fetch her back~~

we thought that everything is gonna be fine.. but when she's back.. she said that the problem still persist.. sianZ~~ den she went back for appointment and the doctor said that it is juz the initial state.. it will be better.. but after a few days.. the doctor called back and said that my mum got to be admitted again for a second round of operation~ she say that she will charge her lesser as she felt bad not being able to cure her for the first time too..

den another whole day spent in hospital again. luckily.. she is feeling better now.. no more leakage when she has cough or when she's sneezing.. initially she is not allowed to do a single hsework.. but now she's able to do some light job le~~ yeah~~ but now... haiz.. coz mummy din work for a month and is not allowed to work for another 2 more months.. sobz... our family is having a financial problem soon~~ hopefully i'm able to start work straight after my a levels so that i will be able to at least lighten their load by not taking money from dad or sis anymore~~

so long nv blog le~~

2005-10-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

it's been a long time since i last blog in.. think.. is really long le la... cant track back.. so so so many things happened in the period of time.. dont know where to start too.. hmm... guess... er... i really dont know. i shall start from what i wanna write today.. will put in more entries with the events that happened.

tml is the start of my a level. scary isnt it?? tml is my chem practical... monday is my CLA!! oh man~~ how how how?? hmm.. anyway.. i guess i m more prepared than i m last yr. at least i know what is going on in sch and all.. tuition did paid off as i m getting better with more personal help. however, sad to say.. havent start working i m having debts le.. luckily is without interest.. gd teacher!!! kekeke...

tml is dar dar's last paper after the 3 months.. den he'll be moving on to tuas to work le~~ wonder if that is good or bad~~ wonder if he'll be more busy or less. wonder will we have more time together or not..

today saw TY(godsis) scary la~ she like slim down so so much till like a bone in skin ?! her diet is that she dont eat lunch n no rice for dinner~~ oh man!! n i told her that she needs to get on some weight yet she says she wanna lose 2 more kg~~ she is crazy la~~ looking so so bony n unhealthy la~ scary... i hope i won't be like her.. using the same diet but with a low fat n carbo lunch instead of none. i s till prefer her to be "Fatter?" ya.. not like now~~~

den today went ning's hse.. called the agency for a job in some bank~ that was ning's agency in the past. den sent my resume in n all her reply was thanks for the resume.. hope she's able to get me a job~~ heard that i still need to go for interview~~ scary~~ nv been to any interview in my whole entire work life~~ may god be with me~~

today got to prepare for tml's pract... cannot talk to dar dar.. guess he muz be missing me like mad~~(HE BETTER BE~~ lol) i'm missing him too~~

shopping day

2005-09-19T20:22:00.000-07:00

today is shopping day~~ hahhahaa.. meeting my great beloved friend knowing her since sec 1 the great thannaletchimy d/o thannagopal.. hahaha.. aka.. sara wilcox. hahhaa.. yup.. she is indeed a special fren of mine as she does speaks CHINESE!!! fluent chinese... (note: fluent doesnt mean chim complex or high standard of chinese) hahaha.. yup.. so.. how come we meet?? why??? it is all because of the great mooncake that she remembers my presence.. haix.. kinda sad to know that i am equivalent to a mooncake.. but it's okay.. we got to meet and see each other!! wow!! hahaha.. yup..

we suppose to meet at orchard mrt at 11am.. but so so so happened that we met at bishan mrt station and went orchard together.. she became so so skinny.. so thin.. envy.. but she follwing a strict diet.. almost like what i about to start with.. scary... but with the effect that i've seen~ i guess i'll have more confident to slim down le~~ she wanted to get a french dictionary as she is studying french now.. hahaha. so we went kinokuniya first~~ after she found her french dictionary.. i went on to find a present for my dar dar..hope that he din get it before me~~ i doubt he is able to get till next month la~~ haha.. coz last copy and i order from them de~~ kekeke..

next up we went to taka foodcourt for lunch.. share one plate. yup.. hahhaa.. with a cup of lime juice.. den went to hmv to get the vcd that her brother wanted.. haha.. but in the end.. all the way there and found out that not out yet.. den we move on to scotts road for yumi yogert!! so so nice!!! healthy too.. hahaha.. 97% fat free.. kekeke.. with strawberry toppings.. yummy!! hahahaha...

okay.. so we are back to wisma.. yup.. went to charles and keith to look for shoes.. hahhaa.. she got a 20% voucher.. so we both looked ard and got ourselves 2 pairs of slippers each.. nice nice de.. one pair is same de.. the other is not.. spent $45.50 on both shoes.. heart ache!~ but all my shoes spoil le.. no choice... yup.. but really nice and comfy. yup! another gd thing is they got bigger sizes.. so that i'm able to get it. hahhaa...

den went on to pepperplus to look around as she's planning to get some skirts.. in the end she got a pants and a skirt.. nice nice.. hai.. slim le wear wat ever also nice.. so gd!!!! i oso want to be like that!! ahhaha... yeah!!!!

after that walk around... found a place to sit den we chat chat a while den went back home le.. same journey back~~ yup.. oh~~ we met 2 ppl today.. while walking towards charles and keith.. she met her crush.. R ... hahah.. den she was so so happy~~ keke.. after that when we went back.. we saw Zi yuan at the mrt station.. haha.. so long nv see le~~ still as pretty.. haha.. more famine lor~~ yup!!! kekee...

4.20 reached home.. tired.. den slp.. haha.. 6++ woke up.. wanted to msg dar tell him i wake up le.. den juz tot if we are linked.. as in mentally in mind in heart... he will msg me de.. went toilet to relief my bladder and there.. he really sent a msg to me!!!! hahaha.. love you dar dar!!!!

day trip to ikea~

2005-09-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

hehe.. last saturday dar dar goldfish and me we all go ikea together.. hahaha.. why?? buy the wok my mummy want.. kekeke.... 8.50 nia lehz.. cheap cheap sia... kekekee...

we suppose to walk to the 147 bus stop la~~ den i.. haha... i lost my way.. den we walked a long long way b4 we reach the bus stop.. den got on the bus and the journey was.. wow.. almost an hour long~~

here we reach ikea~~ cool~~ the place is so so big!! so so fun!! got to see how different type of furniture make up a wonderful place.. den think abt how we should design our future hse.. the different things we like to place in our hse and all.. den nice nice weird weird furniture..yeah!! that;s the way man!!!

after that went hagendaze... dont know how to spell la~~ ya. the ice cream shop.. wow. the ice cream so so nice~~ the crunch.. so so tasty... wow.. nice man~~ hahahaha.. love it~ den after that sit there talk talk.. wah!! $51.20 for 3 only wor.. ex nehz.. heartache for him ar~~ but nice wor.. hehehe....

after that came back home eat long tong.. nice nice.. mummy make day.. eat n eat all day.. fatter le la~~~

dont leave me in silence..

2005-08-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

this few days.. we din talk much.. din meet him last wk.. miss him so much... yet.. seems like we have nth to talk on the phone le~~ dunno why.. been thinking why.. but no ans even when i msg and ask.

he called me ytd.. twice.. yet.. din talk much too... juz a few sentence den put down le...

miss those days...

missing you...

missing the love u used to shower me with..

miss those talk rubbish days...

miss those sweet moments we had together...

miss the secure feeling u gave me...

miss you~~

do you miss me too??

frankly... i can take it even u dont...

i wun do silly things to force u to be mine...

juz be frank with me~~

....

2005-08-16T03:29:00.000-07:00

hmm... wonder why.. wonder why i got so much so in love with him le.. hai.. wonder is it a gd thing a not.. i felt that i a bit too possesive le.. like.. i juz want to be with him all the time.. want to know wat he is doin.. want to know everything abt him.. all his frenz.. wanna know how to be the only ger that he'll want. i actually shld trust him... but sometimes.. it's really hard for me to trust a person when i really fall for him.. i start to wonder if he really like me.. start to wonder if i'm in his heart all the time...

at the beginning.. we msg almost every min every sec.. soon... we talk on the phone when i got home... den he got quite poor den cant really msg that much.. in the end only get to talk at nite... when we are both free... miss all the msges that i got.. miss those time when i felt so much loved... when time pass.. i grown to have a fear in me.. i scared he'll go.. i scared he'll leave me.. i scared he'll juz go without telling me... without knowing why he's gone. i'm scared that coz i got too possesive that he'll dislike me.. scared coz i love him too much that he got sick of me.. scared that one day if he found his ideal ger.. i will have to leave... so much fear in me that i dunno wat to do..

i really felt that i'm getting too possessive but i dun want to. i wanna let him has his freedom. has rm of his own do wat ever he want. sometimes i will wonder if our difference make him dun want me as his ger... the more i got myself into the relationship... the more i will think.. think abt whether he truely like me anot.. think abt whether the more he knows abt me.. the more he will like me or the less he will like me..

i think i'm really thinking alot.. maybe i too sensitive.. little things will make me wonder alot n think pessimistically... i juz cant help be being like that...

i miss you.

5683 366 4382

2005-08-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

my parents and sis went back msia le~~ on last saturday.. and from that day till now i'm alone at home.. saturday went hospi see XH mum. so scary... the moment i saw i really cant stop myself to tear lor.. she turn so so skinny~~ hate to see that lor~ den she semi conscious.. sad scene...

after tat went to religious class with CW.. stupid ger.. in the end make use of me den go out with her bf.. win liao la~~ owe me a life le ar~~

den the next day is 7th aug!!! me n dar's 1st month!!! kekeke.e. he gave me a bottle with stars and capsule supposedly with some strips of papers with words on it inside.. in the end.. accident happened.. he took back that bottle say pass me next time.. he gave me a box with a nice smelling little.. er.. pillow? inside. hahahaa.. kinda china.. but is nice~ coz from dar dar ma~~ den we went simei that pet safari to see see look look.. den lots of cute dogs lo.. the husky so nice~~ but the eyes very scary.. den got one very carpet looking dogging.. so furry and soft like dat lor.. very cute~~ hahahaa... after that we walk ard that east point. den came back.. preparing to go kick boxing.. in the end nv go.. haahaa.. den stayed at home.. talk.. den he use com.. den i went to watch tv.. haha. shang hai noon.. nice wor... den he came out watch with me a while.. den went into the kitchen dunno do wat.. in the end he was cutting fruits for us to eat~~ kekeke.. nice fruits.. sweetest ever.. felt so great!! like newly wed couples like dat!! hahaha.. died!!! got a sudden urge to marry him!! ops.. hahahaha

actually was some unhappy thingy ytd too.. coz i need to be back home to pray by 5pm.. den he plan actually to bring me see pets den go his hse watch initial D de.. in the end.. coz of me having to come back den spoil his plan.. sorry dar dar.. he got quite worked up.. hai.. see him like dat i oso duno wat to say.. den i suddenly tot i might loose him some day some how coz of my religion and believe.. or coz of my mum or wat ever.. my wonderful future of living with him suddenly seems so blur.. hai.. keep thinking shld i gif all out in the relationship.. coz i really scared. scared that if one day he turn to me n say.. "i cant take it anymore!! let break up!" wah!!! kill me man!! i really duno wat i will do then la~ suddenly thinking i shldnt love him so much anymore~~ but i still cant keep all my love that i've already given out.

but later the day.. he said he's at fault too.. shld be more understanding twd my life and learn to adapt to it.. Lao Gong~~ love u so so so much.. thanks for all u are doing for me and gg to do for me~ cant wait for 4 yrs later... he reassured me that we will love till eternity!! love ya boy~~

SHE DUN UNDERSTAND, SHE'S NOT UNDERSTANDING AND SHE'S NOT TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

2005-07-31T07:31:00.000-07:00

hai.. my mum.. today i told my dad i'll be back by ard 8++ den in the end i reach home at abt 9+ den in the end.. kena black face again.. for the past few days.. she's been giving me this black face all the while.. since the day that i went tuition from 11pm till 1am.. she's so so so unhappy abt it.. den till yesterday shes still not very much talking to me.. only until last nite.. den she got talk to me a bit bit.. but today.. hai.. back to norm.. say i dun regard this home as my home. always not in at all.. wat is call i'm always at home den?? since monday till friday i've been coming back straight after sch and all.. din go out. din stay out till late nite. only ytd went out studying with ning n mark.. den today went dar's hse.. tt;s all!! is that too much?? my only 2 wkend i only want it to be days where i can do wat i want!! but den.. she juz unhappy abt it.

wat ever i do .. she''s always bu shuang.. i did the hse work.. i did do watever i can to help.. though at times i'm really lazy or tired.. but if i can.. i wil help.. but she juz dun see it.. when i have the money.. i dun ask from them.. i even will get things for them.. but she dun see it.. well.. i dunno why.. she's juz so so against me~ ever since she know tt i'm attached.. she's becoming so so weird.. i dun like this her!!! she says i dun like to come home.. so she;s giving me black face wanting me to realise that i'm at fault. isnt that funny!! i dun haf the ability to read mindS!!! moreover.. i dun see that i'm wrong!! in addition.. the more black face i get.. the more i'm unwilling to be at home.. so.. conclusion.. the vicious cycle will juz go on n on!!! juz hate it!!!

sian totally

2005-07-26T02:36:00.000-07:00

hai.. daddy juz came in.. saying he had already took the leave on 8th aug le... SIAN TOTALLY LA... my first month with dar dar is on 7th.. the trip to msia is from 6th till 9th... OUR SUNDAY!!! gone!! sobz.. i dun wanna disappoint him.. he said he will throw away wat he made for me if i m unable to turn up.. but.. hai.. i really wanna see him i really will miss him too.. i really hope to spend my first month anniversary with her too.. i really want!!!! but.. hai.. why?? why always like dat??
sian la~~~

KILL ME!!!

4 days cant contact HIM!!!!!!! argh!!!!

KILL ME!!!

wat a wk

2005-07-25T23:52:00.000-07:00

alot of things happened recently... really alot~

let's start with something not so pleasant. She disappoint me alot.. we treat her as our great fren. share all our sorrows and happiness with her.. trying hard to work hard together n go into uni together.. we really dun wanna see her juz give up at the very last lap.. we wanna help her.. but She juz cant see how hard we are trying to help her.. how much we are doin to help her and how much we really care for her.. She hurt her mum so so much.. She juz got so blind by all her personal thoughts that She duno how much her mum is worrying for her. She juz know that she is feeling very stressed up and vex by her own problem but She nv realise that She has hurt and disappoint so so so many ppl... She juz went missing.. juz missing... vanish in the world n no one can be able to reach her except HIM. i hate HIM. really HATE HIM. i use to have neutral feeling for HIM. treat HIM as a fren.. BUT NOW... i saw the real HIM. the selfish HIM the HIM that is always presenting a gd front ONLY! hai.. i'm realy very ANGRY at HIM.
She started my gear on the study an strive hard.. She scolded sense into us and worried for us when we are kinda off track and distracted... She pulled us all back on track. BUT NOW... She herself juz jump out of the track having a great berlin wall in between us not allowing us to even express how we feel abt it...
NOW all things have come to a conclusion.. she still MIA... sometimes i really cant stop myself to think that we are losing one great fren coz of HIM. HE bring abt all this problem. HE is the culprit of all.. if not for HIM. things wun turn out this way. is HIS fault! i will NV forgive HIM ever! NV!
( i might sound very much in my extreme mood.. but that's how i feel at this moment. i;m really very angry and disappointed. we really will accept all ur decision but think properly and pls... we are not fren becoz we are in the same sch and having the same aim and the frenship dun end with juz u leaving the sch.. but with u not wanting to contact us and trust us as ur fren anymore~)

forget abt that.. now abt my own thingy. mY parents know abt my dar dar le.. on sunday.. though i nv see much sign of approval but i oso see NO sign of denial. hahhaaha.. i love DAR DAR.. kekee... but sad to say.. our first month anniversary i have to go Msia!!!!!! i dun wanna go!!! first time lehz.. having a FIRST MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! i wanna spent it all with dar dar. juz dar dar n no one else.. but.. hai.. hope my dream can come true...
we talked alot yesterday.. and i promise him i will score AAB or at least BBC for my A level this yr n i REALLY WILL! i have the motivation now n i will strive hard to get it there! love u dar dar.. i wun leave u n pls dun leave me... even u want to.. dun leave me in silence.. do let me know abt it~~ love ya lots.. 520 184 1314 3344...

Dar dar house

2005-07-23T22:52:00.000-07:00

hehehee... very long nv blog le hor?? hehehe.. my stupid com a bit the cannot make it le.. stupid!!!! type one letter den come out alot of letters... lazy to use that stupid com le la~~ sian..

now at dar dar's hse~ hahah!!! he now cooking spaghetti~ wow.. jing de liao chu fang chu de liao ting tang de gd dar dar nehz~~~ hehee.. lazy to type le la~~ wahahahhahaa...

hmm.. k k.. shall continue.. went east coast this morning with Pei Pei and Pei Wen... hehehehe... PP dunno how to cycle.. we manage to teach her today wor.. ahhahaa.. such an achievement.. but butt very pain ar~~ sobz.. hahahahah.... but PP very poor thing .. though she nv fell... but still got alot of scars and injuries.. poor ger~~ *sayang*

k la.. lazy to type le la.. really end here le.. hehehee.. looking fwd to more outings~~ hahahahaha

tata~~~

sweet DARLING

2005-07-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

my sweet sweet darling~~ i LOVE u!!

hahaha.. juz 2 days ago.. wednessday that day.. was quite a busy day.. or shld i say afternoon cum evening. morning din go sch la.. overslept. so.. yup.. slept till abt 9+ den eat breakfast, watch tv a while.. den after that start doin my chem NMR. den after that did some maths.. Hypothesis testiing.. den after that do some hsE work den went for tuition at "RJC" hahhaa.. from 4 till 6+ den after that came back home. when i juz got down the bus, my hp rang, mummy called. "hey, u giving tuition today ar? how come u told me u having tuition urself?" den u was so so shock coz really din plan to have tuition that day, but my collegue change hp number den din save my number down. so she came all the way down n try if i am available for tuition as friday her child cant make it.

yup~ down for tuition again!! den half way thru my dar dar called. "hey, sorry lehz.. having tuition.. call u later at 9 k?? tuition ending at 9pm." he replied,"oh~ den see u at 9pm lor.." shock right? haha... den he really come down!!! den i shock la~~ den had to lie to my mum say go down pass thingy to my fren, den meet him.. kekee... *guilty* lolx.

Xin Fu Shi Shen Me

2005-07-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

hmm... i'm attached. ya.. attached after 2 yrs. with him. on the 7th of july 2005.

he is someone i got to know online. not very safe i know. but he is a gd guy as far as i know. he treat he ex so so well that i'm actually quite jealous. when his ex got sick. demanded that he have to go down to cook for him, he did it. straight after work, from tuas to bedok juz to cook dinner for her. when he is juz 10 min late, his gf shouted at him threw all the temper and all yet he still coax her till she ate sth and all.. scold him and all. den hai.. alot la..

he treats me well.. but he working as a navy have to go back to camp for wkdays and only wkends are available. so kinda busy and din really have much time for me. alright la.. is a blessing in disguise i guess.. coz only den i can concentrate on my study.

miss him. today he nv msg me. coz he forgot to pay his hp bills den in the end singtel cut off his line. sobz.. den only saw one msg of his today. saying abt this using his fren's hp. tt's all.. hai... dunno muz wait till when den will receive his msg le..

LONG DREADFUL DAY

2005-06-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

hai.. today.. long long day..

6.20 am woke up..
painfully drag my body out of the bed. wonderful soft bed. den went to wash up and got myself my breakfast. so so long nv wake up so so early le.. really cant get use to it... first period is CLA 2. din really complete my work.. but able to discuss and all lor~ den the test still can do.. so still alright~ after that comes maths.. got kinda lost coz din noe abt the new tutorial we've got. gd thing that simon has it and helped me photocopy it. THANKS. den follow up next is chemistry. wow.. ms S juz comes in BOMB the class! complaining we are not being initiative enough to get the ans for tutorial abt grp II elements and all saying that she wondering how we can take our chem CT today. scolding us abt our attitude. and heard that she even scolded the class yesterday for the electrochem test not doin it well. sobz. scared le~

up next. is ... hmm.. BREAK~ wonderful part of the day. finally can let my brain, eyes, hands, wateva have a gd gd rest~~ wow.. but yet.. alright la~~ did some resting some hw and all.. den times UP! sianded. went in for maths LECTURE~ coz i had my notes copied last yr. so din have to copy any stuff. in the end got so so slpy in lecture that i doze of in a way that the lecturer can see.. coz i din mean to slp lor~~ den she walked up to me to check my books and all.. realising i m a repeat student. den saying that i shld be listening not slping. though she is nice in a way coz she nv reprimand me in front of the lecutre hall and din really scold me. but got me a real big SHOCK. ya.. den kinda woke up a bit.. but still slpy. den she continued her lecture.. den suddenly i heard she say that our prelim is in 10 WKS time~~~ I GOT THE SHOCK OUT OF MY LIFE!!! time really FLIES~~ sobz.. not much time left for my a level preparation le~~~

den after that is another long break coz i din take GSC. yap. completed my CLA hw.. den did some studying on chem test. den slack ard for a while. den start our CLA 1 lesson. wow.. i was kinda bad.. coz juz couldnt get my eyes to open. TRIED real hard... but failed~ felt bad. but gd thing the teacher is real gd. din really scold me or wat for that.. she really very motherly and understands us best~ come to think of it.. our sch chi teachers are the BEST~~

after that got GP. din really know wat they doin today. dry and boring stuff again. ya.. den did my CLA1 hw there. den complete studying my chem test there too.. yeah~ great~ den joke ard den gone for PE. hai.. always fail my NAFA. den haf to redo and redo. training and more training. sian lehz. but come to think of it. can jian fei oso not bad la~ hahaha.. ya...

den CHEM TEST~~~ wow.. 1 pc of paper with 5 questions. all need to have like quite long ans lor~~ den write and write and write. din even have much time to really think deeply.. hope i dun get the ans too off. den cant even think abt the last question. the calculation part juz see le anyhow hamtum in numbers and get watever values i can first. sobz.. forgot the equations and stuff. wasted quite alot of marks.. saded...

ya.. 6.30pm and we are dismissed.. TIRED~~

first day working as SALES

2005-06-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

today is my first day working as sales...

first thing in the morning~~ ALMOST late~~ kinda bad la.. first day den like dat.. but who knows.. my two other fren living nearer to tamp than me got there even later.. best right? but luckily they din go without us la~yeah... started off feeling so much so those hated sales gg from door to door.. coz me myself oso din really like to entertain those door to door sales ppl lor~ but quite excited to be challenged to be a sales la... so got quite crazy at the start.. think quite AA too la~~

den we moved on to get our t shirt n got our tag.. we changed and met back at tamp mrt station. yup.. after that we moved on to those nearby block which are mansionate(hope din spell wrongly) den we start our first meeting at the void deck at block 148. ya.. den we were splitted into 2 groups.. dunno why.. i got to be one of the group leader la~ ya.. hahahha.. *blur* den one very gd n funny thingy.. our grp is the "Girls' Sch Group" all of us were from gers sec sch de.. haha.. so click on real well n fast~

starting we really go door to door.. knock on everyone asking everyone...den met with different kind of ppl...target is to get 2 toothpaste sold off by one hour.. which we have to sell 8 per day actually.. but in the end... quite bad la~~ after one whole hour.. we still made no sales as yet.. which is BAD!!! but we actually met with alot of weird n funny ppl... hahaha.. there is one auntie.. very funny la~~ she answered us when we asked is there anyone in.. den her reply was..." No~~ no one at home~~" wow.. GHOST ar~ ghost answered lehz.. in the daylight wor~~ funny right? den after that.. got our grp the two gers got to sold 2.. after like i think 2 hours i guess.. but we got none out la~~ maybe too inexperience n not thick skin enough ba~

after that got back for meeting again~~ our grp got the best result~~ coz of the two gers.. *claps* den they got to share their experience.. den we moved on to start out work again.. this time~ we change our grouping lor~~ ning, daph n jiaying(best promoter of the day) one grp... sheree and i another grp. den we moved on~

second part of the sales.. we got to realise.. christians and eng educated ppl are more willing to listen to us.. and UNCLES they are so GOOD~~~ they listened and really gave us hopes n chances la~~ yup~~ a few of them ALMOST wanted to buy lor~~ but in the end.. their WIVES!!! argh!! really zui du fu ren xin~~ (opps.. think i m female too.. ops... a bit too exaggerating) but really la~ if not of them ar~~ think those uncles will buy from us lor~~ they got the thingy.. ask wife.. den the auntie will come out.. dun want la dun want la!! sorry la!!

den we tot mansionate ppl are hard to persuade hence moving on to flat.. hai.. worst~~ we walked the whole flat only like 2 to 3 listened to us.. den quite demoralising.. moving on to the other block~ WOW~ love the 6th floor uncle~~ he got it from us!!! wahhahahaa.. so happy... my first toothpaste sold!!! really hard earned money sia~~~ though alot of funny ppl.. weird things that we've encounted.. a day of real experience learning alot more abt the world.. abt the reality.. abt the society.. that we din use to know.. a great eye opener~

after that last debriefing.. the pros (those in the job quite some time de seniors) ACTUALLY SOLD 4 juz from one block lor~~ win le right? hai... jia you~~~ we can make it beta the next time!!!

PS: now i learn to appreciate different jobs n has less dislike for sales ppl le~~ really pity them for getting into the job but.. i think all i will is to listen to them but still doubt will buy anything from them la~~

concert nite

2005-06-20T18:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday :

Sushi making day. woke up quite late la.. den after lunch start making my sUSHI~~ kekeke... the rice was kinda too sticky le.. coz put too much water when i cook the rice.. den after that put some salt , sugar n vinegar~~ kekeke.. den start wrapping.. was fast n gd la.. juz that starting one or two my mum say too er.. loose? ya.. den not firm enough.. planned to make only 10 la.. but in the end.. made 18 i think.. i mean rolls~~ each roll can cut out 8 sushi pieces.. so.. can imagine how much i've made!

after that ning came my hse..coz i asked her to come over.. kekek.. coz i wanna go her hse borrow shoes ma.. keke.. concert muz wear formal a bit.. got clothing no shoes.. so.. yup... wore a pink top inside with a black long sleeve top out. den a pink base strip skirt. den got a pair of black heels from ning. ya.. very formal n lady like wor.. first time ever. but suffered alot lor...

suppose to reach the concert by 7pm.. tot it was 7.30.. den late lor.. saded. got ning to go with me.. kekeke.. den i went concert n she went shopping till the concert ends at abt 9+. den go meet her again... kinda road idiot la.. from esplanade to suntec.. half an hour plus den reach. hahhaa.. went wrong way... den wanted to eat ice kachang till ard 1030 den go de.. coz very tired and legs aching ma.. but the food court closing down ar.. den pai seh to stay too long.. den walk slowly back lor.. promise ning that will go home with her den go home from there.. indeed i did it.. n reach home juz b4 12midnite.. like cinderalla like dat. hahhaa..

tiring day~~~

wow...

2005-06-14T00:29:00.000-07:00

SO SO SO LONG NV BLOG LE~~
kekeke.. alot of things happened la.. my blog change a bit..the MOO MOO... my niece come my hse stay... learn to wrap the rice dumpling... the relative OUTING~~ sentosa outing~~ oh man~ alot wor...

hahah.. too much le.. shall say a bit here n there...
sentosa one was cool~~ went all ard sentosa for treasure hunt.. so tired.. den wei ren kor kor treat us drink at subway... den teach us psycho stuff... hahaha.. make me wanna learn psychology too.. you sheng oso haf the same mentality as me~~ kekeke... after that play water game~~ WAH SO MALU everyone look at us see duno wat we doin... hahhaa.. eyes so pain!!! den after that play monkey in the water!! wahha.. FUN!!! kekeke.. y?? coz got ppl like bernard to do stupid stuff to enertain us.. den ya ming there playing along.. den still got this couple for us to suan... den we are at the water end.. the ball come we will juz smash into the water! wow.. COOL~~~ great day!

next... dumpling day~~ i made 11!!! kekeke.. coz mummy scared my standard not gd enough den dun let me continue... in the end!!! ONLY 1 IS SPOILT!!! the rest very nice k!!! den ar... only one not very nice lehz.. mummy dun cut that one coz she scared cannot differentiate mine n hers!!! see!! got standard k?? den dunno i crazy or wat.. that day VERY guai lor.. do all the household chores till almost died!!!

last~ the RELATIVE OUTING... with jing yi (niece) and cai wei (cousin). CW so chio lor.. where till so ger!! den ar.. catch alot of attention~ scary!! den that crazy JY keep singing xio ba chang ( hot meat dumpling in hokkien). madness.. den dunno wat's gone into her.. keep singing oldies n all.. crazy la!! den after that went to orchard!! boring place actually.. den we went quite early.. dun haf much ppl. went to heeren to take NEOPRINTS~ hahaha.. took 2 wor.. ex hor!! but JY paid first la.. she rich ma!! ahhahaha.... den so fun!! that CW care so much abt her xing xiang... take the neoprint almost all same pose!! kekeke.... alot of close up pix. nice!! but the whole body one NOT NICE!! can see my FATS!! sobz.. wahhahahaha....

STUPID MP3

2005-05-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

hai.. this stupid mp3 is so so troublesome.. i'll nv get any brandless or lousy brand stuff ever sia... stupid lor. n is really not cheap la.. 150 bucks lehz.. okay la.. not i buy de la.. my sis got it for me,.. oh.. ya.. haven say why.

this stupid mp3 which is branded as SYNERGY is lousy la.. is like that time she got it for me.. after less den 2 months.. the stupid thingy dunno why.. when i listen one side got sound one side no sound.. tot is my ear piece.. but change le still same.. nvm.. den i go find the shop to see if they can help me service it.. den ar.. went down to orchard cant find that stupid midpt orchard... in the end.. think walk for abt half an hour den found it.. still haf to ask ard den know.. ulu area!!! den that person say help me send for service.. for one whole wk i dun haf a mp3!! so tong ku le lor....

this morning i got his phone calll. telling me that i can go get a new mp3 , they will to change one for me.. when i reach there they say coz the person request for 50bucks to service it for me.. so they decided to give me a new one instead.. den ar!! that new one is worst la!! can even use lor.. is like dunno the batt part too loose or wat lor.. sian lehz.. really cmi lor!!! den now.. look at it make me angry!! PEK CHEK AR!!!!

after mid yr...

2005-05-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

MID YR IS OVER!! but i only happy for 3 days... now.. stress again. hai...

chem i din do really well.. though did beta den previously in sch la.... but think at most i can only pass la.. not even a D?? hai.. my aim? GONE!! sobz.. hope aiming for a C in prelim is not a dream.
den for maths.. dun haf much hope too.. paper 1 almost half cannot do.. p2 only can do stats. ya.. so.. equally bad.. only hoping for a E too.. ya... sobz... as for CLA... not known yet.. teacher haven review anything yet.. not for today la.. i nv go sch.. so dunno. hahaha.. ops.. why? coz.. coz.. too tired le la.. need some rest. today all lecture.. rather not go sch.. PL again!! haha... as for gp... dunno la.. under that teacher i oso dun think i can do well la.. with her.. hai.. so bored so dunno la. juz think she cant teach la.. compare to KT last yr.. though fierce but really gd lor.. hai.. now only listen to more grandma stories everyday.. getting so so bored!

anyway.. after mid yr is my best time.. for 3 days.. but now.. back to suffering.. back to hell..

hai.. my mp3!! when can it come back to me.. so bored without it!! argh!! i want my mp3!!!

yeah!! out whole day!!

2005-05-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

today went out almost whole day.. busy day!

morning 10.30am.. tuition starts.. suppose to be at 10am.. but my student came late. so started later. den ends at 11.45.. coz her mum came earlier.. den i got sth on at 1pm too.. so release her earlier.

den rush down to hougang sports complex at 12.30.. luckily reach there at 1245pm.. coz told HN to reach earlier.. told her meet at 1245 but in the end.. she rush from tuition oso.. den late. while waiting saw a sr band senior jun long. ya.. den.. lucky thingy is that the free trail today for the body sculpt started late. den funny thing is only 2 of us went!! mad lor.. den the yoga class ppl some joined us.. coz is free ma.. juz went lor.. den pathetic 5 of us. starting is some warm up with aerobics steps.. den after that had some work outs with dump bells. wah!! can die!! keeping the arms in the air with the weight almost killed me! kekee... den after tat did some leg stuff.. tiring! den is some ab stuff.. that one.. oso quite tiring. keke.. overall is tiring la. but fun! now arms n legs very suan!

den after that ard 2.45 came back home. bath. den go for tuition at 4+ suppose to be ar 4. den we postpone to 4.15 but still late.. keke.. 4.20 den reach.. today we gone crazy in tuition. out of control. den ryan looks so troubled. coz dunno how to stop us! ahhaha. who ask him use wrong eg. kekee..

den after tuition went orchard! abt 7.30 pm like dat.on the way to kovan mrt... btw.. we walked la.. coz HN's bus fare ex ma.. den on the way.. saw benji(sr ex councillor) den saw andy n his gf, ya.. den took train down to orchard. keke.. so long haven been there le.. actually go there to get my mp3 repaired la. den it;s at midpt orchard. dunno where it is.. look high n low walk from orchard to somerset to orchard pt to meradians to orchard pt again den to UOB bank area den saw the word midpt orchard!! madness lor.. so tiring n hot! humid actually.

after which we go HMV. i mean heerens la. outside there say chong beng( sr vball de.. i dunno him la.. S n HN's fren) den walk ard.. saw marcus n his gang when S bought us ICE CREAM! kekek.... den S wanted to get a top coz very hot. den went up.. saw phyllis.. cedar band senior.. den saw MH!! keke.. long time no see le! kekeke.. den after that nth to do.. so went PS. S's boy there la.. keke.. den HN got to buy "sth" lor.. so waited for her. after which we went take neoprints!! KEKE.. nice wor.. hope can upload to frenster den ppl can see our cute chio face! kekee... (bhb) ... after which i go home le.. is ard 10.15 ba.. din noe we were out that long till shelia told me is 9.45 le. haha..

on the way back saw alan xu n pei shan on the train. they went out with their sec sch gang. keke...

dropped at SK. den reach home sharp at 11! hahhaa.. not over the curfew timing. keke...
had a great day today. miss all my frenz! great time walking ard being mad talking abt all sorts of rusbbish coming out with all sorts of crazy ideas. den acting here n there. singing too. haha.. so happy!!!

TML LAST PAPER!!!

2005-05-11T02:17:00.000-07:00

hahaa... wat a big contrast from the previous one.. yes! tml is last paper.. shld say half of a paper!! kekek.. coz only maths paper 2~~ n is in the afternoon!! ahhaha.. can slp till i shuang! hahaha.. den after that can enjoy! no la.... go tuition.. kekeke.. coz student's mid yr coming.. haha.. nice one right? right after my paper.. heng ar..

so.. let;s see..my plan for friday!! ahhaha.. wahhahaha.. wanna go watch movie lehz.. but now ar.. increase by a dollar again lehz!! scary right? siao liao la.. stupid cinema.. dun wanna survive liao is it?? like dat ppl all go buy vcd beta right? go watch movie for wat? bu hua sia....

yeah.. den wanna go repair my mp3!! sian lehz.. only like 2 months old?? den got problem liao.. hai... saded!! xin tong!!!!

yeah!! cant wait sia... wonder how would i turn out to be after a level this yr.. after all the hardwork not like last yr.. hahahahhahaaaa....... cant imagine! hahahah cant wait!!!

TML MID YEAR!!! NO CONFIDENT!!!

2005-05-08T06:16:00.000-07:00

hai.. tml is mid yr le.. first paper is maths.. now still studying.. till i pek chek... i mean.. i study till very frustrated.. hai.. so many things forgot so many things dunno.. so many things cant do... how how.. hai... scared lor.. moreover tml there is chem paper 3 too lor.. that one though not as scary.. yet.. nv really study like dat.. juz do excercise only.. maths. maths.,. maths.. how???

mathematical induction cant do... integration not gd... AP GP can die... trigo not very stable.. wah!!! die le la.... how?? depend on 2nd paper?? dunno can of not.. hai.. SAVE ME!!!!

BABY!!!

2005-05-07T01:21:00.000-07:00

rui qing jie jie give birth le!! baby ger!! today(6th May) at ard 11++am. keke... was so so excited.. wanted to go see baby today.. but mummy say ppl who are first time mummy will feel very tired n very painful de.. no energy to talk to us. go see le oso no use. not as if we are her immediate relatives... ya.. so nv go lor.. hai.. wanna see her n her baby!!!!

after so long...

2005-05-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

hey you!! hahahaa.. this wk is study leave.. but i'm like so so busy...

tuesday morning got tuition... learnt chem eqm n electrolysis.. den after that came back home do some hw n stuff.. slp.. den at nite go tuition for little kid call angelyn. cute la.. playful. hard to control. think too nice to her le... lazy ger... but quite smart n chatty la.. challenging one. den she got a younger bro.. so cute! hahaa.. pull me here n there play with him. den after our tuition... he actually dun wanna me to go home! hahaa.. stop me at the door. kekee.. cute! love him! hahahaa...

den wednesday.. went for tuition with her again.. why? spelling learn whole nite oso cant finish. hai... almost vomit blood.. complain here n there.. so haf to go there to teach her spelling again.. this time round. got some in her head. but still dun wanna study... called her mum when she got 5 in her head.. claming that she will pass le.. dun need to study le.. so.. her mum oso no choice.. so ask her to learn her chi spelling... same outcome..

after that got a last min tuition with ryan. he taught us maths this time.. dicrete random variable.. not that diff yet.. so.. still alright.. den... came back hm with shelia.. she studied at my hse.. i din study la.. qutie tired.. den do my hse work.. den cook dinner.. den J came to go dinner with her.. ya..

thursday which is today.. went to angelyn hse again.. tuition again,.. ya...chi spelling lor.. den she kena mummy beat. y? reluctant to learn her spelling la.. felt quite useless there.. din manage to help much... in the end she still got finish learning her spelling la.. but is becoz her mum was there n force her to learn. hai.. useless me.. later gg her hse again... this time.. is her elder sis.. felt more sense of achievement to teach her.. more willing to learn n all.. more mature too... gg there soon!

btw.. my last chem test was great!!! hahahaa.. i got an A!!!! oh man! first time seeing an A in my chem result! ahhaa.. but is thermochem..so no big deal actually... ya.. but still happy la! kekekee.... jia you!!!

yeah!

2005-04-11T05:22:00.000-07:00

hehehee.. today got back cla paper.. hai.. can be happy can be sad.. coz i got second this time!! haha.. something to be proud abt coz got improvement since the 3rd the last time. but den.. only HALF a mark to be the top!!! oh man... i want that book! though dunno wat bk.. but i wanna read n see if it is a nice bk anot lehz.. sobz...

anyway, got back my chem last wk.. wasnt that great.. got an AO.. but is quite an achievement that i still can get an AO.. coz normally is a F. but i still home that i can do beta the next time.. on thermochem.. i m aiming for a C. hope i can la..

tml is maths test.. dunno how many question.. but i hope can at least pass this test.. think shldnt be that difficult..

rather tired today.. slpin early today ba.. but hard to slp lehz.. yesterday went swimming with ning ning.. at the most perfect timing.. 12PM to 2 PM. hahaa.. tot no one will be crazy like us to go swimming at that hour.. but was quite wrong.. coz they only go after 1pm.. den ya.. got sun burnt!! n is very painful now!! oh man!!

back to sch

2005-04-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

hey bloggy.. so long nv put in any entry le.. wow.. very long le.. back to sch le.. first chi test was very impromptoo. ya.. luckily still manage to score alright.. 3rd in class tog with another ger. den chem test over too.. that wasnt very gd one.. but at least i can do them.. haha.. though not all.. but i think beta den b4 la.. hahaa... yeah... back to sch wasnt a bad thing. i get to know the importance of study, the joy that i receive when i really studied.. great study grp where we discuss n excel together... real great experience... ya..

pass few days fell sick. had fever since thursday but only got to see doctor yesterday. slept at home whole day din really do much work.. kinda guilty for that.. den today suppose to go test.. chi test.. but my fever was still there.. n the weather not so gd.. dun dare to go sch. after that took my med.. feeling beta.. den went for tuition.. sobz.. a few more marks to my test n i can haf 15bucks off.. muz try harder the next time.. muz build up my speed. yeah!!! made some stupid mistake too.. ya.. after that suppose to haf a tuition with a p6 ger.. but her mum wasnt free.. so she din make it here today.. den make the rest of my day quite free.. gd weather.. so SLP again!! hahaa... din get to do anything again.. sobz.. *guilty*

i promise.. will do sth at least tonite if not by tml muz finish my maths work!! jia you!!!

Shelia's Bday!

2005-03-14T07:03:00.000-08:00

yeah!! sunday is shelia's bday..hahaa... had a hard time but.. no fun la.. she knew sth is up lor.. but i actually saw tears in her eyes. haha. dunno is fake one or wat.. or juz that she yawned?? hmm.. anyway.. ya.. here it goes...

on friday.. i contacted huining n asked her abt everything. den decided to add adeline into our present shareholder.. hahaa... den we din haf enuff money..*poor la..* got shelia's mum for help. we got her to helped us make a cake for her bday. den we bought her a cushion with tasmania on it.. haha. that;s very very cute!! coz it's leg is 3D!! hahaa. pink cushion.. den got her a pair of dangling earrings. hehee.. her first dangling earrings i believe. den got a box of rochale?? dunno how to spell la.. some chocolate la huh? yup! den we discussed and got to a conclusion on saturday nite. ya!

sunday morning i asked ning where n when to meet. she juz told me 12pm. nth else.. i was like.. dotx.. 12pm meet where.. den she say anywhere u decide.. den it was 11plus le lor.. den i asked 1pm can or not.. she juz say okay.. den asked her where she say i decide le den tell her,... machiam as if i noe wat time she meeting shelia's mum and whether we can go her mum's hse anot. cox everything is she discussed with her mum not me!! den i realise she still slpin. so juz heck her n say 1.15pm at CP. in the end.. i was late. hahaha.. why? got to help my mum dye hair. cook lunch. eat lunch. make my mum happy a bit den can go out!! hahaha...yup.

den here we reach CP. den she told me she dunno where to stop when we were abt to take LRT. win liao right? hahaa.. den called her mum n asked her of course. haha... her mum sound so kan jiong so nervous. cant blame her.. she very nice lehz.. woke up early in the morning 6am tried to make the cake that shelia wants.. (oreo cheese cake) den failed... made another one at 8am. den rush out with her husband to bedok... den rush back to meet us juz to get us back to the hse and got shelia back home. GREAT MUM right? ya.. when we reach her hse.. it;s abt 2+pm. meeting shelia at 2.30pm. we intend to gif her a surprise. so we actually told her that we cant celebrate for her on her bday coz of this n that earlier. den got to her hse n hide!! hahaa.. hide in her bro's rm. hahaa..

(details n more details) in the end.. everything out. hahaa.. hope she is happy la huh? she said her mum n jeremy's acting skills cannot make it. so she actually got to know there muz be sth gg on. haha.. den she n Ning got to eat almost half of the cake. i cant eat la.. so din touch. only eat oreo. hahaa... yeah!! den after that shelia n her boy went to her boy's relative's hse. den too early for ning n me to go back. so went out. decided to go bugis!! hahaa.. yeah!!

at bugis.. ahhaa.. we decided to play ard, wear those clothes either we cant afford or we will nv get to buy or nv will wanna buy de.. hahaa... so.. we went to dorothy perkins. hahaa.. tried 2 spag top and a long sleeve black top, 2 bottom which are a bit 3 quart type de. yeah!! to my surprise. one of the spag top actually look quite nice on me lehz.. can u imagine a fat pig wearing spag and yet it dun look disgusting? i cant but really looks alright. den the black long sleeve top is NICE!!! 19.90!! wanna get lehz.. hahaa.. next wk!! hahahaa... den went on to another dunno where la.. tried tube top! hahaa.. told u.. those we will nv buy or wear kinda clothes. hahaa.. alright la.. not that great. ya.. den went to S n K... like on of the top. but to wear that need to get a spag for the inside de... quite ex lehz.. spag is ard 12 or 14? the top is 25!!! total??? OH MY GOD!! hahaa.. so juz wear for fun la.. hahaa.. anyway i dun really look nice in that la.. hahaha.. yup!

went on to see ard.. din intend to get anything la.. but in the end.. we both bought a pair of earrings each!! 2.50 only. hahaha.. pink colour for me n blue for ning!! nice nice wor!! hahahaa.. yeah.. intending to go back there next wk. get my black top yeah!! den need to study!! oh! btw.. my first tuition was great!! learn alot of stuff!! COOL!!!

seems like...

2005-03-10T05:48:00.000-08:00

seems like this dun support chi.. sobz.. my compo cant be read by anyone... hahaa..

My compo

2005-03-10T05:30:00.000-08:00

here i wrote sth in chinese. a compo la.. my feeling too.. ya... hope can share with u bloggy...

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“嘀嘀答答…” 雨点一滴一滴地落下。早上那晴朗的天空已不知何去何从。秒针嘀答嘀答的走着，我早上那仅有的笑容也随着那声响，一点一滴的消失。心越沉越低，似乎已落入千谷深渊中了。再过半个小时，我便会来到我人生的另一个十字路口。这是一个不完全能由自己选择去路的十字路口。心中的一切彷徨与无助是谁也无法给予任何帮助的。

此时此刻的我正朝着学院的方向走去。坐在那巴士上，望着窗外的街道，不知何故都好象被蒙上一层暗淡的色彩。虽然我非常清楚我正朝着学院方向走去，但对自己未来的道路，却像只迷途羔羊般迷糊。在那朦胧细雨中，我似乎看见了自己的未来，看见不久后将发生的事。。。

慢慢地，我拖着那沉重的脚步，一步一步，有点失去平衡般的踏入了校门口。应该是因为天气的缘故吧，整个世界变得昏昏暗暗的。荫风阵阵吹过。那寒风吹进了我心头里去了。我打了个寒颤。我停下了脚步，总觉得有种不祥的预感。是我多心了吗？

来到了礼堂，大家都聚集在那兒，气氛是十分的紧张。校长滔滔不绝地说了很多。她在台上分析了很多对我们来说都已毫无意义的一堆资料。校长说了很久。看着她那一张一合的嘴，却听不到任何的声音。是我聋了吗？我似乎已开始封闭自己，将自己锁在只有自己的世界里。对于这次的考试，我是一点信心也没有。我不期望自己能考得多好，但至少也该及格吧。站在最后的我，一直装着看得很开的样子，与大家说说笑笑的。

终于轮到我了。上前拿了一堆没用的书刊，纸张。老师分完后，又拖拖拉拉的交代这儿，交代那儿，才将成绩单递给我。我不敢看，没勇气去看。拿了便放进书包里，离开了礼堂。走到全校人烟最稀少的地方。我慢动作的掀开了成绩单。天啊！我。。。我居然只有一科是及格的，而且也只是刚刚及格罢了。我一生学习的生涯中，从未失败过。这是地一次。我看傻了，只能呆呆的望着那张如同废纸般的文凭。这时的我，脑袋一片空白。我真的不知该如何是好。我的未来要如何走下去？我现在因该想些什么？该做何打算？该如何面对父母对我的期盼？该如以失败者的身份去面对着世界？不知道，真的什么都不知道。

此时眼前一片朦胧。泪水不断涌出，像瀑布般的怎么也控制不了的。我现在只想静静地从这世上消失。只要离开这里，所有的‘不知道’，所有的‘怎么办’，也都会随着消失。从此再也没有所谓的不安，没有社会所带来的压力，没有人们所给予的眼光。哈！那是多么棒的事啊！

不知何时，也不知怎么的，我来到一座组屋的顶楼。看着无边无际的天空，多美好啊！顿时感到一种前所未有的平静，似乎来到天堂似的，好舒服，好舒服。这正是我想要的感觉，想要的世界。我来了！

“紫婷！下车了！还发什么呆啊？”

星心

First Major Setback

2005-03-09T22:18:00.000-08:00

Why do I only update my blog now? after 8 days since my birthday? Because I was in depression mood for qutie sometime after i took my result on 4th of march. I've always been a ger whereby i dun haf to study much... dun haf to be very hardworking n yet i can continue my study by luck or wat so ever. manage to get by all my examinations and reach till jc level. 4th of march mark a special day in my life. i got my a level result then.. as my my title goes... it was indeed my first major setbacks.

i always potray a strong front. cheerful, optimistic and every positive words u can find. but 4th march is the day when i m totally lost. lost in the world, lost in my world, lost in lalaa land. i've got to see my result. yes! i failed! i've got O O E and a C6 for my result. E is my grade for my CLA. that was really a shock! i actually tot i might get a C or even a B. but yet.. an E was shown. the other 2 was more or less expected as i really din put in much effort then.. played too much, too much involvement in any other activities other than studies. till around august or so.. i was lost. totally lost in the world of book, in the world of study. i din noe wat to do then, din haf enuff courage to face the fact that i m really laggin way behind others. having too much of self confidence thinking that i did it in the past, i will be able to do it again now! but i couldn't. JC life is very much different from secondary sch. it is only now then i realise JC students are a bunch of elites in singapore, all study very hard very well. it's very different from o level where the standards really varies alot!

with this setback, i think i do grow up a little. i got to know the importance of studying, i know the importance of every single things that we haf to do in schools. i know how to prioritise my time. i got to know the feeling of FAILURE. if not because of this setback, i will nv wake up, nv will i able to noe that there is indeed a limit to my cleverness. i was actually juz over confident of myself.

O O E C6 is really not a cert that i will want to see. here is my aim, my target!

mid yr : D D D C6

prelim: C C B C5

A level: B A B B4

(first column in chem, second is maths C , third ClA and lastly is Gp.)

i will further update my results n see if i meet all my target. i want to excel! i want to get at least an A for my A level. Hope that this will be a realistic goal for my studies now on. All the best!